Pointless Post with a Side of Ice Cream

Fiddledaddy was awfully amused at the fact that his wife isn’t the only woman who is derelict in her oven cleaning duties. Although, he hastened to add, “You seem to win the award for going the longest amount of time without lifting a finger to clean the oven.” I’m paraphrasing. And embellishing.

Indeed. Nine years. Really? No one can top that?

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I ventured into Wal•Mart today to purchase ice cream for a sick 6 year old. She’s been unable to swallow anything all day, but she thought that she might be persuaded to choke down some party cake confetti ice cream. Which is basically just a carton of sugar with sprinkles added to make it pretty.

But, I totally understand her need.

I had Emme and Jensen with me. Jensen was trapped in his stroller, because he refused to be wrangled into the shopping cart. And wrestle him I did. Right there in the parking lot. You might have seen it on the news. In the end, he won, and I gently placed him in the stroller.

Remember, he is able to deftly escape from said stroller, whenever I pause too long. I had control of the stroller, and Emme commandeered the shopping cart. Taking great care not to mow down too many senior citizens. Since we were there for ice cream, I decided that I might as well get all the grocery shopping done.

Because the stupid stick is never far from where I’m standing.

We raced through the store at breakneck speed. Whereas, when I’m alone, I like to shop at the speed of smell. We quickly zipped through the girl’s department to eye underdrawers and such, and as we continued, I noticed that Jensen had done a little shopping of his own. Unbeknownst to me. After receiving more than a few disapproving glances, I peered over the stroller to see my young son holding a hanger, with a little girl bra dangling from his pointer finger. And he wore a wide grin on his 3 year old face.

His sister was mortified.

His father will be so proud.

Note to self: investigate military academy. Again.

At about this time I received a text from his father with a request for Rocky Road Ice Cream. Yes, I have joined this century, and have acquired the ability to text.

Although, it just bugs me when I can’t punctuate correctly, or use caps where needed. As you might imagine, it takes me forever to type in a short sentence, like, “Your son is fingering the little girl lingerie.”

So, I gave up. He’ll read about it on the blog.

Needless to say, I served ice cream for dinner. And I just had some for dessert. I’ll let you all know when I find my metabolism again.

I believe it’s stashed in the same vicinity as my sanity.

19 Responses to Pointless Post with a Side of Ice Cream

  • Oh my… “I understand her need”… “military academy”…”stupid stick”… somehow I think you and I live in a parallel universe! Oh wait, that’s called motherhood! (And don’t you just LOVE those disapproving stares from people who obviously NEVER had children or WERE children themselves?)

    Gotta go eat some ice cream now! 🙂

  • I too was fooled by the term “self-cleaning”. After years of avoiding it (years more than you did, btw), I found it was easier to buy a new oven.

  • Ha! Very funny story. Isn’t shopping with the wee ones a joy. It’s particularly fun when they start brawling in the race-car shopping cart. Glad there was ice-cream for a reward.

  • You can tell your husband I’ve never cleaned an oven in my life – I try to move before it becomes necessary (j/k but only kind of…)

  • I can’t punctuate either! Drives me so crazy that I quit texting. My kids (23 and24) just luurve to get text messages from me, however. They howl with laughter at my lack of speed, punctuation and understanding of language shortcuts. Oh, LOL already.

  • This one cracked me up for sure. I think “stupid stick” can surely sum up some choices that I make when choosing to attempt an outing with my nearly 3 year old. Who knows the kinds of things I will experience when my child has siblings and I become outnumbered! Better call in for more ice cream and chocolate, and coffee. Oh yeah – might as well get Starbucks Java Chip ice cream and hit all three!! Yum!! Ever tried it?

  • Maybe you should take away his hip-hop CDs.

  • Ice cream for dinner sounds like my kind of meal! Hope your girl is feeling better soon!

  • You always give me a good laugh! It took me a minute to figure out what stick in the store you were trying to avoid..then it hit me..oh like the ugly stick! You crack me up. Have a great day!
    Angela

  • ! I’m proud. Jensen is the facking man. [smile]

    ~Luke

  • Wait till you go through the lingerie aisle and your sons start giving you advice on which bras you should wear. “Hey mom! I think you should get this!” – in their loudest voice and of course it’s always some cute racy bra. Gotta love ’em.

  • Love the stupid stick. It follows me around.

  • LOL. You’re very brave to go shopping with Jensen. Oh, and I don’t even know how to send text message. You’re way ahead of me!

  • What a blessing! I sometimes look round at all the competent, organized, well-manicured, thin home schooling moms in my home school group, with their well-mannered children who would never climb up on the back of someone else’s couch to jump off, and feel alone in the world.

  • This really made me laugh – i love you used “stupid stick”! I say that a lot these days… and you are still very brave to grocery shop with the kids. I wait until they go to bed and my husband is home so I can go all by myself! No matter what, or else it is impossible…

  • “Because the stupid stick is never far from where I’m standing.”

    Oh, my. I have to remember that one. Can I borrow it? I can think of a time or two when that very phrase would have been appropriate. I’ll spare you the details, just trust me.

  • You crack me up! I think our boys must be from the same pea pod.

  • You’re supposed to clean your OVEN???

    I honestly can’t remember the last time I cleaned an oven. Probably not nine years because we have moved and I’m sure I had to leave it clean, but it was a self-cleaning oven.

  • LOL!! That stupid stick must be a traveling stupid stick, because it’s here as well.

    Cleaning the oven has always been a frightening thought to me, so I just don’t.