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Jumping Beans

Not long ago, I was uncustomarily whining about how we were trapped indoors most of the time. Because, here in Turkeywaddle, Florida, it’s a balmy 145 degrees in the shade. And, it seems, that my son is allergic to grass. And air. Not to mention most of the major food groups.

But, I’m not one to complain.


In the comments section, Christy from After a Cup of Coffee suggested that I get a mini-trampoline so that Junior could burn off a little energy. Indoors. Thus saving my chandeliers and priceless family heirlooms from the destruction caused by a housebound toddler. With a thirst for violence.

(Dear Potential Burglars, I really don’t have any chandeliers, or priceless family heirlooms. I do, however, have a gift of exaggeration. And really taut abs.)

Just so you know, Fiddledaddy reads all of your comments. How do I know? Because the day of that post, he wandered through the house, and seeing Jensen hanging upside-down from the armoire, he mentioned that we might want to follow that commenter’s suggestion and get a mini-trampoline.

And then, my friends, he went on to order not one, not two, but three mini-trampolines. One for each child. Their own little trampoline. After doing his research, he determined that Walmart.com had the best prices. And they have site to store shipping, so we don’t have to pay shipping costs.

Which is really fortunate, because a trip to the ER can be a little pricey. So I hear. And it’s nice to save a penny wherever I can.

He went to pick them up today. He had me helping assist him in the general assembly, while he warned the children to stand way way back. Because the instructions warned of “moderate to severe injury/ or death” could occur if not assembled correctly.

Causing Cailey to quip, “Mom, I hope you’re not going to get damaged.”

Too late.

No one was killed during the assembly process, I’m happy to report. And within a few minutes, I had three children bouncing on each of their respective mini-trampolines. In my family room.

And by the way, my beloved leather furniture looks terrific on the lawn.

On a positive note, since the floor is no longer visible, vacuuming will even more infrequent.

Just for sport, I even commandeered a trampoline. And discovered that my bladder and kidney haven’t quite recovered from the 40 plus pounds I gained with each pregnancy. And gravity is no longer my friend.

The bouncing of the children continued throughout the afternoon, and picked up after dinner.

Note to self: impose a 30 minute waiting period after pizza is consumed. Just sayin’.

The children were all asleep within minutes of collapsing into bed. Which may be the only time I’ll have to bounce until my hearts content. Or I lose bladder control. Whichever comes first.

So, thank you Christy for giving Fiddledaddy the idea. And thank you Fiddledaddy for not listening to me.

And thank you Depends, for a very fine product.

28 Responses to Jumping Beans

  • Now I know how to get out of vacuuming.

    Thanks! giggle

  • LOL glad it worked though.

  • Go, Fiddledaddy!

  • FUNNY. (As usual.)

    But seriously, I’ve come thisclose to getting my kids a tramp (outside; there is NO room for a mini one anywhere in this house) – with a safety net, oh yes ma’am – just to aid in the burning energy department.

  • Now that’s a brilliant idea and I’m glad it seems to be working for you. Less destruction – check. Less vaccumming – check. More sleeping – check.

    Couldn’t get much better!

  • That sounds more contained than my husband’s choice to get the children to burn off energy — running laps through our rambler. There’s a circle through the kitchen and living room, and he’ll set them going and start counting. They run at full tilt, and once did 100 laps. While I gasped at every corner waiting for one to dive into the dining table. Fun.

  • We have one of those! And Whirling Dervish loves it.

    Personally, I haven’t found a bra sufficient enough to cope with the added strain that trampoline jumping causes. Hence, no trampoline jumping for me. But it is fun!

  • A word of warning, my little brother broke his ankle when he came down wrong on the edge of one of those–which is why I refused his old when my mom offered it, even though my son dives off the back of our poor, red damask couch, and jumps on it repeatedly, even when I ask him to stop–hmm, maybe I should ask for it after all.

  • You are absolutely hilarious! I too had to invest in a trampoline for my 5 year old Olympic gymnast! It has been a complete life saver! I will mention that the other day she asked if we could put a mirror on the wall so she could “watch” her self do all her tricks. Some of her tricks I dont even want to watch and I made my dh weight down the trampoline for when she is “flipping”!!!!!!

    Good luck

  • hahahahahhahaha too funny!!!!!!!

  • I love this part most “I do, however, have a gift of exaggeration. And really taut abs.”

  • Oh, I’m laughing over here. And as one midlife mom to another, I hear you on that bladder thing! You couldn’t pay me to get on a trampoline.

  • I had the same Depends moment. Caught on video tape.

  • LOL!!

    Good idea though on the burning energy. . . maybe that’s what my “busy” two year old needs.

    Then again, maybe not.

  • Ever see a watering hose on a setting that does the click-a-click thing? Yeah that was my bladder on a trampoline. Wasn’t too bad until I hit the rapid fire mode. I lurv me all things absorbent! 🙂

    Hope the trampolines are the beginning of a beautiful relationship. Relax – it’s no different than them jumping off the couch. Just be on the look out for when it’s off the table onto the trampoline to bounce onto the couch. It’s the stunts that send my heart racing.

  • Great post. So funny.

  • I have a mini-tramp and my kids love it! It is a great energy burner.

  • I hear trampolining is an Olympic sport. Maybe they can start training now.

  • Oh my goodness! I have to say you have THE best blog I have EVER read.
    My son (Jacob 9) is also allergic to dust, mold, pollens, nuts, beans, and soy. So I know what it is like.
    I also homeschool so it is a delight to find your blog . God bless

  • …..nothing like a little leakage to make you feel old……sounds like much fun, well, with your kids is going on over there!

  • We have one of those giant ones outside and my 3 little punks LOVE that thing! Even in the rain they love it, however we do live in WA state so we don’t get to enjoy 145 degree balmy days, we usually enjoy 55 degree, and when it hits 60 the shorts come out exposing the pasty pale legs of us northwesterners, and the tops on the convertibles come down. hilarious.

    check out my blog when you get a chance, I have a news article I was in! there is a link on the page. 🙂 love your blog as always!

  • We love ours! We’ve had it for about a month now. And I find it to be a wonderful mini-break between school subjects. (Ok-write one more sentence and then you can go jump 50 times…but take the grapes out of your mouth.)

    Not to mention it makes a great coffee table.

  • Can’t wait till you do your tutorial on repairing drywall….then your hubby will be really glad he bought these. Three mini tramps, gotta love it.:)

  • Okay, I am so very glad my husband does not have time to read blogs because he would want trampolines in the house, too. I’m a party pooper.
    I like the part about them falling to sleep so quickly though. That I could work with. I really could.

  • Oh my I needed that laugh. What a great post, but the last line cracked me up!!

    Thanks again and God bless. I think I may try one of those trampolines now.

  • Just this week I learned the hard way that trampolines weren’t a good idea for women who have given birth… especially those who have full bladders. Oops.

  • We have bounced a many miles on our mini trampoline. Fun post. I have not visited you often, but I think I will change that! 🙂

  • I laugh EVERY time I come to your site! Just sayin’ 🙂