About a year and a half ago, Emme began campaigning in earnest for the hottest craze to hit the prepubescent set since the skate board. I’m talking about those innocent enough looking sneakers that have wheels on the bottom. That’s right. Unless you’ve been in a cave, and no where near your local Wal Mart where kids glide and crash into the elderly on any given Sunday, you know that I’m talking about Heelys.
These are different than my white boot roller skates of the 70’s. The ones with the snazzy toe stop. For braking purposes. And a groovy red, white, and blue case, to transport them to the skating rink every Friday night. Where I heavily applied baby blue eye shadow in the bathroom. And btw, these gems reside at my dad’s house to this day, just waiting until one of my daughters’ are in need of size 7 roller skates.
They may remain in his attic for eternity, since roller skates are so “like last century, mom.”
When Emme first approached us about the idea of Heelys on her “I Wish, I Wish” Christmas list last year, we thought about it for all of 4 seconds before saying “NO.” I mean, it’s one thing to have wheels on the bottom of your shoes in a controlled environment. Like the Roller Derby. With handrails. And rules. But to set children free in malls and shopping stores, well, that’s a lawsuit waiting to be filed.
Wisely, we told her that we thought she was too young, and she would need to wait until she turned 12. The same year she will be allowed to pierce her ears. In other words, an infinity for a 7 year old.
My master plan also involved the idea that Heelys would be outlawed by then. Problem solved.
She hasn’t let up in her quest to procure the desired footwear. They’ve shown up on every gift wish list since last Christmas. Even her prayers were sprinkled with Heely requests. Her 8th birthday came and went a couple of weeks ago, with no Heelys. She often asks if she can go to the local sports shop just to visit the display.
Then the other night, Fiddledaddy e-mailed me a review of a knockoff product that Wal Mart was carrying for only $20.00. That’s considerably better than the $60.00 that most Heelys actually cost. SIXTY DOLLARS. I don’t even pay that much for my own footwear. And my feet have stopped growing. Except for the bunions. But that’s another post just crying out to be written.
I could tell that Emme was making a dent in Fiddledaddy’s armor. He was beginning to cave a bit. And around here I’m already known as the giant marshmallow.
And then, this weekend, we found ourselves heading to the mall to buy Junior footy pjs. We hadn’t been in a year or so. And lo and behold there was a brand new Dick’s Sporting Goods attached. Fiddledaddy said, as we were exiting the van, “Well, we may as well go inside and look at the Heelys.”
This wasn’t looking good.
Emme squealed with delight, and we descended upon the Heely display en masse. And what do you know? They were marked down to $39.99. We hunted for just the right sizes and color. Yes, I said sizes. Did you think we could get away with just one pair for one sister? Oh no. Both of my girls gleefully exited the store as proud owners of Heelys. And we left $80.00 lighter. Merry Christmas, Happy Belated Birthday, and yeah it’s Easter. Since we will be avoiding all of the recalled toys this year, we may have gotten off easy.
As we strolled the mall, we passed the Piercing Pagoda. I remarked to Fiddledaddy, “Well, we may as well let them get their ears pierced while we’re at it. And look honey, a free navel ring. Such a deal.”
Emme’s feet haven’t touched the ground since. And I don’t mean because of her beloved Heelys. She has been on her best behavior and has thanked us at least 249 times since Saturday. I’m hoping that will last at least a few more days. On Sunday, Fiddledaddy took Cailey shopping for full body armor. To protect her delicate knees, elbows, wrists, and head. While Emme is quite accomplished at “The Heely”, Cailey, unhappily, inherited her mother’s sense of balance.
As a post note, Fiddledaddy informed me (by e-mail) that he had ordered himself a pair of Heelys on-line, since the store didn’t carry his size. So that he could “bond” with his children.
I hear traction is a very bonding experience.
I’ll be spending the day today looking into upgrading our insurance.
And restocking my supply of Barbie bandages.
And cocktail mix.