A Snake in the Hand

Because I’m not one to just let a subject die, I thought I’d update you all on the Plague O’ Frogs that has settled upon our house.

Much to my horror.

The morning after I reported the great frog takeover (you remember, millions of little tiny frogs covering my garage and door) I settled down on my front room couch. To gaze thoughtfully out the window, while drinking a giant mug of coffee. Contemplating the day ahead.

It was then that I noticed the grass was moving.

Or I’d had 3 too many cups of coffee.

I looked closer. The grass and accompanying bushes were all alive with tiny frogs. Emme had joined me, and when she discovered the takeover, she clapped her hands with glee.

PETS, MOM! HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS OF PETS!

If you’ll recall, Emme is the daughter who mourned the loss of a frog named “Sticky Legs.” He was murdered a good year and a half ago. To this day, she professes how much she still misses him. May he rest in peace.

Fiddledaddy, the more adventurous of this parenting team, told her to go put on play clothes, and get a cup to catch frogs. To her hearts content.

I looked at him, “Are you INSANE?

Ignoring me, he set about enabling his young daughter in her effort to catch a frog. Or four hundred.

Well. I washed my hands of the whole sordid mess. And sat stubbornly on my couch. Behind the safety of a closed window. Clutching yet another cup of coffee.

Until Fiddledaddy motioned for me to get the camera. “But, that would mean that I need to exit the door!” I yelled through the glass.

No one listened to me. As per usual.

Dutifully, I captured photographic evidence. Which I will now share with you.

Allrightythen.

Somehow, Fiddledaddy talked me into allowing 3 small frogs caged inside a baby food jar which would sit in the middle of the kitchen table for a few hours. For show and tell.

Which did wonders for my diet. I wanted nothing to do with food the entire time the frogs were in my house.

I may be on to a new weight loss secret.

Well. My frog problem may be on its way to being solved. The next morning, when I stumbled to my customary position on the front couch, this is what I saw.

I’ve never been so happy to see a snake before in my life. And people, he looked hungry. And like he had it in for the frog population.

Emme, however, fell down on the floor in a heap. “MY PETS! MY PETS!”

And so I wrapped my arms about her to give comfort.

Not really. I said something sensitive like, “Too bad. So sad.” And I laughed maniacally.  “And we’ll call him FANG,”  I snickered.

I then hid my satisfied smirk behind the giant mug of coffee.

Until Fiddledaddy reminded me that all those millions of little tiny frogs are going to grow into large bulbous toads.

At which time, you’ll be reading about my untimely demise in the morning newspaper. Unless, of course, I can find a hungry boa constrictor. To keep as an outdoor pet.

Which will only lead to more frog blog fodder. And so it goes. Just a warning.

September 18, 2008

25 Responses to A Snake in the Hand

  • Once printed out for my maniacal enjoyment , er, perusal, I knew this was worthy of sneaking into the office to reply. On my way to an allowed potty break, you understand.

    Anywho.

    I’m sure you can think of all the wicked things going through my brain about this.

    And knwo that I’m rooting for the quick demise of the snake.

    Cause, I love you.

    I want to make sure you have LOTS of blog fodder to write when they lock you away with one of those pretty white jackets.

    You’re welcome.

    Back to bed.

  • I would be so horrified. I’m speechless just thinking about it.

  • Maybe your next home should be in a high rise. Last time–the higher up you go, the harder it is to find creepy crawlie hoppy things.

  • Sorry, I would take a hundred frogs over a snake anyday!

  • hmmm. some type of tree frog. and that snake? not sure. maybe a vine snake, the way it’s in the tree? very cool. make sure you keep water with the frogs or they’ll get dried out. they need moisture.

  • Okay, I don’t mind frogs (unless they’re in my bathtub) but that many would REALLY make my skin hop, er, crawl. And the snake? Do name him Fang. 🙂 What’s the point of having kids if we can’t mess with them a little??? 🙂

  • I am scared to death of snakes. Any kind of snake. Even rubber snakes make me scream.

  • I like frogs okay; I’ll even run to catch them to show my daughter. HOWEVER, I think that many tiny frogs all over the place would definitely give me the willies.

    The snake population of Florida is probably getting fat & happy!

  • OK. Maybe having so many tiny little frogs that eat BUGS in my yard that I think my grass is walking would be a little freaky, but that picture of the snake made my skin crawl. One (5 foot long black snake) was in my garage this summer eating a helpless little baby bird. I will take a plauge of frogs over a snake ANY day! Yick!

  • I am afraid of all creatures big and small. You need to read my blog post on ‘The Little Green Creature’, it was quite an adventure for me.

  • It’s Edwina again, I forgot to give the name of my blog so you can check out
    “The Little Green Creature”
    http://thepicketfencecomeandpeakthrough.blogspot.com/

  • I could deal with 4,000 frogs.. but that snake.. no way! Oh my goodness. That creeps me out!!!!

  • O.K. I would totally be moving far, far away from that place…

  • M’kay….frogs I can handle. That many? Well, I don’t think I would like it so much, but that snake? Let’s just say if I saw it in person I might just have heart failure!

  • I’m going to go a completely different route and say that I absolutely love the new use for the Steak ‘N Shake cup! Lest you think I am totally insane, hubby is a district manager for SNS in Missouri. SNS is our life, it helps that it pays the bills.

  • Eeeeks! I would rather have lots and lots of frogs over one snake of any size. I can’t do snakes!

  • ICK! I am with you on the frogs! Although thats a pretty big snake (about to get much bigger I bet) and I am no fan of snakes at least if you lay in the grass with your kids he wont overtake your body! He wont even stick around if you have all the kids out!!

  • How close were you to the snake? I made my girls use the back door and walk all the way around the house to get to the car yesterday, because we saw the same snake in front of our front porch. Yikes! I sure didn’t take time to get his picture though! You, rock!

  • Death to all reptiles! I bet you’re feeling better cuz something died. 😉

    I hate snakes! What eats snakes? Now I’m wondering if the gators followed you home.

  • Asian beetle season has started at our house. They come by the thousands and live through the terrifying Minnesota winters until about February.

  • Here’s a solution to the frogs that doesn’t involve snakes: giant clown shoes.

  • deedee, i found your blog through google blogger. and i thought i would come and check it out. i got to the story about the frogs, and i couldn’t even go on. i H.A.T.E. frogs. seriously…hate. of all the creatures God created, frogs and toads could have been left out. i could only read to the line about the grass moving, and i turned to my little boys and said “i would die. really, i would.” just thinking of it, i shudder. violently. i can’t even imagine having that problem. i would not leave my house until they were gone. i could go on and on about that. but i’ll spare you!
    cute blog!!
    have a great day!

  • http://www.wyff4.com/family/17510078/detail.html

    I saw this news article and thought of you! How is your frog situation going?

  • I totally need to stick a frozen frog on the ice cream carton in the freezer. THAT might keep me away.

    And in unrelated news, has the whole bloggy world bugged you about twittering yet? 🙂

  • Love the frog fodder. Can’t get enough frog fodder. Seriously, there has to be something appealing about living where you do, but all I think of is alligators and amphibians. Eek.