My husband has a difficult time buying gifts for me because I’m not your ordinary girl. I don’t wear perfume, have no need for diamonds (especially since my girls bought me those HUGE 100% cubic zirconia rings for Mother’s Day), don’t like flowers because they only die, and have had to shun Godiva Chocolate Coconut Truffles.
May my metabolism rest in peace.
And then, on our anniversary, he had a stroke of brilliance. He bought me an iPod.
After years of mocking me because I hung on to my canary yellow walkman until it’s untimely death after 18 years of service, he figured I could do with a little something for my tunes.
Something small and modern. And hot pink.
It truly was the perfect gift for me. I even got a little thingamajigy that will play my iPod out loud while I’m in the kitchen exhibiting my culinary abilities.
But what he didn’t consider was that he had married a woman with questionable taste in music.
He passed through the kitchen one day as my iPod was playing that classic 70’s hit “My Baby Loves Lovin”. He stopped dead in his tracks, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
MOVE ON MISTER. THIS IS MY HAPPY MUSIC. DO NOT MOCK ME. REMEMBER, I PREPARE YOUR FOOD.
And really, should my iPod ever be lost or stolen, I would die of embarrassment. Because my husband thoughtfully had my name engraved on it.
Well. My friend, Jules, had a meme on her blog that I could not resist. (This meme was originally created by Elle.) The following are questions geared toward motherhood. Only, the answers to these questions must come from your personal musical library (iPod, MP3, Sony Walkman). Instead of “shuffle”, I did massage my answers. Because I am, as we know, a rebel at heart.
With that in mind, I will now let my musical freak flag fly. These are all songs that are on my iPod at this very minute.
HOW DID YOU BECOME A MOM?
“Dancing in the Moonlight” by King Harvest
WHAT DID YOU THINK THE FIRST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BABY?
“I Think I Love You” by David Cassidy (SHUT UP!)
WHAT DID YOU DO THE FIRST MORNING AFTER A SLEEPLESS NIGHT?
“If Looks Could Kill” by Heart
WHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN SOMEONE COLORS ON THE WALL?
“Since You’ve Been Gone” by Rainbow
HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH A TODDLER’S BODILY FLUID ISSUES?
“Bye Bye” by JoDee Messina
IF SOMEONE SAYS “Can I have a snack?” YOU SAY?
“American Pie” by Don McLean
IF SOMEONE LEAVES THEIR STUFF ON THE FLOOR, YOU SAY?
“Should’ve Known Better” by Richard Marx
IF SOMEONE ISN’T SICK TODAY, YOU SAY?
“Just Can’t Help Believing” by B.J. Thomas
HOW DO YOUR KIDS ENJOY YOUR COOKING?
“Won’t Last a Day” by the Carpenters (See previous post)
HOW DID YOUR KIDS DO IN SCHOOL TODAY?
“Make Me Lose Control” by Richard Marx
HOMESCHOOLERS, WHAT IS THE FIRST SUBJECT TAUGHT OF THE DAY?
“We’ve Only Just Begun” by The Carpenters
WHAT DO YOUR KIDS WANT TO BE WHEN THEY GROW UP?
“Who Says You Can’t Go Home” by BonJovi
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY AS A MOM?
“Don’t Bring Me Down” by Electric Light Orchestra
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE AS A MOM?
“You’re the First, the Last, My Everything” by Barry White
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO AS A MOM?
“S.O.S.” by ABBA
HOW DID YOU KNOW YOU WERE REALLY A MOM?
“Homesick” by Mercy Me
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MOST OFTEN AS A MOM?
“How Do You Like Me Know?” by Toby Keith
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY AS A MOM?
“You Never Even Call Me By My Name” by David Allen Coe
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET AS A MOM?
“December ‘63- Oh What a Night” by The Four Seasons
WHAT IS THE BEST THING YOU’VE EVER DONE AS A MOM?
“The Great Adventure” by Steven Curtis Chapman
WHAT DO YOUR KIDS DO THAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
“Play That Funky Music” by Wild Cherry
WHAT DO YOUR KIDS DO THAT MAKES YOU CRY?
“You Shook Me All Night Long” by ACDC (don’t judge me)
WHAT DO YOUR KIDS DO THAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
“Lesson in Leavin” by JoDee Messina
HOW DO YOUR KIDS DESCRIBE YOU AS THEIR MOM?
“Venus” by Shocking Blue
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
“Never Been Any Reason” by Head East
WHAT WILL YOUR MOM OF THE YEAR CERTIFICATE SAY?
“You Are the Woman” by Firefall
I cannot believe I couldn’t use a single Donny Osmond song in this meme.
And this is why so many record producers are falling all over themselves to get me to review their new musical acts.