Tying One On

The other day, Emme was studying me as I was tying my shoe laces. “Wow mom, you’re fast.”

“Years and years of practice, my dear. Back when I was your age, we didn’t have velcro on our shoes.”

Her eyes widen, and the shock is apparent on her face. “You are KIDDING me.”

This is the same reaction I got when I told her that back when the dinosaurs roamed the earth, aka my childhood, we had to DIAL the telephone. Which was CONNECTED to the wall.

“Not even kidding,” I add to her amazement.

Yes, I may be fast. But I make lousy bows. It’s been that way all my life. With a twist and a flourish, my mother made gorgeous bows. But the bow tying gene didn’t pass down to me. The love of all things breaded and fried, yes, but not the ability to tie beautiful bows.

Which leads me to the point of this post. I KNOW, it’s so unusual for me to get to a point SO SOON.

I’ve been leading y’all astray. Living a bloggy lie. I hang my head in shame. I didn’t intend to do it. But once you get started, well, it’s hard to stop. Same with Oreos.

dcp_3238.jpgFor the last little while or so I’ve been letting you all believe that I am an amazing bow maker. Well, with the aid of my “bowdazzler”. You remember, last week on my post about Christmas card displays, then came the post about my wreath creation. Many of you expressed interest in such an invention.

BUT THERE IS NO SUCH THING.

I googled “Bowdazzler” to see what I could come up with. To pass along my vast knowledge of all things bow related to you all.

I came up with a big fat zero.

What? How can it not exist? I mean, I bought one at my local craft store a few years ago. After seeing an infomercial. I even used a coupon. Did I dream the whole thing up? I suppose if I can imagine that I’m tall and thin, the sky’s the limit.

Then I discovered the error of my ways. It isn’t a Bow-Dazzler at all. Its called a Bowdabra. Evidently, my memory isn’t what it once was. Child rearing has indeed taken it’s toll.

There is an actual website that explains the whats and hows of this wonderful invention. The bow making possibilities are endless. And should you purchase your own Bowdabra kit, it even comes with an instructional VHS tape (which lets you know how long I’ve had this thing and hopefully they’ve upgraded to DVD.) Which is handy if you are the type who refuses to read directions. Because they are unnecessary, after all. And require the use of unattractive reading spectacles.

But, maybe that’s just me.

bow.jpgI’ve used my Bowdabra to make bows for my Christmas tree, Wreath, and Christmas Card Display. My preferred ribbon of choice are the wide ribbons with wires on the edges. That way when all the decorations get smashed into the box after New Years, I can fluff them out the next year. I buy my ribbon the day after Christmas during the SALE, and then purchase more before the next Christmas when I forget that I already bought it the year before. It’s that memory issue.

I feel better now. Confession being good for the soul, blah, blah, blah.

Carry on with some mad bow making, y’all. For more insightful holiday tips and such, head over to Works For Me Wednesday at Rocks In My Dryer.

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16 thoughts on “Tying One On”

  1. I store my Christmas ribbon and wrapping paper with my Halloween decorations. That way they get pulled out before I go buy new stuff. Fortunately I can do the bend and twisty bow thing – and I love the wire ribbon too!

    Merry Christmas! Kim

  2. I always purchase stuff after Christmas and the next year I ALWAYS forget that I have it. This year I found a bag of Hallmark ornaments and had NO memory of purchasing them.

  3. LOL’ing at your post. Particularly the part where you buy it during the sale and then buy again next christmas….glad I’m not the only one who does that. HA! =)

  4. I LOVE your wit…I’ll be back even if you are bow-making-challenged, although it will take a special effort on my part to overlook such a defect. But at least you’re honest.

  5. Personally, I think Bowdazzler sounds MUCH better than Bowdabra. Sounds too much like something my husband would buy at Victoria’s Secret. Anyway — you make beautiful bows. Have a Merry Christmas!

  6. Hey… I’m so glad that I’m not the only person who didn’t get the craft gene. Ummm, wait a second… my mom didn’t get it either… Hmmm, I see a pattern here. Fortunately I married an artist, so my kids have SOME hope…

  7. Wait – I thought there was a BowDazzler too. There has got to be something out there called that! Maybe the BeadDazzler or something?

    My Mom can make beautiful bows too that I didn’t get either – what is up with that? So say hello to my little friend called wired ribbon. Works like a charm!
    I so would have pulled off the bows as my own claiming ancient chinese secret or something. You’re a good person. :)

  8. Bowdazzler has such a better ring to it. I have a degree in advertising and public relations–I know these things. (I never used that degree–it just collects dust and interest. Unless you count trying to convince Boo that supper is really tasty, that could be advertising…I digress…)

    I think you should really go into marketing, though, between “Bowdazzler” and “Tying One On”– you catch us with the first line.

    Thanks for the smile. Again you’ve made my day.

  9. I’ve got a Bowdabra, too, and LOVE it!! A sweet lady at church gave me one after I repeatedly went to her to beg her to make bows for my wreaths. I LOVE this thing, funny name and all!!

    His,
    Mrs. U

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