I was out with the girls for most of the afternoon, leaving the “boys” at home for some male bonding. I envisioned them side by side on the couch, Jensen clad only in a diaper and holding the remote, watching Nascar racing while scratching their bellies. And munching on Cheetos straight out of the bag on my nice off-white couch. When we purchased the couch, before children, it was white. Now, the couch is decidedly off-white. Speckled with various food stains, boogers, and body fluid. I’m just sayin’. When you have 3 children under the age of 8, you know what I’m talking about. And while the couch cover is washable, Tide can only perform so many laundering miracles, before it’s time to just toss a throw over the whole thing. Or in our case, just add more pillows. And discontinue inviting company over.
Where was I?
Oh yes, the boys’ afternoon of celebrating God’s creation of testosterone. Focus. My cell phone rang mid-afternoon. It was Fiddledaddy. “Are you boys having fun?” “He’s fast asleep,” he answered.
“WHAT? He’s not suppose to be asleep! Go shake him, for crying out loud!”
To which Fiddledaddy replied, “anyone knows, that you never EVER shake a baby. Especially a sleeping Jensen.”
“Chicken. Why is he asleep?” I demand.
“I wore him out.”
“Too much partying?”
“No, there was a wrestling match. And a haircut was involved.” Now, this would ordinarily not cause me concern. Fiddledaddy gave Jensen his last haircut, and the boy looked adorable. But then, he added, “And you’re bathroom looks like a crime scene.”
“WHAT? There’s blood in my bathroom?” I ask, as though that would be the first time.
“No, but there’s hair everywhere. I mean EVERYWHERE.”
He wasn’t kidding. I found hair in my shoes. Which were not even in the bathroom. Furniture was overturned, and the bathmats were all in one jumbled hairy heap across the room. Soap, shampoo bottles, and toy car-cars littered the floor. Frankly, from the carnage that I witnessed, they both should have been napping.
And the outcome of the haircut?
Cailey said it best when she came home, stopped dead in her tracks, stared at her baby brother, and said, “Dad… Why does Jensen’s hair look bad?”
To me, he’s still movie star handsome. To the general public, he looks like Forrest Gump.
Like I needed one more reason for patrons to stare at him when we go to Publix. Although he has improved, all eyes inevitably turn toward the origin of the grand disturbance. At least now, maybe they won’t notice The Screaming so much. Yes, the haircut should rack focus. This just may work in our favor after all.
And if not, I will be heading out to Target to purchase a few Jensen sized baseball caps.
{ 16 comments }
Sooooo funny! My hairstylist told me I could cut my son’s hair myself and I didn’t need to bring him in . . . UNTIL she saw the damamge I did to the poor boy’s hair. She took one look at him and said, “Sweetheart, your Mommy’s not allowed to touch your hair with scissors agian!” Now his hair looks adorable. Target has lots of cute little hats for summer. Enjoy shopping!
While you’re at Target, pick up some Wahl’s clippers. Just take Jensen out to the backyard and buzz him. Great summer cut (heck, for my three boys it’s a great cheap cut all year round!)
Well you know haircuts are like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get.
Take all the scissors/clippers out of the house…lest you feel the need to butcher this poor boys hair again;)
This one was way to funny. I am sure that you had a wonderful time cleaning up the mess while your boys rested from thier ordeal. I take my three year old to the barber shop, and we have left with half of a hair cut before. But at least he evens it out all the way around!
Must. See. Picture.
I think Forrest is pretty cute. I agree with Lori, we need to see a picture. Pretty please with a calorie free Oreo on top?
I used to cut my girls’ hair all the time when they were little. We called the haircut The One Cut Wonder. I think that would be a great name for a salon!
Hope you have a great weekend DeeDee!
Hi FiddleDeeDee. I have three at home under 9 and my 7 year old is named Emmy like yours (only with a different spelling). The kids always have adventures when home alone with Daddy! My Emmy gave herself an interesting haircut once…the consequence was taking her to cut all of her hair the shorter length…she ended up looking so cute with the haircut it did not seem much like consequences after all! =)
I was dying on the state of your couch. My off-white carpet is my nemesis. Last week I found myself holding the front door closed reFUSING to let one of the pastors in because of the puke stains on my carpet (dog with stomach cancer). No entertaining guests in this hour either!
At least both of your boys are alive right?
Just shave it all off. It will grow quickly . But I must say this whole post screams for a picture of the handsome victim.
Oh my! My son has a peanut allergy & it’s loads of fun (not!). You can read a bit of our tale here, if you are so inclined: http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/Honeybee/64519/
I’ll let you in on a few tips, depending on how badly allergic he is, noting that my son’s reactions has never been more than hives on the face, swelling on face (eyes!) and itchy throat–we carry chewable benadryl everywhere. We no longer do the Epi’s because of his history (longer story).
Another unfortunate “need to know”, is that Chic-Fil-A cooks everything in peanut oil. Don’t know if that matters where you are, but it did here unfortunately. It doesn’t seem to be a *well* known fact.
He *did* have a bad (one of his worst) reactions while eating PLAIN M&M’s…sad (because I caved in and let him try them.)
My daughter has had a harder time understanding why she is not permitted peanut products (and they are *everywhere!*) when she is with her brother. It’s tough.
Also, we don’t care for soy (butter), but have fallen in love with Sunflower Seed Butter which is cheaper than almond butter, etc., and is becoming more available (Meijer, Kroger).
Hang in there. It can be a rough ride at first! I’m sorry this will make your grocery shopping take a bit longer!
As you will be label reading more. I know you *love* that! Watch for those “Processed in a facility that uses peanuts” warnings–I *don’t* like them. Grrrrr!
Blessings to you all,
Melissa
I loved reading your post…Glad everyone is well!
Haha!!! Thats good! I had two children who thought hair cuts were painful torture. One child started on a booster seat on a chair in the kitchen. We finished with him partially under the chair and me sitting on him to pin him down while shaving his head. I thought they were bad, Jensen would give them a run for the money any day!
I had seen Stepping Heavenward on someone’s list and I liked what she had to say about it. Can’t remember whose. Let me know what you think of it when you read it.
If my son turns out like my daughter in the hair department (and it seems to be going that way so far), he won’t need a haircut until he’s about 2 1/2 yrs old. Hmmm…maybe that’s not such a bad option, considering?
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