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Scaredy Cat

One drawback to getting up at dark thirty to go work out is that, well, it’s dark. There are many other drawbacks, but that’s the one that is upper most in my head. For now.

I set my alarm for 4:30 am on the days I work out. I can hardly type that without shuddering myself. And calling myself insane. Anyhoo. The other night, Jensen woke me up at about 3 am. He’s much better about sleeping through the night, but sometimes, for old times sake, he summons me to his room. Because I’m awfully entertaining at that hour. I settled him back down by 4 am, and decided just to stay up. And drink 16 cups of coffee.

In case some of you notice that I lurk and comment on your blogs in the middle of the night, that’s why.

I leave for the gym at 5, to meet up with my compadres by 5:15. As I was walking down the hall to leave, this is what I saw in the hall.


We don’t own a cat. This is one of those lifelike robot type cats that look at you as though they are possessed. They meow, move their head in your direction, and even hiss.

I almost lost 4 pounds right there on the carpet.

Because that cat was NOT there earlier when I left Jensen’s bedroom. I found out later that morning that Cailey moved it to the hall in the wee hours because she woke up and it was looking at her. I make a mental note to move it to the middle of the street and let it take it’s chances out in the wild.

So, I quickly left the house. Taking great care to avoid the plague of frogs waiting for me on our front porch. Frogs that are ready to spring into my hair if I’m too slow. Which would be really unfortunate for the sleeping neighbors.

I climb into Fiddledaddy’s Prius, which I’ve dubbed the “sports car.” Because to me, anything without sliding doors, a fold down third seat, and petrified french fries embedded in the floor mats is a sports vehicle. I crank up the music THAT I WANT TO LISTEN TO. It may be country, or old time rock-n-roll, depending on my mood. On this particular morning, it was gospel. In my vain attempt to make up for the curse words I muttered when the cat scared me.

The workout studio that we go to is only about 10 minutes from my house. But it’s down a very dark and desolate street. Trish has the keys, so we all try to synchronize our watches, to arrive at about the same time. I pulled into the parking lot, the first to arrive. As I turned in, I noticed a strange car pull out from the back of the building. No good ever goes on at the back of the building. The car followed me and parked in the spots adjacent to where we all park. I lit out of there like a cat on fire. I figured I’d head back to the Dunkin’ Donuts that I pass on my way there. The same Dunkin’ Donuts where I’m quite sure a murder has been committed every time I pass in the dark, judging from the large police presence.

I called Trish’ cell phone. I could see her van at the light, preparing to turn.

“Trish, there’s a strange car parked at the studio. His lights are on, and he looks like a shady character. I’ll follow you in and be your backup.”

Because I’m brave like that. And besides, her van is much bigger than my little sports car.

“Roger that.”

So, I pull in behind her. Like a scared little girl. We proceed slowly. And park in our usual spots. The car moves beside us. And stops. The driver gets out. For the second time that morning I nearly wet myself.

“KATIE. I thought you were a masher. Or worse.”

“What’s a masher?”

It was our 24 year old niece. She had never come before. We had no idea she would be there. I didn’t recognize her car at that hour. She had gone behind the building, because when she showed up and no one was there, she thought we parked in the back.

After the workout, I drove home at 6:15. In the dark. Passing the Dunkin’ Donuts. Without stopping in. The police presence was still strong. Giving me little comfort.

I arrive back home, avoiding the frogs, who haven’t moved in my absence. I tiptoe down the hall, stepping over the creepy cat. Nudging it slightly with my sneaker. I shower, make more coffee, and prepare to face the children as they awaken.

Now, that really ought to scare the stuffing out of me.

Because of all the caffeine I consume, and the danger that lurks around every corner, my heart rate stays up most of the day. So, really, it’s like getting many mini-workouts in, after the big one in the morning.

So, why do I still resemble a sausage?

22 Responses to Scaredy Cat

  • OH ME!!

    You’ve got a way of writing girl. MY heart rate is up… That silly cat would reside in the basement at my house — probably too close to the wood furnace, actually. Poor cat…

    I’ve set my alarm to 5:45… going to start my year off with a BANG and exercise with my 12yodd. I hope it lasts…

  • Glory – 4:30 AM! My husband often says there are holy and unholy “early hours,” and that’s bordering on the “unholy.” Quite inspiring. But if I try to emulate you, I’ll make sure to avoid all the terrifying (yet, helpfully, metabilizing!) things that await you on your routine.

