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Roller Girls

About a year and a half ago, Emme began campaigning in earnest for the hottest craze to hit the prepubescent set since the skate board. I’m talking about those innocent enough looking sneakers that have wheels on the bottom. That’s right. Unless you’ve been in a cave, and no where near your local Wal Mart where kids glide and crash into the elderly on any given Sunday, you know that I’m talking about Heelys.

These are different than my white boot roller skates of the 70’s. The ones with the snazzy toe stop. For braking purposes. And a groovy red, white, and blue case, to transport them to the skating rink every Friday night. Where I heavily applied baby blue eye shadow in the bathroom. And btw, these gems reside at my dad’s house to this day, just waiting until one of my daughters’ are in need of size 7 roller skates.

They may remain in his attic for eternity, since roller skates are so “like last century, mom.”

When Emme first approached us about the idea of Heelys on her “I Wish, I Wish” Christmas list last year, we thought about it for all of 4 seconds before saying “NO.” I mean, it’s one thing to have wheels on the bottom of your shoes in a controlled environment. Like the Roller Derby. With handrails. And rules. But to set children free in malls and shopping stores, well, that’s a lawsuit waiting to be filed.

Wisely, we told her that we thought she was too young, and she would need to wait until she turned 12. The same year she will be allowed to pierce her ears. In other words, an infinity for a 7 year old.

My master plan also involved the idea that Heelys would be outlawed by then. Problem solved.

She hasn’t let up in her quest to procure the desired footwear. They’ve shown up on every gift wish list since last Christmas. Even her prayers were sprinkled with Heely requests. Her 8th birthday came and went a couple of weeks ago, with no Heelys. She often asks if she can go to the local sports shop just to visit the display.

Then the other night, Fiddledaddy e-mailed me a review of a knockoff product that Wal Mart was carrying for only $20.00. That’s considerably better than the $60.00 that most Heelys actually cost. SIXTY DOLLARS. I don’t even pay that much for my own footwear. And my feet have stopped growing. Except for the bunions. But that’s another post just crying out to be written.

I could tell that Emme was making a dent in Fiddledaddy’s armor. He was beginning to cave a bit. And around here I’m already known as the giant marshmallow.

And then, this weekend, we found ourselves heading to the mall to buy Junior footy pjs. We hadn’t been in a year or so. And lo and behold there was a brand new Dick’s Sporting Goods attached. Fiddledaddy said, as we were exiting the van, “Well, we may as well go inside and look at the Heelys.”

This wasn’t looking good.

Emme squealed with delight, and we descended upon the Heely display en masse. And what do you know? They were marked down to $39.99. We hunted for just the right sizes and color. Yes, I said sizes. Did you think we could get away with just one pair for one sister? Oh no. Both of my girls gleefully exited the store as proud owners of Heelys. And we left $80.00 lighter. Merry Christmas, Happy Belated Birthday, and yeah it’s Easter. Since we will be avoiding all of the recalled toys this year, we may have gotten off easy.

As we strolled the mall, we passed the Piercing Pagoda. I remarked to Fiddledaddy, “Well, we may as well let them get their ears pierced while we’re at it. And look honey, a free navel ring. Such a deal.”

Emme’s feet haven’t touched the ground since. And I don’t mean because of her beloved Heelys. She has been on her best behavior and has thanked us at least 249 times since Saturday. I’m hoping that will last at least a few more days. On Sunday, Fiddledaddy took Cailey shopping for full body armor. To protect her delicate knees, elbows, wrists, and head. While Emme is quite accomplished at “The Heely”, Cailey, unhappily, inherited her mother’s sense of balance.

As a post note, Fiddledaddy informed me (by e-mail) that he had ordered himself a pair of Heelys on-line, since the store didn’t carry his size. So that he could “bond” with his children.

I hear traction is a very bonding experience.

I’ll be spending the day today looking into upgrading our insurance.

And restocking my supply of Barbie bandages.

And cocktail mix.

20 Responses to Roller Girls

  • Make sure you ask for one of those “rocking chair that turns into a fully reclining bed” for those upcoming overnight hospital stays.

  • And you might want to empty out your living room to make room for hospital beds. . .

