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I Walk the Line

I love to come here and tell you of my successes.

Like the time I ate an entire column of Oreo-wanna-be’s in one sitting.  Or when I bit into a piece of Easter chocolate only to discover it was in actuality, a rock.  Or when I dug through the trash to retrieve two cookies, thrown away the day prior.

Or when I slithered into my one piece bathing suit, and took on the persona of a stuffed sausage.

Giving sausages everywhere a bad name.

Yes, proud moments.

Last December I boldly stated that I was hopping back on the South Beach Diet bandwagon to shed those unwanted pregnancy pounds (last pregnancy was nearly 4 years ago, but who’s counting).  And a bunch of y’all got on with me in an effort to make this year about getting fit and feeling great.

So, here it is the middle of February and I wanted to let you all know how it was going.

I fell flat on my face.

I completely underestimated the fact that the last time I tried (and succeeded) with South Beach I only had 2 kids, and I wasn’t attempting to homeschool anyone.

In other words, I was not prepared.

I’ve completely regrouped and I’m trying something a little simpler.  It involves eating 6 times a day (for metabolism), combining a protein and healthy carb at every meal, portion control, and working out SIX times a week.  I even took the dreaded “before” picture.  That was sobering.

I won’t go into any more detail than that.  When I see the results, I’ll spill my guts.  What’s left of ’em.

What this has meant, is that on alternate days, I will be reacquainting myself with my treadmill.

The same treadmill that was buried in the garage.  Underneath 4 bicycles, one big wheel trike, a crib (which I then used as a barricade to keep small children away from said treadmill), a used wedding dress (worn once), and a bag of old decrepit toys that I intend to throw away (don’t tell Cailey).

The children followed me out to the garage to see what was up.  Jensen eyed the treadmill when it was finally unearthed.  “Whassthat mama?”

I tried to explain it to him.  “Um, mommy walks on it.”


“Because I need to exercise?”


Because I packed on 50 pounds with you, and you children KIND OF STRESS ME OUT and exercise is really good for stress SO I’M TOLD and I just want to have 20 minutes to myself to walk on this darn thing while listening to my HAPPY MUSIC on my iPod without the fear of you people setting the house ablaze!!!!!

Okay.  I just thought all of that.  What I actually said was more along the lines of, “Because it will make mommy happy.”

And with that, I flipped the switch, shoved my iPod earbuds into place, and blasted off.

“Mommy, what’s all that squeaking?”

I look down at the treadmill to a label at the base which reads “The quiet treadmill.”  After so many years of nonuse, it could use a little oil I reckon.  Couldn’t we all.

I turned the music up louder and walked faster.

With three pairs of eyes glued to me.  Like they’ve never seen me walk before.

It was only slightly unnerving.

Eventually they lost interest and played on the floor of the garage, just to be near me.

I figured I was safe to have my happy tunes blasting my eardrums because if there were a ear splitting scream from my children I’m certain I’d hear it because of my heightened mommy sixth sense, and I knew that if blood were spurting from anyone, I could catch it in my peripheral vision.

I finished my 20 minutes, and put in another 10 just for penance for all those downed Oreos from so long ago.

I have an awfully long road ahead of me.  One step at a time.  And if I fall on my face, I’ll just get back up, dust the crumbs off my shirt, and forge ahead.


22 Responses to I Walk the Line

  • Walk on! Dee Dee…I have also fallen on my face with exercise…my CURVES down the street is missing me. Although losing the extra inches and pounds is great, the STRESS relief is better just like they say! Thanks for making me smile every morning.

  • Don’t you love having a miniature audience for every blessed thing you do?

  • We got a Wii Fit (after getting rid of the unused space waster AKA treadmill). And the audience is freaky. Especially since the audience is also constantly asking when it is their turn.

  • My husband and I ARE the SlimQuick commercial where they both go on a diet and he goes from round to stick thin, and she gains weight. That’s what’s happened to us since Jan. But I’m with you in the regrouping and trying again. Yes, one step at a time!