  • You have to laugh!!!

  • A Sausage? Are you kidding? You look great DeeDee! I chuckled at your comment about putting the cat in the street. Even your daughter thinks the cat is ‘looking’ at her? snort* Like mother like daughter. ;O)

    We’re heading back to the gym too, although I plan on taking all the kids with me. My girls love working out.

  • Oh. My.

    I really have no excuse, do I?

  • I get up at 4 for my workouts (yes a.m.)…it’s day one and I’m already considering reopening my vault of excuses.

    We have a real cat but had a robot dog…the cat is why we had one, not have one!

  • Like Chandler said in a memorable episode of Friends, “Too! Many! Jokes!”

    But seriously? I’m so impressed with you getting up at dark thirty to workout, despising the fake cats and fake slashers that get in your way. You go girl!

    And enjoy that caffeine. It’s God’s gift to mothers everywhere.

  • so you must go to bed at like 6 to get up at these terrible early hours.

  • I’m sitting here wiping my eyes from laughing so hard and praying I don’t need a mop. 😀 Too funny!!

  • You are TOO funny. That’s all I’ve got to say.

    Actually, I should add that you inspired me to workout in the dark this morning. In my own home, but in the dark because I didn’t want to wake up my Better Half…as if all the beeping the machine makes didn’t wake him up. Not to mention my dropping and almost breaking his I-Pod. And it was 6:30, NOT 4:30. But THANK YOU! for the inspiration–I shall be up again tomorrow for another work-out in the dark.

  • I am sure your blog post was really interesting, but I am still shocked people get up this early to work out. I am toying with a New Year’s resolution to get up at 6:30 to work out and I thought I was some kind of work out martyr. You have put me to shame.

  • Okay, You inspired ME to work out today too, but trying to do a workout video while my one, and three year old play around my uncoordinated feet was only mildly successful. I was trying to figure out if I could muster the money and the motivation to do a pre-wakeup gym workout. I cannot say this post was particularly encouraging. Although it WAS highly entertaining. I think I may try a pre-wakeup basement workout tomorrow.

  • About the cat, I have only this to say:

    At Halloween, instead of candy, one house gave my toddler a plastic tarantula.

    The rest you can imagine.

  • So hubby and I were discussing you at dinner (yes, you have become part of my dinner discussions) and were speculating at what time you must go to bed at night to get up at 4:30?

  • Oh my…your posts leave me laughing. We don’t care for cats around here, so your cat story had me snorting!

    You really do more before 9:30 than most people do all day!

  • that is the funniest story I have heard today..thanks..
    I could not have one of those things!

  • I think this is your funniest post ever! I almost spewed coffee all over the computer when I read about your playing gospel in the car. You do have a way with words!

    Keep up the good work! You are totally my hero and inspiration. 🙂

  • I just love your writing. This post reminded me of something that happened to me a little over a year ago and I wrote about it…..


  • You know, I used to run at 5:30am every other day, until I came home one day to find my 2 year-old sitting in his jammies on the front porch…all alone. No one had heard him leave, and he had come out looking for me, but then couldn’t get back in!

    Not really sure if I’m sad that put an end to my early morning runs or not….my waistline is definitely sad, though, LOL!

  • Talk about wetting oneself! You need Depends alerts on your posts. 😉 That was just too funny. I’m a big supporter of women carrying guns, but I would have hated for you to take out the robot cat and woke up the whole family. LMAO Or your niece. 😉

    I know most of the people who read your blog have small children, but I have 2 adult children and the workouts get a LOT easier as the kids age. Don’t blink, it goes faster than you’d think.

  • Ok, so I was laughing so hard I cried, streaming….not stopping…my husband and daughter think I’m off my rocker! Thank you for giving me the much needed “heart-attack” today…you’re hysterical. —I am truly sorry that you had to go through all that, but I’m so thankful you shared it. 🙂

  • I laugh… but your words are transformative, making me think, change. Thank you. For being real, for being purposeful, for bringing a smile… and hope.
    You are appreciated.

    All’s grace,