    . . .that have a view of the Christmas tree. . .

  • Wow–they are outlawed in every building in our county. Every store around here says that people on heely’s will be removed from the premise. Too many accidents I guess. My daughters tried to convince us and we had the doctor explain how dangerous they were, and showed them every “No Heely’s” sign, and told them if they got them they would be required to wear a helmet everywhere they went-at which point they caved and gave up on that one.

  • I think you are wise to up the insurance coverage. Maybe you should order body armor for him, too.

  • I remember my husband bonding with my son on his rollerblades…I watched them go down the hill and promptly fall. My husband broke his shoulder inside of 10 seconds. That’s gotta be some kind of record. You are in my prayers! :o)

  • LOL Well isn’t that just a ‘daddy’ for ya. ;O) I could just hear the sarcasm as you told him about the naval rings. lol I look forward to hearing about his ‘bonding’ experience with their new toys.. er um I mean SHOES.

  • You know, if you’re husband falls, a Barbie bandage may just cure him of his love for Heelys.

  • I’m starting to see more and more ‘no Heely’ signs pop up. You might want to have cheap-o shoes in your vehicle just in case they have to change shoes.

  • Hilarious – we got the wal-mart brand ones for my five year old and she is having a blast with them…at home. I have not gotten brave enough to let her wear them out anywhere yet 🙂 She can already out run me…so adding wheels to that would be a nightmare waiting to happen! LOVE your blog! Sunshine

  • BTW – LOVED Kelly@love well’s comment about the Barbie bandage 🙂 How funny is that? Sunshine

  • Hey! I found your blog through another blog which I cannot remember now (2 children – brain gone). We bought our son some Heely’s for his b-day this summer and we have had no trips to the ER as of yet. So, be encouraged (but still call the insurance company because there HAVE been some close calls!)

  • Oh my word! Even at $40 I am not caving! Well, I am known to be mean like that, so I think I’ll stick with it.
    The shoes wouldn’t be so bad if the heelies stayed for play, but in the mall and stores it is a nuisance.

  • I got my daughter and my hubby Heelys for Christmas last year. The 6-year-old learned in no time and happily skated everywhere she could until she finally had to give them up this summer when they were 2 sizes too small. DH promptly fell, scrapped his knee terribly, and they’ve been collecting dust since.

    I have to admit they were the best and most used gift my daughter ever got and the worst injury was taking out the knees in 2 pairs of pants.

  • The Girl attended a b-day party yesterday where the b-day girl received a pair of Heely’s. She looked at me and said ever so sweetly, “Mom, I’ve always wanted those shoes.” Then she had the nerve to blink her baby blues at me. I of course had no problem saying no.

    But she said, “That’s okay; I’ll just ask (the parents of the b-day girl) for them for MY birthday.”

    Yeah. Good luck with that one too.

  • Ahhh…you haven’t lived until you’ve watched your very sure footed, incredibly athletic nearly 13 year old son wipe out in a Lowe’s parking lot. Left leg bent back at an odd angle and tears angrily wiped away before any over loving mom could see them.

    Then to watch him stand up and stalk limpingly toward the van while we tried to catch up…yeah, that was fun too.

  • Hi DeeDee!
    Thanks for your comment on my blog! I was really nervous about blogging, but I think I’m going to enjoy it. I love your blog! I have been reading it for quite some time but have never commented. It always brightens my day and I never leave without a chuckle.

  • My six year old has started campaigning for Heely’s. A lot. And he is reminded to remind me of it everyday when we pick him up from school and the neighbor kid is out — in the street– riding/using them. Yet we considered getting him rollerblades. There’s a distinction in there somewhere, right?

  • My oldest wants a pair too. In the worst way.

    I think FiddleDaddy wants to bond with his inner child…lol

    All I know is you won’t catch me in a pair. I’d break my neck for sure.

  • K has been begging for them…i told him he is as likely to get roller shoes as i am to walk outside tomorrow and find that brand new blue tahoe with the third row seat i have been lusting over….it just aint gonna happen while I am the one writing the checks.

  • 39cent paint can openers make a great heely tool for removing the wheels. I keep one in my purse for when we enter “no roll zones”

    Mrs N