  • Good luck! My treadmill is still in the garage under a mountain of box fans, baseball bags and lawn chairs.

  • I’d give those kids big foam fingers and noise makers and have them cheer you on.

  • Amen, it is just one step at a time!!!

  • Way to go, Dee Dee!!! On to day number 2!!!

  • mrefd eowifn oooo!

    Oh, excuse me. That was “Good for you!” but my mouth was full of chocolate mini-donuts. 🙂 I’ve been exercising for about a year and a half now — much weeping and gnashing of teeth on my part. But I’ve been rewarded with shed pounds, compliments, and improved energy. I’m plateau-ing right now, so trying to keep going. Rock on!

  • Why is it so hard to lose weight and so easy to eat an oreo. God should have made chewing more tiresome.
    Of course, I have been known to just shove somethings down whole, so, there you go.
    Good luck!

  • You know what always saves me? Remembering I didn’t GET this way overnight and I won’t get BACK the way I want overnight. Sounds good in theory, now if I could just put it into practice!

  • yeah, me too. I’m sorta doing a combination of South-Beach-Biggest-Loser-Weight-Watchers and whatever I can remember that I read or watched that was supposed to be a good diet. It’s too simple to just say “no” to sweets (girl scout cookies are here) and bread. And I am going to Curves EVERY day – a fact that has shown up in my swollen and painful knee. But I’m not stopping! I”M NOT!!

  • Good for you getting back on the wagon so to speak.
    LOL I have to laugh at your kids reactions! So like mine! My darling son said I looked like a cartoon when i tried to run on the treadmill! LOL
    God bless

  • Just keep walking – you can do it. Thank you for being so honest with all of us, we would not have know.

  • “…like they’ve never seen me walk before” ha ha ha…

    I stood in the kitchen fixing dinner tonight and MY WORD — all three kids were standing within a 1′ radius of me. What is up with the Mama Magnet?

    I’ve put on about 10-15 pounds just in the last 9 months. I’m pretty happy about that.

    btw, these other commenters are hilarious! (the mini donut!)

  • I have also fallen off the wagon, and am heading back towards the wagon at breakneck speed! Hubby and I have an actual date night in two weeks, so I have some motivation. My boys always want to “do work out” with me which usually involves my oldest (he’s 5) falling on the floor after 30 seconds because he is simply too tired, and my 4yr old running circles around me while I desperately try not to kick him in the head!

    Heres to successful weight loss for us all!!

  • “… And a bunch of y’all got on with me in an effort to make this year about getting fit and feeling great.”

    Okay, so I was one of the folks referenced above. And I fell off the wagon too. Several times, in fact. But I keep getting back on. Can that count as “exercise?”

    Just wanted to let you know you’re not alone in the battle …

  • Oh man, you do make me lauch. And the other comments! So funny!

    I’ve experienced that unnerving stare too.

  • Um LAUGH. Honestly. It looks like I meant to say launch. That’s totally not what I was thinking. LAUGH!

  • Oh, I can tell from your description – it’s BFL!!! The love of my life!!

    I’ve been doing all that stuff for over 4 years. It HONESTLY works, if you stick with it. Menu planning is everything.

    I went from a size 10/12 to a 2/4 in 6 months doing it by the book. I’m a trainer now, if you ever have any questions, just holler.

    Here’s to your health – and that smaller size!!

  • Hey– we’re going through this together and I didn’t even know it! I am also doing the treadmill every day (we just bought one in Jan) and eating a protein and a carb (meaning only fruits and veggies, no whites whatsoever) at each meal. I am also taking these protein drinks that I am *supposed* to be drinking four times a day– but with all the screaming (from the kids, not me) and other interruptions it usually comes out to be about three, if I’m lucky. My biggest treat has gone from large bowls of ice cream to a simple cup of Redbush Chai tea, sweetened with Stevia.

    I feel better than ever– and am watching the pounds fall off. It’s nice. Will I see you at She Speaks so we can do “after” photos together??