Pretty as a Picture

Last week I had some important paperwork that required my undivided attention. Seldom is my attention ever undivided. But this job involved the use of math skills. And general level headedness. In other words, I couldn’t just put myself on autopilot, as usual. I had to think.

Autopilot is the reason I find my reading glasses in the vegetable bin of the refrigerator.

So, I needed to get rid of the children.

I asked the girls to keep Jensen occupied back in their rooms until I could finish. “Sure Mom!” And they all trotted happily down the hall, turned the corner, and were out of sight.

I grabbed a cup of coffee, and sat quietly for a moment, enjoying a moment of dread. You know, that minute just prior to digging into a task you really don’t want to do. And then I got to work.

As I was figuring, scribbling, and muttering, I could hear intermittent giggling from all three children, back in their rooms.

No cause for alarm.

Total silence is a reason to panic. Or blood curdling screams, followed by “I’M ON FIRE,” might give me pause. But, not intermittent giggling.

A few minutes later, the snickering drew closer. I looked up to see Jensen shuffling down the hall wearing his sister’s black lace pumps, clutching his Blues Clues blanket. Following him at close proximity were his personal designers, Mutt & Jeff.

My eyes went from the pumps northward. He was decked out in a blue floral, floor length sleeveless cotton dress. With a brown v-neck crop top. He sported silver hoop clip-on earrings, and other assorted gaudy jewelry. In his brown hair were two beaded barrettes and a lavender headband completed the ensemble.

His smile was radiant. He knew he was pretty. Of course I grabbed my camera and snapped a couple of pictures.  You know, for his baby scrapbook.  Or whatever.

And then, suddenly, I watched reality set in. The testosterone, of which he has an abundance, took over. He looked down in horror, and began clawing at his clothes. “DRESS OFF. DRESS OFF.”

I chastised the girls, while stifling a giggle. And got Jensen stripped down to his Elmo diaper. His usual favorite attire. And he ran down the hall squealing with glee. Still wearing the forgotten headband.

The pictures mysteriously disappeared from my camera after telling Fiddledaddy of the incident. So, there is no evidence.

Save for this post.

Which I will show him when he is a teenager. And I will then allow him a free pass to play the revenge card on two older sisters who may or may not be of dating age.

And I will lean back, in my barcalounger, sipping my Metamucil, and enjoy the show.

Yes, I think I’m going to enjoy them when they are teenagers.

April 30, 2008

20 Responses to Pretty as a Picture

  • I can’t believe he disappeared the photos! Actually, it just goes to show that he is a nice daddy, and I am a terrible mother, because I totally would have kept them for bribery purposes or purely and soley to add to the photo board at important events. 18 and 21st birthdays spring to mind. Graduation. Engagement…

  • Kati would do this to Jonathan when they were about 3 and 18 months. her fav outfit for him was a blue sleeveless sundress with yellow sunflowers adn trim.

    And a pink hat.

    That along with his chubby cheeks and bowl cut hair made him look just like a girl.

    Needless to say, those pictures are printed and put in a safe place.

    Awaiting the right moment…..

  • aw that is so cute!

    I use to love dressing my little cousin up, until my brother came a long. Then I dressed him up, apples and apron n’ all.

    what fun.

  • Oh… you MUST save the photographic evidence of these innocent childhood transgressions. what will you use for bribery/motivation/blackmail when they DO become teenagers?

    Im just impressed that you send your kids off to amuse each other. When I need some peace and quiet, unfortunately, that is when I deploy the 50-inch flat screen TV that we received as a Christmas gift last year from a rich,out-of-touch uncle…

  • Men! He was so wrong for deleting those! My husband would have done the same thing! LOL!

  • Oh, I also can’t believe he erased the pictures!!! Those would have been so fun and adorable later! 🙂

  • Oh that’s priceless! Too bad the visual evidence is gone. That was just too cute! And you’re right…it would probably have come in quite handy a few years from now.

    My husband wouldnt appreciate that either. I have a few pics of our boy that he doesnt appreciate! LOL!

  • My baby brother now has a serious girlfriend. In a couple months (while baby bro is still in Iraq), my sisters and I are taking his girlfriend out for a night on the town. As you can imagine, my brother is afraid. Very afraid 🙂

  • From the mother of many teenagers, NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!! You will NOT enjoy them! They will be the bane of your existence, trust me.

  • Fiddledaddy is my hero.

  • I think teens will be fun too!

  • Being that I have a 6 y/o and a 17 y/o and a couple in between; they are all so much fun at any age. I find them much more fun now that they are no longer in diapers!!
    Love you and loved the testimony!

  • Ooh, you’re tough! I LIKE that in a person 🙂

  • My kids love to put makeup on their little boy cousins. It drives me nuts! And my brothers-in-law. But the boys love it, and we DO have the pictures!

    Visit To Love, Honor and Vacuum today!

  • When my now 17-year-old brother was just a toddler, my sister and I dressed him girl’s clothes and painted his nails. My second oldest brother threw a fit and tattled on us, but I think my mother thought it was hilarious. Our father…not so much. 🙂

  • Oh, Mr. Right would have done the same thing. He knows that it’s hard enough to be a man without the fear of the young past coming back to bite him in the butt. Plus, his sister did the same thing to him when they were on a family trip to CA one year. He was 17 years old and she made him up while he was asleep. I’ve got the photographic evidence and all…

  • Ha! I totally did this to my little brothers when they were small. Including make-up. Your Jensen got off easy.

  • I’m with you on the ‘if they’re silent there’s trouble brewing’ front. Just wait until they discover the joys of make up . . .