Airport, a blog story

When I was traveling a few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to spend a considerable amount of time in airports and on actual planes. You might think that I found this to be a not so very pleasurable way to spend my time.

You would be dead wrong.

I was in heaven, my friends. Airport heaven. I love airports. The sights, the sounds, the smell of the Cinnabon Stand (which I did not succumb, just so you know). I even loved the movie, Airport (circa 1975). The one that starred Helen Reddy as Sister Ruth, and a young guitar toting Linda Blair. Now, that was entertainment. Oh, and I can’t go into an airport without reliving pivolal scenes from Stephen King’s “The Langoliers.” Shudder.

Anyhoo.

I had a 6:00 flight out of Charlotte, but arrived at the airport at about 1:30. This was my first attempt at traveling with a laptop, so I became awfully adept at trolling for unused electrical outlets. In Charlotte, I found one, near an empty seat, next to a window ledge (which was just wide enough to hold my coffee) and I settled in for the long haul. Other computer dweebs sauntered by, eying my outlet, chair, and handy cup holder, but I wasn’t budging. Even with my teeny tiny bladder issues, nothing was going to make me give up my coveted seat.

And I sat and wrote. I wrote for hours. And when I tired of writing, I cleaned out my mailbox. And streamlined my documents file. And then dusted my computer screen. With my shirt. Because I’m a class act.

OH, TO SIT AND NOT HAVE TO ANSWER A MILLION QUESTIONS THAT START WITH, “MOM! WHAT HAPPENS IN CASE…(insert horrific pending incident)?” I didn’t have to fetch anything for anyone, or wipe a single bottom.

Although, when the gal sitting next to me bent over and exposed her soul, I considered stuffing my trash into her pants. To save my retinas, and avoid a trip to the trash receptacle, thusly losing my coveted seat.

Finally, the time came to see about boarding my plane. I stood up, and I tell you, I thought I was going to be picking carpet fiber out of my teeth, because my legs were completely asleep. I wobbled for a few moments, then with spaghetti legs, I set off for my actual gate. When I arrived, I noticed that my flight was going to Denver.

I’m sure Denver is nice this time of year, but I didn’t want to go there. The gate had moved. I had to employ my fast paced trot on still-tingling feet to make it to the flight and still have time to visit the ladies room before boarding. To, you know, freshen up and all.

A word of caution about wearing Crocs in the airport. It isn’t the escalators that will kill you, it’s the floor wax used in the airport. (And Wal•Mart, btw.) While I’m traveling at a pretty good clip, my Crocs would suddenly and inexplicably come to a full and complete stop. Without me.

To the folks in line at E-6, if you happened to have found my lost dignity, call Delta Lost & Found immediately. I miss it.

As luck would have it, the plane was delayed. And not one empty electrical outlet could I spy. At long last, we boarded the plane. And by happenstance, I sat close to a very interesting passenger. And eavesdropped overheard a conversation. A conversation that may or may not have included dead people. And Mickey Mouse ears.

To be continued…

22 Responses to Airport, a blog story

  • Hey girl! I love your blog…

    I just had to mentioned that my 11 yr old broke his big toe last wk kicking a PINE CONE…due to wearing Crocs. Our family truly does love Crocs and we all have them. However, I believe when the fat end of the Croc hit the road and stopped, his toe kept going and bent suddenly and hard. Thus breaking the big toe near the growth plate. I’m glad you fared better! Just a heads up… 😉

  • I think some of the best conversations are the ones you overhear…as my 6 yr old said yesterday “I like listening to grown ups talk”…I don’t think he means listening to grown ups talk to him – but the conversations between 2 or more adults that you don’t particularly want the kids to hear but they kind of are always around so they pick things up. The old adage “the walls have ears”.

  • You truly have a way with words — love your blog!!! Keep it up, and can’t wait to hear the conversation you overheard about Mickey Mouse dying or such!

  • Yea, I’ve actually decided NOT to wear my Crocs during this pregnancy due to “Croc stoppage” issues.

  • I’m tired of being chastised for eavesdropping on conversations when Scott and I are on dates. So THANK YOU for proving that it is good and healthy and may provide blog fodder!

  • Yet another reason not to buy Crocs — they are not only ugly, but dangeous.

    I’ll trade you your “I see dead people” travel companion to my “screaming spine liquifying screaming” for two solid hours screaming child . Did I mention there was screaming? For two hours. I wanted to see dead people.

  • I’ve never liked Crocs… I just can’t get into the bulky feet look.

    But score one for you on the outlet AND seat! Spaghetti legs would be worth that concession, as well as the excellent use of bladder control.

    I’ve got your dignity here. You can come claim it, but it will have to be in person. Don’t worry; I’ll find ways for us to lose it again. 🙂

  • About two years ago, I worked for my husband, part-time. At one point, I accompanied him and a couple of other co-workers to an industry conference.

    It was all very normal — even dry — for everyone else. But for me? I rode in an airplane and read a book. No one spilled their drink on me or asked to go to the bathroom. I got to sleep in a hotel bed until I had to get up. I didn’t have to eat my dinner with one hand while holding a squirming toddler in their highchair with the other.

    It was BLISS!

  • I have had the humiliating croc incident more times that I can count…!

    Can’t wait to hear about your conversation….

  • I truly enjoy reading your blog accounts and this post didnt’ let me down. I also like the airport. I probably could go there for a daytrip and just hang around. My hubby’s crocs are wearing out and he is slipping and sliding everywhere. Interesting conversation your neighbor was having!

  • I LOVE being in the airport – alone! As you say – not “Mom, mom, mom” blah blah blah every 30 seconds. And the People Watching is always interesting.

    So are the people who obviously travel all the time – the ones equipped with everything . . . like a super duper power hookup thingy with 8 outlets on it so they will NEVER be without that coveted outlet.

    Denver is beautiful this time of year – you shoulda stopped by 🙂

    Can’t wait to hear about dead Mickey! Well, at least Mickey’s ears.

  • Be careful with crocs and kids. My four year old just got a 2nd degree burn on his foot when a spark from a sparkler fell on his foot ( from someone else swinging it around) and the rubber melted through to his foot. We won’t be wearing those shoes anymore.

  • As I read your story all I could think of was “Oh, the glorious silence!” Maybe I should go sit in the airport every now and then.

  • eep! sounds like a blast minus your crocs taking off without you. 🙁

  • So if you love the Devil’s Playground (airports) so much, how can we be so simpatico? Did they steal your soul there, my friend? Is that why you proclaim to love the pit? I yearn to understand–from a distance.

  • I too share your love of airports, and miss them dearly! I was a flight attendant for Delta for 10 years, and I miss the people, the planes, and most of all the craziness… I quit flying when my second child was born, but I used to love some of those overheard airplane conversations!

  • I know!

    I went to a friend’s wedding in April–alone. Because I didn’t have the kids, I took a connecting flight which saved me over $50, and gave me a few hours in between flights on the way home. I loved it. It was part of the vacation.

  • I don’t know what Meds you are on, DeeDee, but you are on some serious writing roll lately!!

    Good stuff!

  • What? Not even a hint??? Was Mickey offed? You know the little squeaker gots it coming. 😉

  • I just howled – this is good, funny blogging! I do appreciate the very fun approach you have to your life which we all can relate to.

    Thanks for all the laughter! 🙂

    Ms. Daisy (Jean)

  • hysterical.

    (also, I love airports too!!!)

  • Airports are one of my fave places. I love the smell of jet fuel and people watching.

    Too funny of an entry!