The Fiddle Report

I’ve gotten a number of e-mails from you all checking on me. You cannot know how much I appreciate you.

I’m fine. Really. The house is in disarray, but we’re one of the really lucky ones. Very minimal damage, and I’ll save that for a “real” post this week.

I think most of my silence has stemmed from a rather severe case of melancholia. I just made that up. It sounds so much more glamorous than d-e-p-r-e-s-s-i-o-n.

There’s no good reason. At all. I’m very blessed, because we’re all healthy. And together. Which is why I’m embarrassed to even say anything. But, I know y’all go through this too. And the stupid thing is, that when we feel backed into a sad corner, we just hide. I know I do. The last thing I do is reach out and talk to someone about it.

So, I’m talking. Which is step one toward pulling myself up by my bootstraps. I’ll have more to say later. Probably much more. Just warning you.

For now, I wanted to let you know that I’m okiedokie. And thank you for being there.

My sister-in-law, Sue, sent this to me this morning. I thought it was beautiful and wanted to share it with you.

Just Stay

(author unknown)

A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside.

‘Your son is here,’ she said to the old man.

She had to repeat the words several times before the patient’s eyes opened.

Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man’s limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement.

The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed. All through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man’s hand and offering him words of love and strength. Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile.

He refused. Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital – the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients.

Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night.

Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do, h e waited.

Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her.

‘Who was that man?’ he asked.

The nurse was startled, ‘He was your father,’ she answered.

‘No, he wasn’t,’ the Marine replied. ‘I never saw him before in my life.’

‘Then why didn’t you say something when I took you to him?’

‘I knew right away there had been a mistake,

but I also knew he needed his son, and his
son just wasn’t here.

When I realized that he was too sick to tell

whether or not I was his son,

knowing how much he needed me, I stayed.’

The next time someone needs you … just be there. Stay.

August 27, 2008

22 Responses to The Fiddle Report

  • (wipes eyes, blows nose) Sometimes there are no words to make things better. If you polled how many of us are going through a hard time right now you would be surprised. You’re not alone DeeDee.
    There doesn’t have to be a reason for feeling down. Life keeps coming at me so fast that it’s like I can’t catch my breath. Why does that sound like labor??

    I was reading Ruth today. It was part of a bible study. It was asking if we are in a gleaning season of just picking up the leftovers to survive. Or if we were taking care of Naomi with few friends – do we want to give up saying I can’t take it anymore! It said take heart because we are in the company of Ruth who was in the lineage of Christ.
    Whatever season we find ourselves in God is doing something new.

    Been praying for you – don’t always know what to say but know that you’re covered in prayer. 🙂

  • Wow…that really hits hard today. My mom has been in a nursing home for the past 19 months. My kids and I go and visit almost everyday. My 6 yo daughter has absolutely no fear of this place or anyone there. She walks up and down the halls everyday and stops to speak to 6 or so of her ‘friends’. Three of her ‘friends’ have died in the 19 months that my mom has lived there. When I am tempted to ask God why mom is suffering so much, He reminds me of the servant’s heart he is molding in my daughter…then I am able to see a glimpse into the ‘why’ of it all.

    Thanks for sharing this today…it’s just what I needed.

  • I’m sorry to hear that you’re having a hard time. I’ve struggled with depression a few times in my life and know how hard it is to reach out. How easy it is to just hide. Keep reaching out… We’ll stay… even when we don’t know what to say.

  • Those storms are always depressing. If you have damage, you are sad. If you don’t, you have survivor’s guilt. Not to mention being trapped inside the house for days. Take care!

  • DeeDee, You’ve been on my mind lately. I truly believe that when God gives us a thought or action, we need to follow through on it. We will not always know if we make a difference but God will honor that. Thank you for your ‘story’ today. It really spoke to my heart. hope you see your rainbow soon.

  • I’m glad to hear that you are all physically fine. I trust that emotionally/mentally you will be fine too, in time. Thanks for sharing the truth about where you are right now.

  • I’ve struggled with depression off and on for many years. I’ve found that good quality, research grade St. John’s Wort, which is an herb, works wonderfully for me. Especially in that gray area where you’re way more melancholy than you feel like you should be, but you’re not exactly what you would call depressed.

    What I like about it is that it doesn’t prevent you from having feelings or make you feel disconnected. It just takes the edge off. I get my SJW through HBC Protocols. http://www.hbcprotocols.com/products-HV280.html

    SJW also has the added benefit of being a natural anti-viral, so you end up getting colds and flus less when you’re on it.

  • WOW! I didn’t see that one coming…or the ensuing tears.

    I just want to encourage you to STAY at HIS side. Sometimes it’s merely the knowledge of His Presence that makes all the difference in the world. He never leaves or forsakes us, but we have a tendancy to wander…stupid little sheep that we are!

  • Dee, That’s the sucky thing about depression. There is no good reason at all. Just know that there are thousands upon thousands of us out here that struggle with it too. We feel your pain, sister. Hang in there.

    Corey
    http://www.watchingthewaters.wordpress.com
    http://www.getoffthecouchwaters.blogspot.com

  • DeeDee, (that’s my mom’s name by the way) I usually just lurk around your site – you make me laugh often… just wanted to say that I appreciate you being honest about the depression thing. I have never dealt with it before, but the last two weeks have had the first shocks of real depression in my life – I have no answers, no reasons, I am blessed beyond measure – but my heart just hurts more than I can describe – for no “real” reason…

    I get it- I am praying for you- I don’t like to talk about it either.

  • You don’t know me like I know you; I’ve been reading your blog for years. Just want to say that I care and have been there too. God bless!

  • Feelin’ the blues here, too. Turn some music on, that seems to help me. (Cheery, though, not weepy.)

  • Well shoot. Coke just doesn’t taste the same with salty tears in it. And yes, Coke is part of the downward spiral of sugar laden snacks I’ve been devouring.

    A colicky baby who’s up 8 times a night is a sure-shootin’ way to end up in a depression.

    I hear you. I feel you. I get you. One day at a time, sweets. Take care.

  • I know I don’t really leave you comments, but today your heart really spoke to me. Hang in there. The storms may have passed your house by, but as women we often endure them in our hearts – and thank God to you for having the courage to talk about that. You are loved and your blog touches more than you will ever know. God is using even your pain to help others.

    You’re in my prayers.

    Angie
    http://www.moresugarthanspice.com

  • Hey sis,

    I’ve been thinking about all of you, but haven’t had the time to write what with moving, again, and all.

    Maybe we need to spend some quality time on the phone.

    I’ll send you the new number when it’s set up. For now? I’m phoneless.

    SO that stinks.

    But, know I’m here, praying and hugging you from afar.

    In my disarrayed house.

    See? so much to talk about.

    xoxoxoxoooooooooooooooo

  • Feeling it right along with you, DeeDee. Unfortunately, there are no “time-outs” or “halftimes” for us moms – we just keep our game face on and play the best we can through the pain.

    Hugs to you and know there are a LOT of folks saying prayers for you and you can include me as one of ’em. 🙂

  • I will definetly be praying for you – may God just saturate your soul with His presence! Sunshine

  • Praying for you, my friend.

  • Oh I can so relate – I have so much to be joyful for and about so where’s the joy?

    Praying the sunlight and the SonShine will come out from behind the clouds and begin to brighten and bring the joy.

  • Sniff, sniff. What a beautiful story. Yes, I’ve fallen into melancholia of late. But so often it is about perspective. And truly, we are also blessed beyond measure.

    It’s a new day. Time to move on. Blessings to you! 😀