Sunday Brunch

Yesterday at church, Fiddledaddy did a switcheroo with the children between services. Children #2 and #3 still have the sniffles. So, I left after first service with the infested children strapped in the back seat.

A box of tissues between them.

Cailey was in charge of kleenex disbursement.

And since she has a deep and abiding aversion to anything coming out of her brother’s nasal cavity, the fact that she was in charge of his nose was not the best idea I’ve had in a while.

The backseat was a veritable booger war zone.

Let the record show that I’ll never sit back there ever again.

On the way home we stopped at the McDonalds drive-thru for a healthy and delicious brunch.

Where, much like the Cheer’s bar, they know me by name.

I ordered the usual. Coffee for me (thank you, Jesus, for McDonald’s coffee), chicken nuggets for Cailey, and Apple Dippers (hold the dip) and a dollar double cheese burger for Jensen.

But hold the bun. And cheese. And all condiments.

Because of the allergies, you know. And for whatever reason, God chose to bless me with the miracle that McDonald’s burgers (plain) don’t send him into an itching fit. I’ll never figure that one out.

I got the order and checked it. “I’m sorry, but the burger cannot have cheese or a bun. I need just the meat, please.”

Blink. Blink.

“Um, okay.” And the bag disappeared into the window again.

A few minutes later, after a line of about 25 cars formed behind us, the bag reappeared. I received it into the car, and drove away. Thinking most certainly the meat was alone. Without the benefit of a bun or cheese.

When I got a good distance down the road, I found that I was wrong. The burger not only had the company of a bun and cheese, but an onion was thrown in for good measure.

I did what any good self respecting mother would do.

I ate it.

And distracted the son with, “LOOK! APPLE DIPPERS! FROM A REAL APPLE!” And there were additional promises of a bowl of delicious Rice Chex when we arrived at home.

In the interest of full disclosure, I will tell you that I’m not a regular consumer of the McDonald’s Cheeseburger. Unless I’ve only had one measly 4 oz. container of Dannon Low Fat Yogurt for breakfast. And even with licking the container completely clean, it just is never enough.

Therefore, I will tell you that the Dollar Double Cheeseburger was delightful. All two bites that it took to eat it.

And also, let it be known that I desperately need to go back on Phase One of the South Beach diet. Because right now? I’m hovering between Phase 12 and 13. And the Double Cheeseburger may have pushed me over the edge.

Anyhoo. Jensen never missed the burger. Mainly because his father (on whom the sun rises and sets and who rules his little world) stopped after church and got him a double cheese burger after learning that the mother of Jensen hoovered her son’s lunch. Of course Fiddledaddy ordered it with no bun. Or cheese. Or condiments.

And btw, it was a different McDonalds and they got it all wrong too. He just stayed and made sure the little man’s order was correct the second time. AND it arrived home intact.

So, Fiddledaddy once again is Jensen’s hero. He’s a daddy’s boy, through and through. But I’m not bitter at all.

I mean, after all, I got to carry him for 9 months. And birth him, even after the epidural wore off. And then there was the breast feeding. Which just the thought of still makes me double over and cry.

But that’s okay. At least I got a Double Cheeseburger out of the deal. And an onion. All I need now is a glass of whine. 🙂

December 1, 2008

12 Responses to Sunday Brunch

  • Okay, I just at a Big Mac last week for the first time in 5 years. Not worth it. I did South Beach, went really well until I gave myself a break and never got back on the wagon. A year ago? And why are us moms up this late blogging? I need to get to bed!

  • Note to self: Should a certain mini-van registered to a certain Fiddle Family appear in the Auto Trader, do NOT purchase…at least without a full decontamination of the back seat.

  • Katy,

    I’m happy to report that the offense did not occur in the mommy van. But rather, we were taking a ride in the “baby car” (Jensen’s term for Daddy’s Prius).

    Teeheeheehee.

  • I know exactly what you mean about phase 1 of South Beach. I lost 20 pounds doing that, but needless to say, I have gained it back 🙁 I just wish I could make myself do it again…

  • Boogers and burgers.

    Good stuff.

  • I am going to proudly raise my hand up and say that I am also known by name in the McD’s down the road from me. They checked on my growing belly each time I drove/ate in. Those dollar double cheeseburgers are so delicious! I actually can eat about 2 in a sitting.

  • So glad I found your website! You are hysterical! I will be stalking you…I mean, your blog, from now on! 🙂

  • Can you just order two meat patties? I mean instead of saying “double cheeseburger”. Would that clear things up at all? When Dan was doing Atkins some years back, he’d drive through and get just meat patties. (ICK!)

  • My husband is on a first name basis with the nice folks at our local McDonald’s…which tells you that we frequent that place a little too much. In fact, one time my husband (with all the kids in the van) saw one of the workers walking to work and he stopped and picked them up. What’s up with that?!

  • Right now I’m having to look for a fat camp that will only let me lick the food pictures as I can’t seem to control myself. Sigh

  • No, you cannot just ask for 2 meat patties, because there is no button for that, so they can’t do anything without a button. I feel your pain sister- Our McDs record is 5 tries, before the manager had to go do it herself. Burger King DOES have a button!

  • And if you do order just the meat patties, without saying “double cheese burger” you get charged more!!

    BTW, my baby is jealous of Jensen–all she can eat at McD’s is dry salad with no dressing or tomato. Not even the apples! My cheeseburger days are over. Forever, I think, unless these allergies go away.