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Thanks Be to the Lard

I think we’ve done it.  I think we’ve finally found a hydrating skin routine in the form of two 20 minute bathtub soaks a day, and the most perfect skin moisturizer for my Jensen.

I’ve written here how Jensen suffers from severe Atopic Dermatitis.  It took a sweet forever to get this properly diagnosed, and finding the correct treatment has aged me a decade or so.

But thanks be to God in the highest that Jensen is sleeping through the night more often than not.  Four long years of sleep deprivation have left their mark on me, my friends. The least of which has been the slow and steady deterioration of my writing skills.

The magic skin cream that we’ve hit upon?

It would be the lard.

Yes, lard.  As in, what my nanny use to fry up a chicken in.

Although, unlike my nanny, I’m not saving up old bacon drippings in a crock to be used for Sunday dinner.

I found a brand of organic all vegetable shortening at the health food store.  The ingredients boast of mechanically pressed organic palm oil.  That’s it.  And my favorite part?  I can buy a 24 oz. tub for a mere $6.00.

Take that Aquaphor.  You’re dead to me now.

The lard has been a welcome part of my family for generations now.  And while I no longer deep fry dinner in it, I discovered a couple of years ago, that I could slather Crisco on my poor bedraggled feet, which I would then besock, and sleep my way to supple and soft heels.  And like nearly everything else in my life, I shared that little secret with the internet here.

If you should find yourself ever to desire to stray from those expensive moisturizers, I beseech you to turn to the lard.

You’ll be eternally glad you did.   😉


16 Responses to Thanks Be to the Lard

  • That’s one of the best titles EVER! And “turn to the lard”? You should be awfully proud of yourself, because this one is GOLD!

  • Maybe I am the only weird one, but lard grosses me out. If I bake I have to use butter or Crisco that looks like butter because the white stuff, well, you heard me. Anyway, stopped by to wish you a happy Easter!

    • I hear you, Suzanne. But honestly, the organic stuff is very light and goes on easily. And my son doesn’t even smell a bit like fried chicken when I slather him down. Not that there’s anything wrong with smelling like fried chicken. 🙂

      And a very Happy and Blessed Easter to you and your family as well. Thank you!

  • Well, praise God. I had a run-of-the-mill case of poison ivy two weeks ago and was absolutely frantic to figure out exactly how I got it so I could prevent my children from getting in!! As I was walking through Safeway looking for cortisone cream and reflecting on what a DISASTER it would be if one of my kids got poison ivy, I thought of you and prayed for endurance and a solution. I really can’t imagine going through what you’ve been through with Jensen!!

  • Take that Aquaphor. You’re dead to me now.


  • I’m a coconut oil user, myself. On my face, on my body, in my cooking… All over.

  • Amen. My Mimi would smile to know that once again she was right. Now maybe that sleeping through the night has occurred, you could play Rip Van Winkle. Just make sure an awake adult is in the house.

    No, wait, the blogging will be better if not. Tee hee.

  • I’m confused! How can lard be all-vegetable when it’s made from little piggies?

    • I understand. I’m in a constant state of confusion. I just use the term “lard” to encompass all vegetable shortening. Because it makes me laugh. I often take creative license that way!


  • Who woulda thunk it??? Lard actually is good for something in our lives, huh? So glad you found a solution for lil’ Jenson.

  • Oh, my. That is awe. some.

  • “Take that Aquaphor. You’re dead to me now.”
    LOL! I almost spit my drink!

  • Yay! How great to hit on something so effective and cheap. I, too, am glad to know that stuff is good for something.

  • I, too, was a bit confused by the palm oil you called lard. Glad you understand the difference, cause I was about to give you an education!! (I am in the soap business, you know.)

  • So, southerners DO have a reason to have big tubs of Lard in their home, afterall! 🙂 Must try this at home! Thanks for the tidbit!

  • That is so funny! LOVE the title.
    My dear son has severe Eczema and I get contact dermatitus. Both know to be made waaaaaaay worse by having dry skin. We like you tried EVERY creme, lotion, and potion known to man. We finally found that pure olive oil works real well. Also when it is real bad we use REAL from the cactus Aloe Vera. That is the last resort at it is labor intensive and costly. Both work real well. I have to try the lard though.
    and God bless