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Large Sinkhole Opens Under Wal Mart

(provided by Associated Press)

It was reported that a large sinkhole opened up on aisle #9 in a crowded local Wal•Mart today in Florida.  The sinkhole swallowed up two customers, whose names have been withheld pending notification of next of kin.  But we can tell you the victims included a 40 something year old mother and her 3 year old son, who was last seen clutching a Blues Clues Blanket and Buzz Lightyear Action Figure.

Prior to the incident, customers from all over the store reported hearing the young boy loudly singing repeated stanzas of “JINGLE BELLS, BATMAN SMELLS, CUZ ROBIN THREW AN EGG…” while holding his own ears.  Attempts by his mother to shoosh him were unsuccessful.

Just before the sinkhole appeared, other patrons nearby heard the boy yell to his mother, “MOMMY, YOU HAVE A BOOBY.  I’M GOING TO KISS YOUR BOOBY, MOMMY,”  as he strained forward in the shopping cart making smooching sounds.

One customer, who asked to remain anonymous, was quoted as saying, “It’s such a shame.  Aisle 9 was my favorite aisle.  It will be missed.”

Stay tuned to more news as it becomes available.

21 Responses to Large Sinkhole Opens Under Wal Mart

  • Tee hee!! I can totally relate. Last year my boy, who loves his mommy more than anyone, was playing with the word love when he talked to me one day. He ended up calling me his “Lover” and because my husband and I laughed a bit, it kind of stuck and he was known, for a short time, to call me that in public for other people to hear!!!

    Don’t worry – it’s something you’ll laugh about in a few years!!

  • Imagine walking through any store, past the bra section and having your 3 yr old point at just about every bra and exclaim” mommy’s booby” until we are past that section.

    Fun times.

  • Holy cow – I am laughing so very hard right now!!!! Too funny!

  • Oh my, you poor thing. When my son was 5 he announced loudly in Walmart that he was my Sugar Daddy.

    By the way, last night’s show was sooo awesome. There is no way that Tony truly turned bad. No way.

  • You are going to have SO many stories to tell during the toasts at his wedding, heehee. And just think of what you get to tell your future grandchildren! Thanks for the laugh.

  • Oh Jensen, you give your mommy such funny stories to tell. And while I ADORE and laugh hysterically at these said stories (mainly because they aren’t happening to ME), do you think you could give your mommy a break?

  • This gives me more reason to buy more birth control 🙂 hahaha!! You had me laughing out loud on this one!

  • Hehehehe. Almost as bad as my son yelling “Mommy don’t beat me.” When we were in a grocery store and we were playing a game to keep him occupied. Oh the lovely words of young kids.

    Now mine are teens, and they purposefully try to embarrass me. Just wait my friend.

  • Yes we love our children!! My daughter once told every male at the food mart – in a loud clear voice -” I have a vagana, want to see?” as she lifted her dress!
    Yes we love our children!!! Have I told you that we stopped having children after her? Just think of the stories you will have when she gets married.

  • Hmmm, reminds me of my own little one at 2+ singing at the top of his voice while sitting in the supermarket cart, “MARY HAD A NIPPLE MAN! NIPPLE MAN! NIPPLE MAN!…” And the song went on and on and on.

    We didn’t finish our grocery shopping that day…

    And the said 2yo is now a whopping 9, and guffaws to death each time he hears this story 8/

  • Oh. My. Goodness. How embarassing!!! 🙂

  • I’m surprised no Wal-Mart employee has written a book: “Things I Heard While Working at Wal-Mart.” If a child is going to embarrass his Mama, he’s gonna do it there.

  • Wait, let me jump in there with you. I have been in the same position. Only it was my 8 year old singing the Batman smells and the the 3 year old wanting to kiss my body parts. Only even better it happened at my beloved Target.

  • Why was there no sinkhole at a certain aisle in Target when my son (then age 2) pointed at the cashier and said “She’s big”? I wanted to shout, “Lord, take us now!”

  • k….now sometimes dont you just wish that there were certain things issued in the hospital when you have a new babe???
    like a portable sinkhole, cloak of invisibility, third arm…LOL

  • That was hilarious!!! Walmart is definitely the place to go if you want to get embarrassed by your kids. Here’s mine: daughter was probably 2 at the time, points at a male customer as we pass by and says in a nice loud voice, “That’s not my daddy!” As if I said he was!!!!

  • If only that woman had used the blankie strangle hold. It’s where you shove the blanket in the kid’s mouth and tie the ends together.

  • LOL! I worked with a girl who had this weird habit of licking the toilet paper before helping her kids clean up. One day, while in a public restroom, of course, her son started wailing at the top of his voice, “No, Mommy! Don’t lick it!” I figure she was lucky she didn’t go home in handcuffs!

  • So funny!!! Oh my goodness, I was laughing out loud! Oh Wal-Mart does bring us the most interesting stories.

  • I was trying on clothes in a dressing room once when my two-year-old announced, VERY LOUDLY, “Mommy, you have TWO nipples!”

    At least I don’t have three.