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The Toothfairy is Afraid of Heights

If you’ll recall, my second born daughter is a notorious packrat.  She parts willingly with NOTHING.  Not even her own teeth.

She was do determined not to give up her first front tooth, that the thing finally fell out of her head mid-sentence.

Whereupon, the remaining front tooth took up residence right square in the middle where the two front teeth ought to be.  With a good deal of space on either side.

Giving her the appearance of a Jack-O-Lantern.

That lone tooth was so loose, that it twisted and turned and would go completely sideways when she would talk.

It was unnerving, to say the least.

No amount of coaxing could persuade her to allow us to help it along.  I even offered her twice what the Toothfairy is known to pay.

Nothing doing.

Finally, after enduring this for nearly two months, we could take it no more.  Also, the persistent thoughts of infection and high periodontal bills may have aided us in taking action.

And let’s just say that it took two parents, some herculean strength, and a promise of ice cream to coax that tooth out.

And by coax, I mean I had to lay on top of her while Fiddledaddy pulled.

Don’t worry, we set aside a few dollars a month for the therapy that I’m certain our children will need before we see them through adolescence.

After all the drama, screams, tears, and blood, she went to view her new look in the mirror.

She smiled, and said, “Hey, I like it without that tooth.”

Shoot me.

I placed the bain of my existence into a small snack baggy and labeled it “Cailey’s front tooth.  3/1/09.  R.I.P.”

I told her to go put it under her pillow for the Toothfairy to collect.  She grabbed the baggy to her chest and looked at me horrified, “NO WAY!  I’m keeping it.”

Whatever dude.  That’s one less dollar I have to part with.

And so, true to her word, she has drug that baggied tooth around with her for the last month or so.

Then, on a very recent trip to Target, she spied a toy she wanted to save up for.  She did a some quick math calculations, and concluded that with her weekly allowance, it would take quite a while.

Then she hit on an idea to speed up the process by a dollar.  “Mom, I think I’m ready for the Toothfairy to take my tooth.”


Last night, she found her baggy and marched off to bed.

When I walked her into her room to say goodnight, something occurred to me.

Somebody forgot to tell the Toothfairy that we just got a new bunkbed.

And Cailey sleeps on top.

People.  I climbed up there for the first and only time last weekend to put the clean sheets on the mattress.  And I leaned over just a little to tuck everything in.  And whacked my head on the ceiling fan.

Which was “on.”

I saw little cartoon birds flying around my head for a good minute.

And it was then I decided that clean sheets are overrated.  Once a year should be fine.

Darn tooth.

Cailey worried about the Toothfairy ascending the spindly ladder also, and suggested that maybe she should just tuck her baggy into the side of the bed.  So the Toothfairy wouldn’t get hurt.

I agreed that was a good idea.  And so then at dark thirty, the Toothfairy tiptoed into a little blonde girl’s room, and replaced that tiny tooth with a crisp dollar bill.

Plus a little interest.

Thankfully, the Toothfairy can keep her bunny slippered feet planted firmly on the ground.

While giving instructions to a certain still-toothless 7 year old on how to change her own sheets.


12 Responses to The Toothfairy is Afraid of Heights

  • Yes, the one BIG problem about bunk beds that no-one informs you about before-hand. . .

  • Yep, once a year should be fine. Or none at all is ok too. 🙂

  • LOL this story made me laugh because i too have cracked my head on the ceiling above my boys bunkbed. also not to make you paranoid but watch that top bunk when kissing child on bottom bunk good night I have cracked my head on that too a couple times becasue you know…I am just graceful that way. 🙂 A tip for you though….at our house we put th ekids tooth in a jar of water on the counter in front of the kitchen window so the toothfairy can spot it easier witht he moonlight….my parents did this with me and it worked like a charm. unless of course the toothfairy forgets and gets up and frantically writes a note sprinkled with glitter that says she was so busy giving new teeth to all the new babies born and will pay double tomorrow. *blush* But for the most part it works. 🙂

  • LOL – I’m a firm believer that if, for example, one’s DH is the one who insists on his son having said bunk bed, then it should be the DH who changes the sheets are retrieves all manner of teeth and other items from said top bunk. Forever and ever. Amen. I’m just sayin’…

  • She’s gotta learn sometime, right? Better now than later!! Love your stories!!

  • The important thing is that you.. I mean the tooth fairy remembered, ours has been a bit incompetent lately. Thankfully she’s really sly and slips the money in when the kid is distracted.

  • We ditched the bunkbeds for a bed with a pull out trundle. Changing the sheets is so much easier now. (not that it actually gets done more often.)

  • LOL!!! Our tooth fairy did the same thing just a few days ago!! And when she climbed down after delivering the dollar, she stepped on some random Barbie paraphernalia, causing quite the pain in her foot. Sheesh.
    And I don’t know which is worse – the top bunk sheet, or the crib sheet. They both drive me nuts. 🙂

  • I’m so glad there are other 7-year-olds out there who still believe in the tooth fairy.

  • When I was 7, I swore up and down that I saw the tooth fairy. She was green and floating in the air…boy did I feel stupid when I found out she wasn’t real. I must have been hallucinating.

  • This story is too funny! Kids get attached to the weirdest things, huh?

    I have had to get VERY leinient on the sheet changing in Baby Bug’s crib…now that I’m 34 weeks pregnant if it doesn’t smell I say ‘oh well’. Now I am also greatful we don’t have bunk beds.

  • The look of terror on my younger daughter’s face after I told her that the tooth fairy would come into her room and leave money under her pillow, prompted me to tell her that mommy was really the tooth fairy. She then went down the list of imaginary gift bearers that she had believed in all of her life and asked me if mommy and daddy were Santa and the Easter Bunny, too. Her big sister, sat right beside her, and waited for my answer. First lost tooth and the loss of all the magic all in one night.