Saturday Stirrings: Death By Chocolate Cake

If you’re on a diet, avert your eyes from this one. This is a recipe that I dust off once a year, around the holidays, just to remind everyone in the family just why Fiddledaddy married me.

Oh sure, I’m sometimes easy on the eyes.  When I don’t have a pimple looming in the middle of my eyebrow.  Or when my hair doesn’t go postal.  Or when I’m not in the middle of a full blown hormonal meltdown.  Anyhoo.  And I can be plenty charming, especially after a glass of Port (the kind you unscrew). But those aren’t the reasons.

It’s The Cake. I made this creation during the Thanksgiving holiday for his family shortly after Fiddledaddy and I moved here to Florida. It solidified my rightful place in the family. The Cake gets talked about all year, and some time around our first cold front, I start getting inquiries. “So, are you going to make The Cake?” “It sure has been a long time since you made The Cake.” “We’d love to see you, but bring The Cake.”

After gaining 130 pounds with 3 pregnancies (all right, this was combined pregnancy weight), I decided to attempt to make The Cake using Splenda. The difference was noticed immediately. And I was chastised. This year there have been rumblings, “You’re going to use REAL sugar this year, aren’t you?”

Indeed I am.

People, the holiday season is just around the corner, and if you’re looking for a cake recipe that will ensure you a high popularity status, this is the one. And, shhhhhh, it’s really easy. But, no one else needs to know that.

Death By Chocolate Cake

It is imperative that you do everything in the order given. If not, I can’t be responsible for the results.

Mix in Large Bowl:
2 Cups Sifted Flour
2 Cups Sugar

Put in Sauce Pan & Bring to Boil:
1 Cup Margarine (2 Sticks)
4 T. Cocoa
1 Cup Water
Pour over Flour & Sugar & Stir
Then Add:
1 t. Vanilla
1/2 Cup Buttermilk
1 t. Baking Soda (Mix in Buttermilk)
2 Eggs

Bake @ 350 for 30 minutes in 13 x 9 pan

Frosting:
Put in Sauce Pan & Bring to Boil:
1 Stick Margarine
4 T. Cocoa
5 T. Milk
Remove From Heat & Add:
1 t. Vanilla
3/4 Box Powder Sugar
1 Cup Chopped Nuts

Pour over warm sheet cake (in pan)

Serve it from the pan. If I’m feeling spunky, and a little whitetrashy, I add sprinkles on top. Serve this warm with a little vanilla ice cream and you’ll get extra credit.

October 13, 2007

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