I took Emme and Cailey to a swim play date at two of their girl cousins’ house. A good time was had by all, until the sisterly bickering took a nasty turn.
“MOM, she RUINED my turn on the raft.”
“I did not, it was MY turn.”
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
Bicker, bicker, bicker, bicker.
“OW. OW. OW. MOM, she peenched me.”
(BTW, Peench is southern for “pinch”. My fault. Drives Fiddledaddy insane.)
I ordered my offspring out of the pool, scanned the elder sister for “peench” marks, and told them to get dressed without another word.
“MOM, she’s singsonging.”
Somebody kill me.
The drive was fraught with attitude and tension. I explained to them that their behavior was unacceptable and embarrassing. Two sisters should LOVE one another. And I told them that someday they would grow up to be the very best of friends, and that they would both call me every single week to apologize for their childhood behavior.
Just like I call my dad every single week. Just to apologize. And thank him for not sending me to military school. In the Alps.
Two small voices were barely audible from the back seat. “We’re sorry mom. Will you forgive us?”
I sigh, remembering that my brother and I were much much worse. “Of course I will.”
I arrived home looking distraught and disheveled. Fiddledaddy took one look at me and said, “Something came for you while you were gone. It’s in your medicine cabinet.”
I dropped my purse on the floor and raced into the bathroom with renewed stamina. Upon opening the medicine cabinet, this is what greeted me on the top shelf:
Fiddledaddy picked them up for me at Lowes. No, our Lowes does not stock Thin Mints. I wish….then I actually could live at Lowes. But rather, on the way out. From the little waif selling them from a folding card table.
Hallelujah, and God bless the Girl Scouts of America. And Fiddledaddy.
You should know that I’ve worn out the hinge on my bathroom cabinet. And in the process, I polished off an entire column in one afternoon.
A personal best, to be sure.
Now I’m utterly ashamed. (Not really.)
I could just peench myself.
Confess, which are your favorites, and how many have you ever eaten in one sitting?