The Wind Beneath My Trash Can Lid

I should have sensed pending trouble. I took the trash out this morning, and noticed that only one lonely bag sat in front of a neighbor’s house. No one else put out their trash cans, or recycling bins. Suckers, I thought, trash collection was not canceled in our county. Braving a little drizzle, I deposited the giant trash receptacle on the curb. With a matching recycling bin. And scurried back inside.

I felt rather smug as I heard the giant trash compacter driving down our street. Pausing just once in front of our house.

A bit more time passed, and the weather was picking up steam. Quite a bit of steam, in fact.

So much so that I saw a cow blow by the window. Okay, it was really a bird, attempting to fly in the opposite direction of the wind. And failing miserably.

It seems we’re experiencing a Tropical “System.” A hurricane wannabe. It made landfall on the west side of Florida. And was expected to head up the center of the state, giving us over here in east Armpit, Florida, just a little extra rain.

Instead, Tropical Storm Fay, chose to veer right. And strengthen. Which is highly unusual, as the storm systems generally weaken when they make landfall.

What luck.

As an aside, I would like to say that all Tropical Storms and Hurricanes should just be named after the fairer sex. Because of the propensity to do exactly the opposite of what is expected. I’m not being sexist. It is a woman’s prerogative to change her mind.

For example, I wasn’t going to add that last observation. But then I did. So there.

Back to my saga.

I heard the trash can hit the side of our van. I raced outside in bare feet to stop it from taking off for parts unknown. Trashcan’s trusty sidekick, The Lid, went in the opposite direction. Divide and conquer. A clever ruse, but it didn’t work. With lightning fast agility, I managed to wrangle Trash can, The Lid, and Recycle Bin, all before they hightailed it to the next county.

We have had tornado warnings all afternoon, and I was able to spend some quality time with 3 high strung children hunkered down in the hall. Covered by one lame baby crib mattress. And a few pillows. Wishing I drank wine.

When the coast was clear once again, Emme decided to “decorate” the hall so that it would be more cozy. In case we had to live there for any length of time.

When she finished, and I looked around the corner, I saw that their rooms had been emptied of all priceless treasures. And no one was able to walk down the hall.

Which in my estimation, made the hall even more of a danger than, say, the oversized window of the Family Room.

The smiling newscasters are all saying that Tropical System Fay should be over Fiddledeedee’s house some time around 1 AM. Okay, they didn’t actually use my name, but they may as well have.

It’s just nature’s way of getting even about all the disparaging comments I make about living in the sunshine state.

Tropical System Fay is then expected to move out to sea, turn into a Category 1 Hurricane, turn around, and hit Florida again.

A mom’s life can be kind of like that. If you’re not chasing down trash can lids, you’re beating your wings against wind. Waiting for the next blow. Hoping the windswept look will come back in vogue.

We just weather the storms. And appreciate the rainbows.

August 20, 2008

18 Responses to The Wind Beneath My Trash Can Lid

  • Since you are the only one I “know” in Florida, all this talk of Fay on the news has had me thinking of you for several days wondering if it was coming to your area. I’ve been praying for you and your family.
    Many Blessings,
    Holly@aiminghigh

  • Amen and Amen.

    Please stay safe.

  • I also live in the sunshine state (East coast) We were pounded last night and should get a bit more rain until Monday. Gotta love the weather. ^^ Stay safe!

  • Thank you for the reminder–must call my baby brother who lives right in the new path.

  • Thanks for the reminder not to put out my trash! I’ll be praying that Fay moves her little ‘ol self out to the Atlantic and stays there… instead of coming west and hitting not only you (again!) but the other side of FL where I live with my own three little ones… in the bedroom closet… my husband absent since he has to fly the precious military planes out of harms way! (We call it Operation Abandon Family) 🙂 Think I’d better stock up on wine too… you know, just in case!

  • Humor me a bit here. Did everyone not put their garbage out because they were afraid of it flying down the road in a hurriacane? I live in MN. We don’t worry about that type of thing. 🙂 Our worries are more along the lines of our garbage freezing solid and the garbage man not being able to shake it out of the can. 🙂

  • I wondered if you were in the line of the hurricance. I have family in Florida, and have been praying for all of you. Please, keep us updated so we know you are okay.

  • hey stay safe…i will say a prayer for you and your family

  • Been wondering about you. We’re praying for the house of Fiddle.

    I just said that marriage is a lot of weathering storms. I think motherhood is survivng hurricanes!

    Make sure you save the oreos!

  • I have been reading your blog for awhile but have never left a comment. After this post I just can’t resist anymore! My friend, Brianna, recommended I check out your blog because it she said it would make me laugh…Oh my! She was’t wrong and you never disappoint! This story is HILARIOUS!!!

  • D2, you’ve out D’d yourself on this one. Funny, lovely post.

  • I like your observations about motherhood… so true! Best wishes to you guys as you deal with the yucky weather! Stay safe.

  • It’s amazing how much motherhood is so much like a weather “system”.

    Thanks for the laughs!!

    In all seriousness, stay safe!!

    For the love of humanity, please don’t hunker down in that hall!

  • Stir crazy yet ?!? Hope you’re dry and sane. Thank you for the laughs. We used our crib mattresses to act out the U.S. Olympic gymnastic routines. Perfect 10 every time (:

  • If mothering is a hurricane, I believe I’m a Cat-3 today. My bangs are airborne.

    Maybe you could chase my four-year-old while he screams if I chase your trash can lid?

  • Appreciating rainbows…

    I need to do more of that. I think. Yes, yes I do.

    Thanks for the reminder. 🙂

  • That is priceless. I’m so glad you saved your trash. You wouldn’t want other people to see it, after all.

    Why is it that children love to create forts constantly? If it’s not in your hall, it’s in the living room, or the laundry room, or in the closet under the stairs that they’re scared to go into if you tell them to go get the mop, but they’re just fine to go into if they’re accompanied by pillows and blankets.

    I guess they’re just trying to create some space that’s “theirs” in this house that their parents own. But it sure does make it hard to walk around sometimes!

    Visit To Love, Honor and Vacuum today!