Working It Out

Exercise.

It’s good for you.

You’ll feel better.

I hate exercise.

Pfffftttthhhht.

Sadly, however, I’ve reached that magical age that I will not lose another single pound unless exercise accompanies eating healthy.

Bite me.

I started going to the gym with 3 of my SIL’s a couple of years ago. My BIL is a personal trainer and has a studio, and we can use the space before hours. So, we met there at 5:15 am and worked out for about an hour, three times a week. And I use the term “work out” loosely, because our regiment involved mostly sitting on the exercise bike and laughing until we either peed, or fell off.

But then, about a year and a half ago, Jensen stopped sleeping through the night. On the bright side, the nightly rendezvous were a good source of blog fodder. But sadly, I stopped meeting up with my SIL’s at the gym, vowing I would instead get on my treadmill. Which I did.

Once.

Fast forward to last week. Dare I say it, but Jensen is sleeping through most nights, and I surprised my SIL, also known as Aunt Trish, by showing my weary face at the gym at 5:15. But the girls had a little surprise for me. It seems that they’ve gotten all serious about their workouts. And Trish purchased a DVD series from Beachbody.com which will transform a different area of your body with each workout. Killing you in the process.

Now, she had two options for workout series. A) the one for decrepit, older, out of shape types, or B) one for intrepid athletes.

She opted for B.

Oh happy day.

Not to be outdone, I jumped in with both feet. So last Friday, after a cardio warm up on the bikes and stairclimber, we tackled lunges, squats and other such methods of torture.

When I dragged my weary middle aged body through the front door at 6:30 am last Friday, taking great care to avoid the plague of frogs at our entry way, Fiddledaddy was waiting for me.

“So, how did you do?”

“I hope you don’t mind serving me while I recline on the couch all day,” I mumbled as I found my way to the hot shower.

Trish called me later in the morning, “How are you feeling?”

“Well, I find that I have to keep moving, because if I slow, rigor mortus sets in. I’m eating all of my meals in transit. Can’t wait for next week.”

Friday night I slept with not one, but two ice packs. One for my lower abs. And one that rested on the top of my head to soothe my headache. Because the children spent the day working out my last nerve.

And now, after pilfering through the children’s halloween booty, I have no choice but to continue. So, I’ve concluded that I’m going to have to invest in a full length body ice pack, a case of Ben Gay, and an industrial size bottle of extra strength Tylenol.

Oh yes, and a rifle to take care of the creepy frogs that are waiting to pounce on me at dark thirty on workout days.

17 Responses to Working It Out

  • Good for you (on your work outs, not the rifle to the frogs! and I hate when rigor mortus sets in, too, ’cause I’d be dead!)

  • And I quote…

    “So, we met there at 5:15 am”

    Woman, repeat after me.

    “I’m Fiddledeedee. I have a problem.”

  • With the holidays coming up, I need to get back into my exercise routine, too! Ugh!

    I will not get up at dark thirty to exercise. . . I am not a morning person! I’m amazed that you can do that!

    Keep us posted!

  • AQ,
    Thank you! For the life of me I could not figure out how to spell rigor mortus. And spell check just laughed at my attempts!

  • I have recently, as in yesterday when I consumed a pound of chocolate for the 5th day in a row, decided I must, must, must return to this loathsome habit myself. For damage control if nothing else.

    I am dreading though, and can I say you much this post did not help?? I may start a little gentler though. Hang in there.

  • good for you! it’s so hard when there aren’t enough hours in the day (and blogging seems to consume so much time) to prioritize it…

  • Dee Dee,
    I just wanted to thank you for your comment on my blog. You inspired me to do my own ‘My 100 Things’ which I posted today.

    I loved your exercise post…If you get a chance, read my post ‘The Stalker Walker’ about my walking buddy. We must have the same family/friends!

  • keep it up
    BUT
    take it slowly at first

  • Not even going to comment about my pants not fitting… Oh, how I need to start working out too. But first, I want a treadmill because there’s no way I’m running when it’s freezing cold outside…

  • What is UP with the frogs??

  • We have a couple of BB guns you could use on the frogs, lol. Rifles might be a bit overkill. And you’d have to clean up the mess. Not to mention being in trouble for shooting a firearm in the city limits. But BB guns are allowed. I know the mayor, and I asked.
    As for working out? Well, I would have looked at those sister in laws and told them they were nuts and walked out. What are they thinking, turning ladies morning out into WORK??? Crazy.

  • Once, “The Firm” almost killed me. I know the rigor mortis. In the bathroom, you lower yourself so far, then … you just have to drop and yell at the same time.

  • 5:15. How can that be? I too detest exercise so I feel your pain (although not literally). Still, 5:15????

  • It’s not right. It’s just not right.
    Working out at 5:15 when you could be falling of the bike peeing your pants! Or sleeping. Yeah, sleeeeeeepinnnnnggggg.

    Thanks for the laughs.

  • LLOL!!

    I was on my treadmill at 6:30 this morning and my arm is SO sore now from patting myself on the back all day… 🙂

  • I think exercise is sooo overrated……

  • Thanks for the encouragement. I graced the inside of the workout room at the Y for the first time in my LIFE today. I’m sure I’ll be paying for it tomorrow. Stay tuned. . .