Yesterday at church, Fiddledaddy did a switcheroo with the children between services. Children #2 and #3 still have the sniffles. So, I left after first service with the infested children strapped in the back seat.
A box of tissues between them.
Cailey was in charge of kleenex disbursement.
And since she has a deep and abiding aversion to anything coming out of her brother’s nasal cavity, the fact that she was in charge of his nose was not the best idea I’ve had in a while.
The backseat was a veritable booger war zone.
Let the record show that I’ll never sit back there ever again.
On the way home we stopped at the McDonalds drive-thru for a healthy and delicious brunch.
Where, much like the Cheer’s bar, they know me by name.
I ordered the usual. Coffee for me (thank you, Jesus, for McDonald’s coffee), chicken nuggets for Cailey, and Apple Dippers (hold the dip) and a dollar double cheese burger for Jensen.
But hold the bun. And cheese. And all condiments.
Because of the allergies, you know. And for whatever reason, God chose to bless me with the miracle that McDonald’s burgers (plain) don’t send him into an itching fit. I’ll never figure that one out.
I got the order and checked it. “I’m sorry, but the burger cannot have cheese or a bun. I need just the meat, please.”
“Um, okay.” And the bag disappeared into the window again.
A few minutes later, after a line of about 25 cars formed behind us, the bag reappeared. I received it into the car, and drove away. Thinking most certainly the meat was alone. Without the benefit of a bun or cheese.
When I got a good distance down the road, I found that I was wrong. The burger not only had the company of a bun and cheese, but an onion was thrown in for good measure.
I did what any good self respecting mother would do.
I ate it.
And distracted the son with, “LOOK! APPLE DIPPERS! FROM A REAL APPLE!” And there were additional promises of a bowl of delicious Rice Chex when we arrived at home.
In the interest of full disclosure, I will tell you that I’m not a regular consumer of the McDonald’s Cheeseburger. Unless I’ve only had one measly 4 oz. container of Dannon Low Fat Yogurt for breakfast. And even with licking the container completely clean, it just is never enough.
Therefore, I will tell you that the Dollar Double Cheeseburger was delightful. All two bites that it took to eat it.
And also, let it be known that I desperately need to go back on Phase One of the South Beach diet. Because right now? I’m hovering between Phase 12 and 13. And the Double Cheeseburger may have pushed me over the edge.
Anyhoo. Jensen never missed the burger. Mainly because his father (on whom the sun rises and sets and who rules his little world) stopped after church and got him a double cheese burger after learning that the mother of Jensen hoovered her son’s lunch. Of course Fiddledaddy ordered it with no bun. Or cheese. Or condiments.
And btw, it was a different McDonalds and they got it all wrong too. He just stayed and made sure the little man’s order was correct the second time. AND it arrived home intact.
So, Fiddledaddy once again is Jensen’s hero. He’s a daddy’s boy, through and through. But I’m not bitter at all.
I mean, after all, I got to carry him for 9 months. And birth him, even after the epidural wore off. And then there was the breast feeding. Which just the thought of still makes me double over and cry.
But that’s okay. At least I got a Double Cheeseburger out of the deal. And an onion. All I need now is a glass of whine. 🙂