If you’ll recall, my second born daughter is a notorious packrat. She parts willingly with NOTHING. Not even her own teeth.
She was do determined not to give up her first front tooth, that the thing finally fell out of her head mid-sentence.
Whereupon, the remaining front tooth took up residence right square in the middle where the two front teeth ought to be. With a good deal of space on either side.
Giving her the appearance of a Jack-O-Lantern.
That lone tooth was so loose, that it twisted and turned and would go completely sideways when she would talk.
It was unnerving, to say the least.
No amount of coaxing could persuade her to allow us to help it along. I even offered her twice what the Toothfairy is known to pay.
Finally, after enduring this for nearly two months, we could take it no more. Also, the persistent thoughts of infection and high periodontal bills may have aided us in taking action.
And let’s just say that it took two parents, some herculean strength, and a promise of ice cream to coax that tooth out.
And by coax, I mean I had to lay on top of her while Fiddledaddy pulled.
Don’t worry, we set aside a few dollars a month for the therapy that I’m certain our children will need before we see them through adolescence.
After all the drama, screams, tears, and blood, she went to view her new look in the mirror.
She smiled, and said, “Hey, I like it without that tooth.”
I placed the bain of my existence into a small snack baggy and labeled it “Cailey’s front tooth. 3/1/09. R.I.P.”
I told her to go put it under her pillow for the Toothfairy to collect. She grabbed the baggy to her chest and looked at me horrified, “NO WAY! I’m keeping it.”
Whatever dude. That’s one less dollar I have to part with.
And so, true to her word, she has drug that baggied tooth around with her for the last month or so.
Then, on a very recent trip to Target, she spied a toy she wanted to save up for. She did a some quick math calculations, and concluded that with her weekly allowance, it would take quite a while.
Then she hit on an idea to speed up the process by a dollar. “Mom, I think I’m ready for the Toothfairy to take my tooth.”
Last night, she found her baggy and marched off to bed.
When I walked her into her room to say goodnight, something occurred to me.
Somebody forgot to tell the Toothfairy that we just got a new bunkbed.
And Cailey sleeps on top.
People. I climbed up there for the first and only time last weekend to put the clean sheets on the mattress. And I leaned over just a little to tuck everything in. And whacked my head on the ceiling fan.
Which was “on.”
I saw little cartoon birds flying around my head for a good minute.
And it was then I decided that clean sheets are overrated. Once a year should be fine.
Cailey worried about the Toothfairy ascending the spindly ladder also, and suggested that maybe she should just tuck her baggy into the side of the bed. So the Toothfairy wouldn’t get hurt.
I agreed that was a good idea. And so then at dark thirty, the Toothfairy tiptoed into a little blonde girl’s room, and replaced that tiny tooth with a crisp dollar bill.
Plus a little interest.
Thankfully, the Toothfairy can keep her bunny slippered feet planted firmly on the ground.
While giving instructions to a certain still-toothless 7 year old on how to change her own sheets.