Baby Ruth, You Are Dead To Me

Me, my MIL Natalie, Tiff, her mama Lydia, niece Katie, Trish, and Cathy. (2 SIL’s were out of town)

I complain an awful lot about living in Alligatoralley, Florida. But, I have to say, a great big huge bonus to living here, is Fiddledaddy’s family. I am blessed to be close to my MIL, and 5 sisters. They are actually sisters-in-law, but, to me, they are my sisters. I heart every one of them.

Last weekend, I attended a baby shower for one such SIL. She will most likely be the last of all of us to give birth. Knock wood. Crossing my eyes. And praying for menopause.

Trish hosted at her house. We had a “tea” party. No children allowed. And believe me, my girls tried to hide themselves in my pockets to attend. I searched the car thoroughly for stowaways. When they were over at Aunt Trish’s earlier in the week, and caught sight of the delicate tea cups, and CANDY BARS, MOM, SHE GOT CANDY BARS.

Well. They are my offspring. You can’t blame them.

But the candy bars? Not so much for public consumption, but rather for a cruel party game.

I sat around the table with women that I know very very well. And laughed until I nearly needed to change clothes. There was food. And tea. And games. Let it be known that we’re all rather competitive during games. Especially the MIL. She’s not above cheating. I’m just sayin’.

I gave it my all during each and every party game. The drawing of the baby on a paper plate poised on top of my head, plus other games that involved thinking and paper and pen. But, since there were no cocktails offered, my game playing was seriously hampered.

Finally, Trish introduced a game that I would most certainly excel at. We had to determine the maker of 5 different candy bars. Without the aid of a wrapper.

AT LAST! BRING ON THE CHOCOLATE. If I can’t have a cocktail, at least give me some chocolate. It’s the sporting thing to do.  And believe me, I know my way around a candy bar.

She presented us with a platter of 5 baby diapers. Fresh out of the microwave. With a candy bar contained therein.

You get the picture.

We were to pass the diapers around, and using our keen sense of smell and taste, write down the correct guess.

I opened the first diaper and began with the dry heaves and gagging. I tried people, I really did. I sniffed. And even tasted one. Or two, as it were. But all the choking and reflux were a deterrent. I got not ONE of them right.

My niece, the skinny nurse with no children, got them all right. I’m so happy for her.

I could barely go back to the feeding trough for my 5th helping of food. But, I forced myself.

And as a parting gift? Trish gave each of us a Godiva Chocolate Bar. I accepted it reluctantly and shoved it into my purse. “You know, you’ve ruined my love of all things chocolate,” I glared at her.

Because I’m not one to be ungrateful for a gift candy bar, the wrapper now lays empty at the bottom of my purse.

Any other favorite baby shower games? Not that I’m planning one, mind you.

September 5, 2008

15 Responses to Baby Ruth, You Are Dead To Me

  • Oh I love that game. I did that one at a shower once and had too much fun.

    Steph

  • I recently threw my daughter a baby shower where most of the guests were from her church.

    I don’t go to church and her father(my ex) has apparently told these people some very untrue stories about me so I, of course, had to have some fun with them.

    Just before I announced the buffet was ready I told them we were going to play a game to see who got to get in line first. Then I pulled out a bathroom scale.

    Told them everyone would have to weigh in and the one that weighed the most got to go first.
    You could just see the “non-christian” thoughts that were going through their heads at that moment. All directed at me.
    I gave it a few seconds to sink in and then I asked them to line up with their purses so we could see who had the heaviest one.
    The laughter was awesome and I think I finally convinced a few of them that I’m not the heathen b**ch my ex makes me out to be.

    Some of them even came over to tell me how much fun they had.

  • Oh my word. What a cruel thing to do with chocolate. I mean, it’s CHOCOLATE people.

    Have some respect.

    Just focus on the plague of frogs coming each time you have to change a diaper.

    It will help.

    Cause throwing up on the baby?

    Years of expensive therapy.

    Not worth it. You have a house to remodel.

    Love you fiendish stalker friend.

    Let’s talk after I recoup M’kay?

  • I love the one where you unwrap baby food jars, and make the guests guess what food it is.

  • We played that game at my baby shower for my son. I think my favorite game was the paper plate game. Everyone had to hold a paper plate on the top of their heads and draw a picture of what the baby would look like. Oh boy, do you know how hard it is to even draw a simply face on top of your head. All the pictures look like aliens.

  • At my first baby shower, we played Bobbing for Nipples (bottle nipples people, bottle nipples!). It was a coed party and we wanted something for the guys, so we put a bunch of bottle nipples in a cooler filled with water . . . and some floating mini Baby Ruth bars, just for good measure 😉

  • Okay, that is just gross.
    I love chocolate.
    It took me a while to even figure out what you meant. I thought you meant eating candy bars with little diapers on them at first (which was gross, but a lesser evil, I am sure) I am not sure if that game is even legal in our state.
    Sounds like a fun party. When does women plus food plus games plus no kids NOT equal fun, though!

  • I love the game where everyone gets an unwrapped, unchewed piece of soft bubble gum (think Bubblicious-type). You have to form it into a “baby” shape without looking. Talk about alien babies!!

  • We were just talking about such games yesterday. Why do stories of baby showers remind me of Jr. High camp tales?

    ~Luke

  • I totally rock the clothes pin game. Where everyone gets a clothes pin when they walk in the door and if you catch someone saying the word “baby” then you get to claim their pin. The key is to watch the newbies who say, “Oh you said baby!” all excited. Then you bust them and, bamm, two pins for the work of one!

  • This post is actually a timely tip for me, as I’ll probably be giving a shower for someone for the first time in years. Weird. So thanks.

  • I’ve got a great one that is a memory-matching game and there is a candy bar awarded that matches each word pair (i.e. the word “breastfeeding” would get Milky Way, “twins” would get Mike & Ike, etc.) Very fun, and everyone goes home with a candy bar!

  • See, now, I love that game! It is way harder than I thought it would be, but still fun! But after 7 kids, and 19 years of poopy diapers, they don’t phase me anymore. Plus, I am the oldest of 6 kids, so it never really phased me.
    I like making pacifiers out of lifesaver candy and jelly beans and making them into necklaces. Then forbid the word “baby” and if you catch someone saying it, you take their pacifier away. The person with the most paci’s wins! (I don’t win)

  • Hey Dee Dee, I love your blog! I just wanted to let you know!
    I hope it’s ok, but I listed your blog on my list of daily reads on my blog, ok????

  • Thank the LORD I’m done with babies, but I can’t wait for the next baby shower I help with to play THAT GAME!!!!