Closing Doors

I had to make a difficult phone call today. Regarding a decision that has been weighing heavily on me. As y’all know, I’m scheduled to attend the She Speaks conference later this month. One facet of the conference that I have been excited about, was the ability to meet with two well respected writers agents and publishers. Two meetings were scheduled for me at the conference with a wonderful agent and publisher, both of whom were highly recommended by a good friend of mine who is a writer. A writer who has actually written, you know, BOOKS.

Which I’ve always thought would be the pinnacle of my writing. To write, you know, A BOOK.

Today, I made the final decision to cancel the meetings. And strangely, as disappointed as I am, a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. This isn’t my time. God has made that clear to me. I feel pulled in so many directions right now, and my children are at ages that they need me 110% of my day. And on top of that, Jensen’s severe food allergies have really knocked me on my keester. Nothing, though, that I can’t handle.

With a couple of Excedrin and a bottle of Port. Not necessarily in that order.

But, I know, that if I were working on a book proposal right now, my family would die a slow and painful death suffer. God is telling me to wait.

And as impatient as I am, I feel peace about that.

I’ve come close to even canceling my attendance at the conference. The closer it gets, the more I dread stepping out of my comfort zone. That is, out of my stretchy pants, and into some control top panty hose for my “business casual” look. (Not the ones, by the way, I wore over my head during a recent bout of temporary insanity most likely triggered by my menses.)

For me, business casual has meant I’m wearing matching sneakers, and yoga pants that don’t have old bubble gum residue on the rear end. It will be interesting to see what I come up with, for sure. I’ve been watching old episodes of “Dynasty”, so I think I’m actually getting a handle on it.

She Speaks is laying out the welcome mat for the bloggers this year, and I love that. Because if nothing else, I will be meeting other kindred spirits, and learning a thing or two about communicating my thoughts and stories to y’all.

I’m awfully proud to be a blogger. This is where God has me right now. For a reason. So that book proposal will just have to wait.

And I anxiously wait to see where God will lead me next. In His timing.

June 11, 2008

33 Responses to Closing Doors

  • That is SO great that you recognize God’s gentle nudge in the direction HE wants you to take!

    Sometimes we don’t realize what we’ve done by being selfish until our family suffers.

    However, that being said…PLEASE do pursue your dream to write a book when the time is right!

  • Amen to everything Amand said.

    And I’ll add – have fun at the conference. Enjoy meeting those kindred spirits.

    monica

  • You’re smart to recognize the signs that it’s not your time. There are many people who would have pushed it anyway because it was what they wanted and not what God wanted.

  • I really needed to read this today, DeeDee. I was just lamenting the fact that I can’t possibly accomplish everything I want to accomplish this summer…and I felt God nudging me to consider what things are most important. Him. My husband. My children. Other things can wait for another season, if needed. Thank you for your example.

  • I know it was a decision that required much prayer and thought. How awesome to recognize the nudge that God was giving you to cancel. He even gave you peace about the decision. In His time this door will once again be opened to you and you will have your chance at your dream. But don’t give up!

  • DeeDee ~ I so admire the fact that you are heeding God’s voice and doing what He has for you at the moment–that which is best for your family. HOWEVER, please note that I will be first in line for your book…whenever it comes out!

  • I am so proud of you for following God’s will. It is so hard, I know, to submit to His will when you really want something. 🙂 It just so happens that today’s Bible verse on Bible Gateway.com is: “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” (Psalm 46:10)

    You are being a true example to us, and God will greatly bless you for it. 🙂

  • You are awesome, Dee! Have fun at the conference and I look forward to the day God does let you loose with His plans for the book!!!

  • God’s so smart! I love that about Him! I’m glad he’s got you here right now – you’re such an inspiration to me and all you have to do is read your comments to know I’m not the only one!

  • Obviously God has prodded your heart to listen to him. I’m so happy that your burden has been lifted by following his nudges. He’s good in so many ways.

    Although I am sorely sad that I’m not going to SheSpeaks, I too came to the decision that it just isn’t time for me yet. God has other things in store for me and I’ll just have to wait his timing to meet with everyone.

    Oh, and for the record, you were one of the women I was so hoping to meet. Kindred spirits is what I’m thinking, even if you do write way better than me. (You’ll love rooming with Antique Mommy. She doesn’t snore and she’s a fun breakfast person. But whatever you do, don’t almost fall asleep in her bed. Trust me. Just don’t.)

  • I’ve had on the back shelves of my dreams writing a book, too, but who knows when there will be time…but I was greatly encouraged to learn that a couple of my favorite writers (Laura Ingalls Wilder and Janette Oke) didn’t start writing til their later years. I figure — we’ll have more growth and maturity and more to say later on, so it all works out. 🙂 I am learning (and have been for years) that time with family goes so, so quickly — it is wise to focus on them.

  • Kudos to you for having the courage to recognize that the timing is not right! I’m sure your family appreciates it.

    We’ll all buy your book, whenever that time is 🙂

  • You’re right. You need to listen to God’s calling and not us annoying blogvillians that are always bugging you to write your book!

    I am patient and will continue to pray that God will let you know when it’s time. He knows best!

