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Think of the Money I’ll Save On Kleenex

nose-germs.jpgAll last week, we dealt with the pestilence in our house. The other morning I crawled out of bed, knuckles dragging on the carpet. When Fiddledaddy saw me, he searched hard for something encouraging to say.

“Um, well, you’re pimple is getting better.”

“At least there’s that,” I mumbled as I shuffled toward the coffee pot.

This particular plague had taken me down with a thud. And really, there was no avoiding it. On Day 1, Jensen came to me, looking up through sad red eyes, batting his impossibly long eyelashes.


Dutifully, I pulled his kleenex from my bra, otherwise known as the tissue dispenser, and relieved him of the offending booger.

No one was safe. I always knew where he was by the shrieks of the sisters, “MOM, JENSEN’S NOSE IS RUNNING AND HE’S EATING IT! GROSS!”

As if.

In domino affect, each child became afflicted, then the primary care giver, then never wanting to feel left out, Fiddledaddy.

The children each would swoop in for an hourly hug from me, only to leave a trail of boogers behind on my best black tattered t-shirt.

“C’mon people, I buy the expensive Kleenex with the Lotion built in, for crying out loud!”

Add in a couple of perfunctory nose bleeds, and my laundry doubled last week. After an earlier bout with a dry bleeding nose, Cailey, who had wisely chosen to wear all white, quipped as she looked down at the carnage, “I’m surrounded by blood.”

Just before dinner, as I stared at a bowl full of dead chicken breasts, Fiddledaddy came to my rescue. “Dial #2.” Which is code in our house for Takeaway service at Carrabbas.

We all piled into the van to procure dinner. As we sat in the parking lot, waiting for our order, I noticed a possible new fashion trend. A woman, about my age, was sporting a pant suit. I have the utmost respect for the Pant Suit. But, the pants, plaid in nature, had a familiar sheen to them. A shine, as it were. She was wearing plaid plastic pants. Fiddledaddy and I glanced at one another, to make sure that our eyes have indeed NOT failed us at last. Oh yes, my friend, those are plastic pants.

And the booger coated practical part of me got to thinking. An outfit like that could totally save me untold trips to the laundry room.

Is this a fashion trend? Clearly, I need to check in with Big Mama. Should I chose to revamp my wardrobe in plastic wear, and say, rip up the carpet and install a drain in the family room, my life is going to get a lot easier.

Which will mean a good deal more time to ponder lifes little mysteries. Like, why do the escalator rails travel at a different rate of speed than the stairs?

Plus a lot of other stuff I haven’t had time to think about.

I’m curious. What would you say is your best time saving technique?


18 Responses to Think of the Money I’ll Save On Kleenex

  • Plastic pants!?! That’s funny. No, I don’t think I could ever quite wear those.

    I like looking nice, even if I’m just around the house, because it makes me feel human. So I get dressed, put some lipstick on, and then tend to all the drudgery of the day.

    As for my best time-saving tip, set the timer for 15 minutes and clean something. Anything. When the timer’s on you can handle it because it’s only 15 minutes. Anyone can do anything for 15 minutes.

    Have a great week!

    Visit To Love, Honor and Vacuum today!

  • Oh, I can imagine the looks the plastic pants would have gotten! Too funny! Hope you’re all feeling better and the washer is quiet for a while.

  • That’s hilarious! I have a 3 month old with acid reflux- lots of spit up!!! Those plastic clothes would be so nice!!! 🙂

  • I can’t believe someone would want to wear plastic pants in Florida, or anywhere for that matter!

  • I don’t think plastic pants have come back into style. I think The Fashion Police (the website) would have mentioned it–I like to visit there daily and see what kind of craziness fashion designers think people will actually wear.:)

    Time saving tip? Well–I just found out you can preorder your groceries at Sam’s Club with their Click and Pull feature–woohoo!!! You put all the items on a click and pull list and send it in and they will pull your order so you don’t have to wander through the leaning towers of stuff. So now my once a month shopping is even better since the other main place I go is an organic foods wholesaler that does the same thing. I figure it saves me money as well since I don’t make random purchases just because and can see the cost before I order.

  • I’m not really a good source of time-saving tips. I had to take a day off work today to get my laundry all finished. Really.

  • I imagine most people already do this, but it is my biggest time saver, so I’ll mention it: Magnetic list on the fridge! Everyone in my house knows that if they run out of something, they add it to the list. That way, I only make one shopping trip per week and don’t forget anything! Oh yeah, and it is also helpful to keep Walmart/Target giftcards on hand for when your child hands you the invitation to the birthday party that is TOMORROW!! You already have the gift and don’t have to run out to get it! (Just don’t be tempted to spend the giftcards yourself when your checking account is low and you really really want that cute purse at Target – not that this has happened to me, of course!)

  • The best time-saver for me is to have a schedule each week — on Mondays, I clean the house and wash the sheets and towels. On Fridays, I do the rest of the laundry, etc. Otherwise, I am tempted to try to keep the house looking perfect each day. But if I have a schedule, I can control my OCD-self by saying, “Crumbs on the floor? No problem. I’m cleaning on Monday.”

    I also try really hard not to get sick. And in Minnesota, it’s fairly simple. I think the negative temperatures kill off a lot of germs.

  • Having Mr. Right vacuum for me saves me tons of time. As well as having the kids at grandma’s house. I haven’t had to spend much time cleaning lately – funny how the two correlate…

    Get better!

  • I find ignoring things works great as a time saver. Of course, that doesn’t work forever…..

  • Right now I would love that for my boys who are walking around with snail trails on their sleeves. When asked why don’t they use kleenex they said and I quote “I don’t like the feel of it”. Say what?? I’ve bought every known nose hankie known to man and they still won’t use it. I’m now banking on them noticing girls to curb them of this. I can dream, can’t I?

    As far as the time saver – uh, what?? What’s that? I have done the 15 minute timer thing and it really does work. Now if my evil self will stop hidding the timer I would be better about it.

  • Sometimes I make two batches of a meal and freeze one for later. Unfortunately this doesn’t happen very often.

  • Oh, my gosh, lol…I LOVE it!! Plaid plastic pants?!? I’m thinking that would save me having to change all the time when my child-in-potty-training decides to just pee on my lap rather than go the extra 20 feet to the washroom. Awesome.

    Love your blog by the way. It’s a great read!

  • OH my goodness what a funny post. 🙂 I loved the line about how your daughter wisely chose to wear white haha. My 8 year old insists on wearing tank tops and shorts during the winter and then cannot figure out why she is cold. lol

    Did anyone ever tell you that your style of writing is similar to Erma Bombeck? She is my personal mommy hero…my favorite book from her is “the grass is always greener over the septic tank” lol.

    anyway have a great day!

  • Put the children in barrels and don’t let them out until they’re 12 years old and can wipe thier own noses. Worked well for me.

  • While very practical, plastic pants aren’t really intended for anyone not wearing a cloth diaper underneath.

    They just don’t breathe, although the sheen is attractive.

  • My time saving tip? Settle. No, it’s not perfect, but settle for what it is, and move on.

    Especially since I am sick. AGAIN.

  • Well, I have to wholeheartedly agree with Lorisa in a comment above! Ignoring things is a wonderful time saver!! I love it!

    Plastic pants? Not so much. Plus, wouldn’t you squeak with every step?

    So sorry about the plague at your house DeeDee. While snot stories are some of the very few that I simply cannot stomach, yours of course had me laughing. 🙂

    Hope everyone gets better soon!