Depend On Me

The dinner conversation took a wrong turn toward body functions. It usually does if we all sit there long enough. A lively banter involving poop ensued. I’ve spent years fighting this phenomenon. Trying to instill a little decency and class into the evening meal. To no avail.

Makes you want to join us for dinner, doesn’t it?

The topic came to rest while discussing Jensen’s diapers. Suffice it say that he’s a healthy specimen of boy. I’ll spare you the gory details.

Emme piped up with, “Well. When I have a baby, I’m going to have the Servant changed his diapers.”

I chuckle under my breath. Servant indeed. As if.  I look up to find her gazing at me.

“Forget it missy. Not me. After I get Jensen housebroken, I’m retiring the old changing table. In fact, I’m never changing another diaper as long as I live. End of story.”

She shrugs her small shoulders and continues eating.

What remains unstated is that I fully plan on living with each one of my children when I’m long past coherent and continent. And then we’ll see who changes who’s diapers.

Circle of life and all that rot.

Revenge is a dish served piping hot. :0

October 15, 2007

10 Responses to Depend On Me

  • I KNOW! I may have gone a tad too far with this one. And that would be so UNUSUAL for me. 🙂

  • One of your best, me thinks.

  • I ain’t skeert! My guys (led by hubby) came up with a complete baseball diarrhea song. I’m so proud as y’all can imagine.

  • Oh my…and here I thought those conversations were only at the houses dominated by boys. The 43 year old boy is the worst.

    My revenge is going to include dropping things down the vents, disliking any food set before me, spilling on the carpets and sofas and staying awake until all hours of the night and then arguing about wake-up time in the morning.

    I hadn’t thought of THAT one. You are the high queen of revenge. I am so inspired!!

  • You’ll be eating crow casserole (like Antique Mommy talked about today) later in life.

    You may say that you won’t want to do it, but the day your grandchildren enter the picture, you’ll be fighting for a chance to change diapers. Or so I hear… You won’t be a servant to your kid, but you will be one to your grandchild. Go figure.

    And I’m with you. I’m already preparing my kids for the idea of my eventual living arrangements with them. Oh, life is going to be fun then!

  • Here’s to hoping Depends are dependable in case my son procrastinates before changing me as long as I do him. I often hope, “If I ignore the smell, maybe it will just go away.”

  • eech! We’ve been listening to How To Eat Fried Worms on the way to school and the more discomfort I display the louder the kids clamor to hear it.

  • WOO HOO! My hubby and I fully intend on driving our daughters to the brink of insanity with our elderly carry-ons! Every time I’m up at 2am to change wet bed sheets, or I’m putting up with another tantrum at the supermarket, it gives me some small measure of pleasure to remember that my time will come! I am going to be a CANTANKEROUS old woman!! And my daughters will rue that they ran me ragged! HA HA!!

  • ok…let me say that the dinner table brings out the most interesting conversations in our house. I also have tried to steer my bunch away from inappropriate talk, but the battle has been lost a long time ago! I love the dinner table conversations….I always find out the most interesting things about their day, and the subject always ends on some kind of taboo (however hilarious) story. What a great way to keep your kids talking!! and you laughing!!