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Pressed Between the Pages of My Mind

(Warning: if your gross out threshold is a tad low today, avert your eyes, my friends. Avert your eyes.)

A few weeks ago, I climbed into the passenger side of the van, and Fiddledaddy went around to take the steering wheel as we prepared for a family outing.

If a trip to Wal•Mart counts as a family outing.

I heard him exclaim that a frog had been smashed when someone last closed the driver’s side door. And it was still there. Intact.

“COOL!” Everyone jumped out to ogle pay their respects to the flattened frog.

Everyone except me, that is.

I don’t have to remind you how I feel about frogs. I don’t want to look at ‘em. Dead or alive.

No amount of begging would remove me from the passenger seat. I wasn’t looking. Out of sight. Out of mind.  I stared ahead, singing my happy song in my head, to drown out the descriptive conversation.

I asked my family to take pity on me and scrape it off so that I would NEVER have to see it.

Ingrates that they are, they refused.

And so the flat frog remained.

I’ve continued to chauffeur my children around God’s green earth. I’ve just chosen to avert my eyes every time I open the van door.

But then, I downloaded some pictures from my camera the other day.

Evidently, Fiddledaddy borrowed my camera.

Now do you see what I have to deal with here?

It’s just wrong, I tell you. Wrong.

30 Responses to Pressed Between the Pages of My Mind

  • Oh my gosh. That is both horrifying and hilarious at the same time. I am oddly fascinated. LOL

  • I have to admit I love frogs, but that right there is very wrong indeed!

  • It might be wrong, but I have to admit the picture is kind of cool…….

  • oh my gosh! You didn’t say it was bad!! eww

  • Ewwwwwwwwww!

    Poor froggie!

  • “Fiddledaddy borrowed my camera.” Evidently [smile].


  • You’re right – borrowing your camera and not telling you that was on there was wrong….. funny, but wrong! Maybe he’s helping you face your fears?! Gotta admit, I’m with Melanie – that pic is really cool! Perfect smashage!

  • When I was in HS a frog jumped up just as I was driving over him. When I went back to my car, I could see little froggy legs hanging down from where he’d lodged himself. And yes, I found the nearest boy, who I’d happened to have a 2 yr feud with, and begged him to remove it. He must have sensed the desperation, because he obliged.

  • DeeDee,

    I feel for you! No one should have to endure this kind of “torture!”

    Laurie (who has been grossed out many times with three sons. . . )

  • It is actually odd that my mind goes right past the dead frog…….right to the part that your van whatever part that is….seems to be very clean. What is up with that. You have as many kids as I do and that part of your van is clean. I am truly impressed! 🙂

  • And I was just about to have lunch…

  • I am sorry that I laughed uncontrollably about this…I am sure it was wrong to laugh but I could help myself. I mean, you worked so hard to NOT look at that poor smashed froggie and then your sweet husband did something like that. ROFLOL!!!

    Apparently he doesn’t realize that payback is a…well, you know.

  • Nasty! Reminds me of when my DH put a toad in the tub with my three sons. They thought it was a grand ol’ time and have tried to recreate it! It’s on my blog.

  • EWWWWWWWW Yuck but interesting! Lol Your husband has a great sense of humor!

  • Ewwww. My husband knows I would poison his food if he did something like that. But it’s totally something my BIL would do. Thank goodness we are no where near Florida, let alone East Armpit.
    (There aren’t Air Force bases near you are there?!)

  • (this photo was in NO way paid for or sponsored or condoned by anyone currently typing this comment. That my story and I’m sticking to it.)

  • EEEEWWWWWW! Fiddledaddy is MEAN!

  • How long has it been on there? It looks kind of like a fossil.

  • Oh my. That is so incredibly disgusting and I’m still laughing. Ewwwww…..

  • Yuck. My eyes, my eyes!

    This made me laugh, though, because I have a similar story. One year a frog had the misfortune to decide that the top of an open window in the kitchen was a good place to hang out. Until the window closed. All that could be seen was a little froggy head and two little froggy feet peeking out the top of the window. And it stayed there. For TWO YEARS. It grossed me out every time I went outside. It stuck to the window when it got opened. I’d ask my hubby if he could PLEASE take care of the “darn frog.” It didn’t take long for my 3 yr old son to start calling it the “darn frog” too.

    Finally, Hubs took care of the “darn frog.” But we still laugh about it. Er, he does. I gag a little.

  • I’m saying this calls for revenge cuz that is just low!

    Make Fiddledaddy do a lesson on dissecting a frog with the girls. Hey half the work is done as it looks like it’s minus all it’s fluids.
    What’s that? I can’t hear you over all the gagging noises. 😉

  • Bless his dried out heart.

  • I love that you count a trip to Walmart as a family outing. Us too. Throw Target in there and it’s better than a day to Disney! Just kidding, but almost true. :0)


  • OK, I haven’t laughed that hard in a little while. I have my own gross frog story… When we were in Hawaii a year ago, everywhere we went there were dried up, flattened dead frogs. For some reason, in February on Kauii all the frogs come up out of the water and dry up and die. They apparently prefer paths where tons of people are trying to walk. Sick, I tell you!

    On another note, my sister Roxx and I went to a leadership camp when we were in high schoo and the whole theme was about “kissing frogs.” Since then, we have both collected frogs. I don’t have time here, but someday, we’ll (more likely she) will have to do a post on that.

    Thanks for the laugh!

  • Oh my goodness – that is sooo gross but hilarious too! 🙂

    I wanted to let you know that because you have provided me (and my hubby) with so many much-needed laughs, I have nominated you as “Funniest Blog” over at the Homeschool Blog Awards.

    You deserve to win!


  • I could totally puke just looking at it. =(

  • OH MY GOSH. That is the hardest I’ve laughed in days.

    (And 15 years ago, that would’ve grossed me out. Now I’m a mom of boys. My first thought was “cool!” I’m EVOLVING.)