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Learning Curve

Trish and I braved the muscle building class again. It has been two weeks since we last subjected ourselves to that type of torture. Frankly, because it has taken two weeks for our biceps, triceps, and all the rest of their friends to heal.

And just like one is likely to forget the pain of childbirth, and foolishly give it another go, we traipsed back to the scene of the crime. No pain. No gain. Blah, blah, blahhhhh.

One reason we endure this type of torture, is that we can leave our children in the care of really wonderful childcare providers. Right there at the gym. And the large play area is monitored so that we can check on them, without them seeing us.

Because children should be seen and not heard.

Oh, I could not keep from snickering as I typed that last sentence. If I had a nickel for every time I heard that growing up. Well. Okay, my parents never said it. But, probably should have. I’m quite sure that Ma Ingalls said it liberally.

That saying is the main reason I would like to invent a Plexiglas soundproof partition for my van. Between the drivers row and the cheap seats in the rear of the van.

Police cars have them. Mommy vans should as well.

Where was I?

Oh yes. Hell The gym.

After class, we drug our sweaty disheveled selves back to collect the children. Who were all having a marvelous time, frolicking with their cousins.

When we walked in, my young 4 year old nephew proudly announced to me, in a rather loud 4 year old voice, “AUNT DEEDEE, MY BWOTHER SHOWED JENSEN HOW TO DO A ARM FART!”

Because we all know that the best lessons are learned from our peers.

It was a proud parenting moment for Aunt Trish.

It made my day. Usually it’s my children saying something highly inappropriate. In public. Like Monday, when Jensen announced to Aunt Trish and everyone within earshot that his daddy taught him how to pee in a McDonalds cup.

Anyhoo, tonight I will sleep with the ice packs. And tomorrow, I’ll whine about how sore I am. As I type with my nose. Then, as the soreness subsides, I’ll go back. For more torture.

Because I never learn.

14 Responses to Learning Curve

  • Two weeks ago I taught my 4 year old (child #6) how to pee in a McDonald’s cup. And then I thought that if I could go back, I might ONLY adopt boys, because that was SO freakin’ handy! And if I can figure out how to get the girls to pee in one, I will NEVER stop on a road trip again!!! HAHAHAHAHA!


  • I’d love to say that I’m a non-learner too, but I remember too well. I’m like an elephant, large trunk and all. This kitchen painting stuff is reminding me that I need at least start walking. It’s shameful how sore I feel just from swinging a brush!

  • Oh, I hear you Shalee. i get a spasm from just unscrewing the cap on the wine bottle.


    You know, I jest. Sort of.

  • Do you know how many times I’ve longed for a vehicle with that glass partition? London taxis have them. Why don’t we?

  • Seriously, someone needs to invent the soundproof barrier for the minivan. I don’t go for the dvd player or the fancy interiors, but THAT I would shell out the dough for. To have a conversation in a normal tone and not in Pig Latin with my husband would be so nice.

    Also, we have three boys and always have an empty jar of some sort in the van for the emergency pee. Friends are appalled, but it just makes my life a little easier! I say, don’t knock it till you try it!

  • No kidding – every time we’ve bought a car I’ve asked for the limosine option, only to be greeted with the “Huh?” look from the salesperson. With only the roll of eyes that a true mom can muster (as my children crawl in and around us, pushing every button on the car) I oh-so-calmly explain that I MUST have the glass partition for my sanity, I mean, privacy. Not once have they installed it for me. Darn Toyota dealerships… they would make SO much money if only they knew…

  • What is it about boys and arm farts anyway? Mine think they are great and try to get me to try it. NOT!

  • If you get too sore, you could always drug yourself some more [smile].

    …sorry, I couldn’t let that one slide. Next time you may want to have dragged yourself out of the place, rather than just doping up and heading out. [innocent grin… don’t kill me!]


  • Taxis have that partition too, and I’m thinking you might get less judgmental looks if you were carting your kids around in a taxi rather than a cop car.

  • My husband and I sometimes “put up the shield” on the van and then we “can’t hear” anything that goes on in the back. The kids look at us like we’re crazy, but oh well, what else is new?

  • Okay, I am SO with you on the plexiglass thing. I would love one for my ‘Burban.

  • I am loving the mommy van window!!

    Funny post.

  • My husband wants to invent a “Cone of Silence” for our van. That way, when they’re killing each other, we won’t know.

  • Oh I am glad it was someone else’s children doing the inappropriate teaching of craziness. My 2 year old thought it would be funny to give the Sunday School helper (a teenage boy) a wedgie a couple months ago…Proud mom moment…