I Was Taken by Surprise, by a Pair of Beady Eyes

When we were experiencing hurricane conditions, here in Puddlejump, Florida last week, my good friend Kelli wrote to remind me that with a little rain, the frog plague would likely return.

I hadn’t thought of that scenario. Canoeing down to Publix for toilet paper and tampons, sure, I’d thought of that. But not the frogs.

I thanked her profusely for the reminder.

If you’ll recall, I devoted an entire category on my blog to my fear and loathing of the frog population. A population that has been gunning for me for the last year or so.

Yesterday, I hopped in the van to run errands. And as I pulled away, a frog landed on the windshield. Nearly causing me to have a Depends moment. We stared at each other, beady eye to beady eye. He wasn’t budging. He was determined to stick there, obstructing my view.

So, I did what anyone who respects life, even that of a frog, would do. I turned on the windshield wipers. With a windshield wiper washer chaser.

Worked like a charm.

I’d like to tell you that I really feel for the wildlife that have been affected by the flooding.

I’d like to.

My SIL called me last week, after the waters began to recede. She said that as she was driving, she saw a fish flopping around on the road.

I still can’t get that visual out of my head. And I also haven’t been able to cook fish for dinner, either.

Then, I heard on the news that an alligator was spotted walking (slithering, crawling, whatever) down the middle of a residential street. Not far from my house.

Allrightythen.

Last Monday, I attended a meeting for our homeschool group. As I was leaving, I glanced over at the small water reserve, next to the church.

Four eyes stared at us from just atop the water. We must have looked tasty, because they raised their heads up and simultaneously licked their scaly lips.

Alligators. Two of ‘em.

Check please.

Somehow, I fear that the frogs will be the least of my worries.

August 29, 2008

28 Responses to I Was Taken by Surprise, by a Pair of Beady Eyes

  • Now is the time to hole up in the house for ohhhh…a month or so and wait the wildlife out.

    Send the man out to fight off the beasties.

  • Bless you for frogs, floods, flooring, gators…what is next? Locusts?

    I think you should join with your neighbors to build a community ark for your Publix trips! That will keep them from focusing on your yard so much.

  • The first piece of advice that anyone gave me after I moved to FL was this:

    “If you are chased by an alligator, run in a zig-zag. Everyone knows alligators can’t corner.”

    All righty then.

    I should have known instantly that FL and I were not going to get along very well 🙂

    Good luck – thinking of you!

  • Alligators. *shudder*

    I thought of you the other day when I saw that hulu.com is offering this movie.
    http://www.hulu.com/frogs
    You probably don’t want to click that link.

  • I’d invite you to spend the fall up here in the north, but last night DH BROUGHT HOME ON PURPOSE a ginormous toad. Do they count as frogs???

  • I grew up in Ft. Myers. One day my mom received a phone call from a neighbor, “Keep the kids in the house; there’s a 12 ft. alligator walking down our street.” Evidently his grand-baby was swimming in the FGCU pool this week – http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26440387/

  • Being the good friend I am, I won’t sat Itoldyouso. OK?

    And please, watch out for those alligators.

    No Peter Pan moments.

    M’kay?

  • Run! Run as fast as you can! Zig-Zag style of course.

  • My husband says that nothing has ever made him want to own a gun until he met an alligator with no fence between them. My husband is a gentle, kind man, but he gets all gruff and tough when in the presence of an alligator. Hates ’em. I agree. They’re ooky.

  • I’m thinking I like that Colorado doesn’t have so much crazy, water-loving, swampy-type wildlife! Love the wiper thang – nice move. 😀

  • shudder… it is quickly becoming my belief that snakes and alligators are pretty much only good as purses, wallets, and belts… a reptilian lover I am not!

  • I’m thinking you may want to do a mass exodus a bit farther north at least to escape the plague.

    My boys were big time into Crocodile Hunter and I squirmed through every episode. I’m with Sally! Alligator purse anyone?

  • noooooo thank you!

  • Whenever I am in Florida and have to drive on one of the roads with the canals right up beside them, I am always petrified to think I might have to swerve into them. And then the alligators will come.

    Gah!

  • As long as those beady eyed ‘gators don’t land on your windshield.
    I dare say your wipers would bend.
    And I heard windex just makes ’em mad.
    So.
    Good luck with that.

  • After Ivan, my friend found a hermit crab in her house WEEKS later. They had ripped out the carpet, cleaned everything. I don’t know where he was hiding.

    We were on the phone and she calmly said,”Can you hold on a minute? I have a crab in my closet.”

  • I feel your pain. Check out this video that my neighbor took of the 10’3″ gator that was captured on our street Monday. My yard is in the background.

    http://www.myfoxtampabay.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail?contentId=7281036&version=1&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=VSTY&pageId=1.1.1

  • Are you in Egypt? Cause I am thinkin’ locusts could be next.

  • Smoooooth move with the wipers…right before I read that, my first thought was admittedly “Hit the wipers, baby!” Lo and behold…you did.

    I too, am glad that I live in Colorado – a state entirely lacking in scary reptilian swamp creatures.

    But chock full of rattlesnakes… I don’t really know if that’s a fair trade or not.

  • I’m waiting for Gustav to switch course and head directly toward Armpit.

  • Maybe the alligators will eat the frogs!

    You always make me smile. Thanks for the laugh!!

  • EEwww, I know I would have had a Depends moment with alligators walking around.

    Great move with the frog!

    And I thought I was going crazy with the flies up here in the Midwest. I’ll take the flies anyday.

    Stay safe.

  • I am a frog loather myself, but I must tell you, reading about your froggy encounter was just slap-your-mama dadgum hilarious!! Thanks for the great laugh!!

  • Alligator boots, handbag and suitcase. Do I need to say more? We are praying for you down there in Armpit, FL. during this hurricane season. Would you consider buying a boat? Are you gonna’ need one?

  • Frogs over alligators any day. In fact, almost anything over alligators any day, wouldn’t you say? I cannot for the life of me figure why God had to make these things. Oh my gosh, the goose pimple. I’m grateful for spiders in my Indiana corn at this point.

  • Hey, I didn’t see alligator traps in the Hurricane Preparedness Kit! (You might consider hitting him over the head with the extra batteries and tying him up with all that caution tape.) Phew… one more thing to purchase before Hurricane Whichever hits!

  • My mom was called out to help with the FEMA efforts. I think I’ll give her a call about watching for beady eyes… no matter where they send her.

  • I once had a mouse land on my windshield when I was driving. It scurried under the hood. To say I was freaking out would be an understatement.

    But gators are a whole other story. Yikes, and again, I say yikes.