(part two, continued from yesterday)
I boarded the plane, and took my rightful seat in the back of the plane. Had I been on the fateful “Lost” flight, I would have been a “tailee.” But, wouldn’t have lasted more than an episode, because Anna Lucia would have hit me over the head with a stick because of all the whining.
I wouldn’t be popular on a deserted island. One that lacked proper bathroom facilities. And Oreos. Which is why I’ve never submitted that tape to “Survivor.”
If you want peace and quiet when flying the friendly skies, then I’m your gal. It’s always a welcome opportunity for me to sit and think. Or, just sit.
I was one of the first in my row, back in the cheap seats. The seats that the flight attendants never get to with the requisite tomato juice and bag-o-peanuts if the flight is less than an hour long.
Though, I must say, that Delta is advertising some outstanding sounding mixed drinks these days. For the low low price of $5.00. There was something called a Mama Mia Margarita, and a Pomegranate Martini that tempted me.
However, I felt it would be in bad form to arrive home after a Christian conference sloshed.
I made myself comfortable. As comfortable as a sardine could be inside a metal can. I was in an aisle seat, in the middle. Across the aisle, and one row forward, I noticed a young man, perhaps in his early 20’s, craning his neck over the seats to search for, what I determined later, an audience. He was a chatty fellow. I sunk down into my seat, and busied myself with my homemade trail mix. Counting out the tiny pieces of chocolate.
Much to his delight, a family settled in to the two rows beside and behind him. His eyes lit up with anticipation. Fresh meat. He began acquainting himself with all about his row. And he had a voice that carried. Yes, he did. It was hard to tune him out, as I counted. One chocolate morsel, two chocolate morsels, three…
“I WORK AT DISNEY LAND. THE ORIGINAL PARK. NOT THE NEWER PARK. I’VE WORKED THERE FOR YEARS.”
He said the word “newer” with much disdain. And after a time, I gathered there was a heated rivalry between the cast members of the old and new parks.
The gentleman seated beside Mr. Disney looked over the back of his seat to his wife, and mouthed “help me.” She just chuckled, and shook her head, behind her copy of People Magazine. I surmised that he stuck the little woman with their two kids on either side of her, while he could enjoy a little peace one row up.
Mr. Disney talked nonstop about his meteoric rise up the ranks of corporate Disney. Beginning as a headed character, eventually landing a coveted position in management. It had become his job to “train” the freshman cast members in the ways of All Things Disney. And I’m certain that he was very good at his job and took it very seriously. He was quite the cheerleader for Disney Land.
I have to admit that I lost count of my raisins, because I was interested in everything Mr. Disney had to say. Being a bit of a Disney freak myself. When I lived in Los Angeles, I visited the park every opportunity I could. Though, I moved long before the “new and improved” park opened.
I remember distinctly riding the now defunct Submarine ride, and looking at all the underwater decor, thinking about how many eyes have seen this same exhibit, over the many years. (Probably why it has since closed.)
Mr. Disney talked long and loud the entire flight. At some point, I did drift off to my own dull thoughts, but was jolted awake by Mr. Disney’s next confession.
OH YES, THERE’S A RUMOR THAT THE HAUNTED MANSION IS REALLY HAUNTED. I’M NOT SURE. BUT. A SIDE STREET OFF OF MAIN STREET IS HAUNTED. I’M CERTAIN. BY WALT DISNEY HIMSELF. I’VE SEEN HIM. AND I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE. SCARED ME TO DEATH THE FIRST TIME…
“Ladies and gentlemen, make sure your seats and tray tables are in their full upright and lock positions. We are making our descent…”
SHUT UP ALREADY, I AM TRYING TO HEAR MR. DISNEY…
But it was too late. I missed the end of the story. I noticed everyone around Mr. Disney sat quietly, eyes wide, mouths agape. Even the little Misses in the seat behind her husband had leaned forward and was pressing her ear against the crack in the seat.
Not another word was spoken.
I’ve long suspected that Walt Disney walks the streets of Disney Land. The original park, not the new one. He wouldn’t be caught dead in the newer park. And as far as the Haunted Mansion goes, well, one time, I was there and I looked up in the foyer, and there before me was…