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New Digs for My Old Dawgs

The last time I bought a pair of sneakers was just after Emme was born.

Nine years ago.

So, those old shoes have seen more than any pair of sneakers ought to have been privy to.

I remember when I bought them, I balked at the price. I told Fiddledaddy and the nice man at the Reebok Outlet that I never pay more than $10.00 for a pair of shoes.

It’s not that I’m cheap.


I guess it is that I’m cheap. But Fiddledaddy and Mr. Reebok assured me that I would get good use out of them, what with all the training for the triathlon that I would likely be doing. You know, to lose those unwanted pregnancy pounds.

Yeah. That Triathlon would be called MOTHERHOOD.

I’d say that indeed, I’ve gotten my moneys worth out of those sneakers. Which can officially no longer be called Sneakers. Since very little sneaking is happening.

My comfortable old Reeboks have developed a rather audible SQUEAK that squawks every time I step on the right shoe. It sounds very much like I’m passing wind. Enough so that people are likely to turn and stare when I breeze by in a crowded store.

Which really doesn’t bother me anymore, but my children are horrified.

Time to get mama some new shoes. It’s not that I don’t enjoy embarrassing my children. Because I do. I’ve waited a long time, and endured much hardship to get to this point.

But the tread is completely gone off of the old faithful Squeakers, and I was afraid that I was going to end up on my backside, staring up at the ceiling of Wal•Mart.

On Sunday, after church, I took my girls out for lunch and shoe shopping. It was fair to say that I wasn’t going to get much help from the pimply faced shoe salesman in the black and white striped umpire shirt. After staring at 3 walls of shoes, I finally asked for help. “Uh, I dunno. Uh, do you run?”

“Only when being chased.”

Cue the crickets.

“Uh, well, I guess then that you need the training shoes.” At which point he pointed back to the running shoes.

Dude. Training shoes. Would that be sort of like training wheels? Training bra? Prepare me for the next step.

I thanked him. And went in search of my own sneakers.

Interestingly I learned that I am no longer a petite size 7 shoe. No. My feet have ballooned into a size 8 AND A HALF. That extra HALF is what really did me in.

I blame it all on 3 pregnancies and 2 bunions.

Nevertheless, I trotted away with some sweet New Balance Trainers. Now, I’m quiet as a mouse.

Clearly, I will be in need of new ways to embarrass my children in public.

Oh the possibilities. They are endless.

9 Responses to New Digs for My Old Dawgs

  • I heart my New Balance tennies.

    And, BTW, I’d love to totally swipe the line about the triathlon called motherhood. I have three children, I know whereof you speak. And you were clearly given that line from God above b/c it’s golden, my friend, golden.

  • I find that playing Frank Sinatra or Tony Bennett in the car and/or pretending to dance while waiting for the light to turn green never fails to embarrass my 13-year-old. Extra points if the windows are open. ADDITIONAL extra points if a passerby starts to dance along with you while walking down the street (she didn’t forget THAT one for months).

  • Wendy – that was probably me high-fiveing you on the boulevard!

    I boogie down the aisles at the grocery. Especially fun when that lone dad, concentrating his “list”, looks up and then around for the escape hatch.

    When I want my kids to behave? Mime YMCA. Just the Y, baby!

  • I need some new tennis shoes.

    One thing that I enjoy doing to the chips is to sing with the songs that are playing in Stuffmart over the speakers….giggle.

  • What I would give to be a size 8.5…I’m a kangaroo-footed thing at a size 11.

    I have always had horrible feet problems and I HATE going shoe shopping.

    As far as embarrassing your kids, I’m sure you’ll think of something.

  • You know, there’s a technique to de-squeaking shoes. You take out the insole, then put a little talc or baby powder in the shoe, then replace the insole. That usually takes care of the squeak.

    As for embarrassing the children, sing loudly and out of key for no apparent reason 🙂

  • no picture of the shoes? you left us hanging!

  • LOL. I haven’t bought me a new pair of shoes in years. I like you wear them till they fall apart!

  • Funny, I sort of live for the moments of embarrassing my teenager.