(provided by Associated Press)
It was reported that a large sinkhole opened up on aisle #9 in a crowded local Wal•Mart today in Florida. The sinkhole swallowed up two customers, whose names have been withheld pending notification of next of kin. But we can tell you the victims included a 40 something year old mother and her 3 year old son, who was last seen clutching a Blues Clues Blanket and Buzz Lightyear Action Figure.
Prior to the incident, customers from all over the store reported hearing the young boy loudly singing repeated stanzas of “JINGLE BELLS, BATMAN SMELLS, CUZ ROBIN THREW AN EGG…” while holding his own ears. Attempts by his mother to shoosh him were unsuccessful.
Just before the sinkhole appeared, other patrons nearby heard the boy yell to his mother, “MOMMY, YOU HAVE A BOOBY. I’M GOING TO KISS YOUR BOOBY, MOMMY,” as he strained forward in the shopping cart making smooching sounds.
One customer, who asked to remain anonymous, was quoted as saying, “It’s such a shame. Aisle 9 was my favorite aisle. It will be missed.”
Stay tuned to more news as it becomes available.