I had to make a difficult phone call today. Regarding a decision that has been weighing heavily on me. As y’all know, I’m scheduled to attend the She Speaks conference later this month. One facet of the conference that I have been excited about, was the ability to meet with two well respected writers agents and publishers. Two meetings were scheduled for me at the conference with a wonderful agent and publisher, both of whom were highly recommended by a good friend of mine who is a writer. A writer who has actually written, you know, BOOKS.
Which I’ve always thought would be the pinnacle of my writing. To write, you know, A BOOK.
Today, I made the final decision to cancel the meetings. And strangely, as disappointed as I am, a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. This isn’t my time. God has made that clear to me. I feel pulled in so many directions right now, and my children are at ages that they need me 110% of my day. And on top of that, Jensen’s severe food allergies have really knocked me on my keester. Nothing, though, that I can’t handle.
With a couple of Excedrin and a bottle of Port. Not necessarily in that order.
But, I know, that if I were working on a book proposal right now, my family would die a slow and painful death suffer. God is telling me to wait.
And as impatient as I am, I feel peace about that.
I’ve come close to even canceling my attendance at the conference. The closer it gets, the more I dread stepping out of my comfort zone. That is, out of my stretchy pants, and into some control top panty hose for my “business casual” look. (Not the ones, by the way, I wore over my head during a recent bout of temporary insanity most likely triggered by my menses.)
For me, business casual has meant I’m wearing matching sneakers, and yoga pants that don’t have old bubble gum residue on the rear end. It will be interesting to see what I come up with, for sure. I’ve been watching old episodes of “Dynasty”, so I think I’m actually getting a handle on it.
She Speaks is laying out the welcome mat for the bloggers this year, and I love that. Because if nothing else, I will be meeting other kindred spirits, and learning a thing or two about communicating my thoughts and stories to y’all.
I’m awfully proud to be a blogger. This is where God has me right now. For a reason. So that book proposal will just have to wait.
And I anxiously wait to see where God will lead me next. In His timing.