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Her Spot on the Food Chain

Fiddledaddy was out of town on business last week. The first night he was gone, Cailey came to visit me in the middle of dark thirty. “I had a bad dream…” Not waiting for a lengthy description, I escorted her back to her own bed in a hurry. Because that’s the kind of caring mom that I am.

Cailey is a well known bed hog. No matter how large my bed may be, I knew I would end up on the floor. And there’s just not enough Tylenol in the world to warrant that.

The next night, this scenario was repeated. Except that this time, I just let her crawl into bed with me. I was just too groggy to assure that I wouldn’t accidentally push her out the front door. In my sleepy stupor, of course.

As I began to drift off to blessed sleep, I heard a stage whisper, “MOM! What’s that on the ceiling.” Without opening my eyes, “The ceiling fan.” “NO. Besides that.” I reached over and flipped on the light for her to see that NOTHING was on the ceiling. Save for a few spider webs. And dust bunnies.

How do dust bunnies get on the ceiling? That’s what I want to know.

“Oh.” She replied, as I flipped off the light.

A few more minutes passed.

“MOM! It’s dark in here, can I open the bathroom door and turn on the light?”

“No. It’s suppose to be dark. It’s the law.”


After a little while longer, I could feel her get out of bed and pad across the room, clutching her Zoe doll and pink pillow.

“Where are you going?”

“Back to my room. It’s too scary in here.”

My master plan.

The next morning, she revealed the subject of her frightening nightmare. “I dreamed that a cow was eating me.”

Interesting. Since she’s really not a meat eater. She has more to fear from the chicken population. But, I kept my thoughts to myself.

Tonight I served Pizza. Which by all accounts should spell a good nights sleep. And if that works. Cereal is on the menu for tomorrow.

My parenting book will be out next year some time.

12 Responses to Her Spot on the Food Chain

  • We had two little “marenights” at our house last night. Thankfully they both occured before 10:00 and no adults were awakened by them!

    Aidan had “bad thoughts” about a movie scene involving “Duck the Ripper”.

    Toby had a nighmare that “a mice” was biting his shoulder.

    We reminded them both that God is with them and that they should think about the verses they know. Then we shooshed them back to bed!

  • DeeDee-

    I seriously think you need a guest spot on the SuperNanny.

    Yes, M’am.

  • You totally crack me up! [laughing!]


  • My DD will not push me out of bed. Instead she will pick you to death. I think that it is just so that she subconsciencely reafirms that you are there, but how can you possibly sleep with someone picking at you.

    I don’t blame you one bit fot the back to bed routine or giving up to exaustion. This isn’t the philsophy of having chidlren. This is the down and dirty survival tactics employed in the trenchs. It could make for a best seller.

  • For the record, you are not alone in the “Sorry, now go back to your own bed and leave me alone” stellar parenting method. I’d not only buy your book, but I’d write the forward, too. You’re welcome.

  • From the age of two to six, my daughter regularly tried to crawl into bed with us. We had a king size, but it just wasn’t big enough. The child would flail about in her sleep and I’d end up with bruises all over if I was too sleepy to put her back to bed.

    I would so buy your book if I was a young mom!

  • well my stellar parenting move at this point is to point them out my door….more mornings than not i find one or more asleep on the sectional in the living room that is adjacent to my room

  • I never let my kids sleep in bed with me either! I just can’t sleep with kids flailing beside me.

    A few times I gave in because Katie looked so darn cute and pathetic, but I didn’t sleep. I just enjoyed looking at her. And then, twenty minutes later, I carried her to her own bed again.

    I guess I’m a mean mother, too!

    Visit To Love, Honor and Vacuum today!

  • I know you have a gillion readers but I still left you an I love your blog award! I love reading you!

  • LOL!!

    Good move mama!!