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A Sure Cure for Hoof in Mouth Disease


Me:  “Honey, I just found out that P31 Ministries is offering a scholarship again this year to attend the She Speaks Conference coming up July 31st to August 2nd.  I need to write about why I want to go.”

Him (ripping into a bag of tortilla chips):  “Did you read the post that won last year?”

Me (getting him a bowl):  “Yes, Karla wrote it and it was wonderful.”

Him (ignoring the bowl):  “Well.  Just copy and paste that one.”

And with that, he left the room, trailing tortilla chip carnage in his wake.

He’ll be here all week, ladies and gentlemen.

I attended She Speaks last year.  On the writer’s track.  I was blessed by the speakers and attendees in ways that I’m still processing, a year later.

I desperately wish to attend again this year.  But not on the Writer’s track (although the readers of this blog are all sending up a collective prayer that I will rethink this position).

I really feel led to be placed on the Speaker’s Track.

In this last year, I have been asked to speak.  In public.  In front of people.  People with ears.

And I said yes.  Which is odd because I have a deep and abiding fear of speaking in public.  And interestingly, when I’m nervous, the most inappropriate stories seem to fall from my mouth.

I think that should I attend the She Speaks conference on the Speakers Track, I might learn a lesson like; “Always ask if you will be speaking from, say, a holy alter in the sanctuary of God’s house.”

And if so, you won’t plan a talk that includes factoids about yourself like how you were named after a stripper.

Or you might not feel compelled to relive the story about how you turned around in the library one day only to find your 3 year old son naked, from the waist down.

Things like that.

I believe that laughter is God’s medicine.  And this is why my blog rarely tackles the tough issues.  My blog is a respite for weary moms like myself, who just need to prop up their bunny slippered feet and laugh at their predicament.

I want to be able to do the same thing when I’m asked to speak to the moms in the trenches.  And yet, have my wits about me to tie in what God is whispering in my ear.

Oh Lord, let my words be a healing salve, even when sprinkled with bathroom humor.

To read more entries from many women who are such a blessing to the internet, head over to Lysa’s blog.


12 Responses to A Sure Cure for Hoof in Mouth Disease

  • So glad you’re going again. I probably will not. ($$$) I’d like to do the speakers’ track, too. That’s what I’d do if I were going. Have fun.

  • Good luck! I’m trying to win for blogging reasons! That and Jo-Lynne is redoing my blog right now and I just might have to buy her meals for the entire weekend!

  • Oddly enough, sometimes healing salve is needed in the bathroom. ;>)

    • Melanie,

      I now have a visual in my head that I may never heal from…

      And btw, you are my people.


  • I think I’ll just cut and paste your post and publish it on *my* blog. 😉

    Well, DeeDee, let’s just leave our glamorous lives behind for a few months and travel/speak together. I’ll add that to my Bucket List. 😉

  • You’ve got my vote. Cause if I can’t go, I want YOU to.

    Besides, think of all the frogs that will be waiting for you on your return.

    (Yes folks, the season of unmitigated and unending frog jokes has begun. Start you engines – or flippers. Whatever floats your boat.)

  • I completely understand naked boys and toilet humor. Good luck in your endeavor for the scholarship and with being a MOM! 🙂

  • I’m trying really hard not to be green – with envy. Even though I about croaked when I saw the price tag to go it. But I would jump for joy if I could attend. Sadly all 4 people who read my blog would say I shouldn’t bother. 😉

    You would be awesome!

  • Hi there!

    Gosh it’s been f-o-r-e-v-e-r since I’ve been by (bad me!), but I’ve sure had fun catching up with you this afternoon.

    I, for one, would love to hear you speak!


  • Your husband is a clever bugger, isn’t he?

    Oddly enough, since writing is what will win for you, you are in a good position aren’t you? I need to attend the writers track to get me into the speakers track. Sigh.

    You are a funny gal. I’m sure God will bless you as you follow Him. =)

  • Thanks for stopping by my blog. Personally, I’d love to hear your “factoid” talks. I was rolling in laughter after reading the things you wrote in this post. I can so relate!

    If God is leading you to the speaker track then do it! He has His reasons and maybe He needs somebody real, like you seem to be, to put the rest of us at ease. P.S. I have a fear of public speaking too which, I’m sure, is why God sent me around the country speaking last year!!

  • Your husband sounds very practical…just like mine 🙂 !

    Praying for your dream to attend the conference! Good luck!