    Have fun at the conference DeeDee! Wish I could go and meet all you wonderful ladies!!!

  • I am so with you on this!
    You (and I) are in the right place at the right time! You (and I) will know when the time is right for the next step.
    Just stay in the “hearing place”.
    Have loads of fun at She Speaks, and take lots of notes for the rest of us 😉

  • All to often I can feel in my gut what God wishes for me but I push on regardless only to regret it earlier. I don’t know if it is my stubborness or my OCD tendencies that prevent me from stopping and following the path that He has chosen for me, but whatever the reason that is really an area that I struggle in. So good for you for recognizing the truly important things in your life right now and tending to those well instead of trying to do a ton of stuff half heartedly.

  • Yay for peace! It’s valuable. I’m glad you obeyed, and I’m glad you’re feeling happy about it, too. 🙂

  • PS> I needed to read this today. I’m also struggling with my time vs. God’s time (in issues besides writing). God just used you in my life. Thanks for obeying Him!

  • A book deal would mean little if your family suffers for it.

    Way to go, DeeDee. You have chosen wisely.

  • You are too comical! God’s timing is always perfect so trust in that and leave it all up to Him! See you @ She Speaks!

    The Mouth Behind the Moose,
    Heather T

  • I have been in similar situation (different decisions) but it is always with mixed feelings, but you do feel good knowing you are investing your time in a place that will make a difference in Eternity!

    And girl when they are in high school, and don’t want to hang around Mom…write your heart out. I will be first in line!

  • You have to go to she speaks – you’re rooming with AM! That should so be worth it and you will be without kids. 🙂

    DeeDee, we all love your writing and we know that when it’s your time you are so gonna rock it.

  • God bless. Rest in the assurance that you will be richly blessed through your obedience during this time. Your family is your first ministry and a precious one at that. Anticipate the miracles He will work in your life. 🙂

  • Book…schmook. Writing a book would have pulled you away from US! 😉

    So glad you have peace… isn’t that huge? God will bless your obedience and your desire to do what is best for your fam right now.

  • There will be time. His timing is part of His perfect will. Thanks for being so transparent in your struggle. We all need reminders about the seasons of a woman’s life.

  • I’ve so been there before. Not with a book but with other stuff. It is so hard for me to look at a situation and say, I could do that and do it well, but I won’t because it’s not what God wants right now.

    Good for you that you are listening and obeying. (I tell my kids to do that all the time.) You won’t regret it.

  • Everyone has pretty much said what I would have said, but as always, I wanted to add my two cents!

    A little more time may give you an even better perspective when you are writing that book than if you chose to write it now.

    If you offer a presale special on that book for loyal lurkers let me know! BG

  • Oh this looks like SO MUCH fun! I’d love to go but it’s too far away!!

    I always wondered if you were writing a book on the side, of blogging, because you write like an Author. Like one aunt of mine says though, “if you write, you are a writer” So I guess in a sense we are all Authors! 🙂

    To speak at this conference…I think you would do wonders! I LOVE your written words, don’t know how they sound spoken, and if it’s any consolation I try to tell everyone I meet about you and your comical stance on life! I really LOVE how uplifting you speak!!!

    There’s no walls that are built up here. So often, I’ll visit bloggers who have built up some sort of a wall keeping their authenticity at a stand still or worse yet at a crawl. I hate that!

    Thank-you for being EXCELLENT!

    We need more people like you in this world!!!

  • It’s sometimes really, really tough to do the right thing, isn’t it? When you want the other thing to be the right thing, but you know it isn’t? But the rewards are always sweeter than any dream we could conjure.

    I know your time is coming, and it’s going to be fabulous, not just for you but also for the rest of us girl bloggers. And I guess the boys, too, but really, who cares about them anyway?

    ok, ok. just kidding.

  • I needed to read this.

    I am still very new to blogging, and though I’ve dreamed of writing for so long, I know so little about writing professionally.

    I agonized over not working harder in the time up until the conference to “get my act together” so I could meet with professionals.

    But it’s really just not time. And I’m finding peace in that, too.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

    **H**

    Thanks.

  • Waiting on God’s timing is one of the hardest lessons I have ever had to learn. I’m in the middle of it right now, in fact. The “life lesson” homework often kicks my rear end and leaves me on my knees, permanently. But then I realize that’s where HE wants me.
    Thanks for the post. You will be an AWESOME author someday if that door opens again!
    OH- and if you get a chance, read 1 Samuel 1:22 where Hannah “did not go” and chose to enbrace God’s timing for her to stay home and spend time with her son. She had plenty of time to “go” later- this was God’s time for her to stay home. She knew it, did it, and was blessed immensely. Praying you will be blessed for your wise decision to invest in your precious children!!!

  • It takes a strong woman to do what you have done. God will reward you in His time. :>)

  • I was holding my breath hoping you weren’t going to say you canceled the entire thing. I totally get your relief, and I don’t have little kids, except in my head my 15 year-old baby is about 5. She’s OK with that. Not.

  • You are wise. You have your priorities in order. Unless you had cancelled altogether leaving me without my roomie. 🙂