I have discovered that whenever I pray to God for the gift of patience, when dealing with my children, He tends not to make things easier. Instead, He sends me little trials. I’ve concluded that this is to strengthen me. And because God really does have a sense of humor. This morning I prayed for patience. This afternoon I gave God a little chuckle.
The last day for the sale on diapers at Publix was upon me. Fiddledaddy has been working out of town, so if I was going to go to the store, I had to take my entire entourage. And my luggage included my purse, the snack bag, stuff for the recyclable bin, my coupon box, and a box of frozen half eaten turkey burgers that had passed their expiration date by MORE THAN A YEAR to be returned. (I discovered the expiration date AFTER they had been consumed.) The nasty taste should have been my clue. Fortunately no one kacked. I loaded the girls down with cargo, as though they were tiny pack horses. I placed Jensen in his stroller, and we barged into Publix like a noisy parade.
If you’ve followed this blog at all, or stumbled here by accident, you should know that Jensen and grocery shopping = Extreme Screaming. From the point of entry, to our hasty exit. Today he did not disappoint me. He began screaming as soon as we cleared the auto-doors, crying large crocodile tears and hollering “bye bye bye bye” at the top of his little lungs. Plan B was put into action. I hauled us all back to the van where we deposited the stroller, and put Jensen’s “teddy bear harness” on him. You can call it a leash if you must, but don’t judge me. I was hoping above all hopes that he just wanted to be free and loose. But since I knew he would topple all displays and climb the shelving, I needed to keep him restrained. And this gave the sisters opportunity to bicker over who would get to “walk” him. As soon as we cleared the auto-doors for take #2, he began screaming, and then dropped to his belly where he licked the floor. Which to Publix credit, looked cleaner than my own. But still.
I gathered all 38 pounds of him up onto my hip and determined that carrying him was my only viable option. He tends to not scream quite as loud and long when being carried. And before you say anything, I’ve tried ALL the carts. The regular model, the “car” version, the bench cart. All of ‘um. He wants nothing to do with the interior of a cart. Just makes him more angry. And the cart places him in a strategic position to scream in my ear. So I carried him. Through the entire store. While also herding the 5 and 7 year old. And pushing the shopping cart. (Only after Emme nearly mowed down a few elderly patrons.)
At the checkout counter, I caught sight of myself in a mirror. My cute little mommy ponytail had become a hood ornament on the side of my head. I was sweating, so all traces of makeup and lipstick were long gone. The long sleeved t-shirt that I had stylishly tied around my waste was now located at knee level. I looked rather crazed and had developed an unsightly tic in my left eye. And I no longer had any feeling whatsoever in my left arm. The kindly cashier asked me, “How are you today?” I stared at her for a moment, only my left eye was blinking, and finally I calmly stated, “I’m still standing, thank you for asking.” Since all of the baggers disappeared when we approached, there was no one to help us out to the car. Although I doubt that Publix offers the kind of help we really need.
We indeed procured the needed diapers. Although cloth diapers are looking better and better to me. And if we grow our own food, there would be no need to ever go grocery shopping again.
God answered my prayer. I demonstrated an amazing amount of patience. I surprised even myself. And tomorrow morning, I believe I’ll be praying for patience something else.
{ 32 comments }
Oh, I have so had trips like that! I make it a point never to take both of my kids to the grocery store at the same time, unless it is an absolute emergency.
Yes, never pray for patience.
Hi Dee Dee,
I know just how you feel. They should design supermarkets like McDonalds. Playgrounds and Drive-thrus. Here’s my personal account of ‘the supermarket experience’!!
Blessings,
Bec.
ALL THINGS BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL
Every so often it will come up in current affairs or the news about the battle that mothers have with the confectionery aisle and their kids. From day one, kids are known to like bright and colourful things, from the mobile hanging from the ceiling, the clown rattle, the multi-coloured lego blocks, to wrapping paper on birthday gifts.
Have you noticed from as young as 3, children can ‘smell’ out chocolate and lollies from a mile away?! If it so happens that she has small change, our 18 year old daughter, more often that not, will sneak a bar of chocolate in with the grocery items I had listed for her to buy. She has ‘secret’ hiding places for her precious chocolate – a ‘must-have’ for any teenage girl so they say. Our 5 year old will hunt down the chocolate or lollies hidden in unthinkable and seemingly unreachable places, yet find them she will.
You go to great pains to avoid the confectionery aisle when doing your usual grocery shopping, only to turn the corner and find chocolate eggs ‘blinking’ out at you in front of the baked beans and canned veges; or you would be strolling down the aisle furthest from the chocolates and party goods, only to glance back and see the dreaded hypo-energetic, sugar-loaded culprit grasped firmly in your preschooler’s hands, a big beam on her face forming into a wide ‘pleeese’ accompanied with a huge ‘who can resist this smile’ smile.
By this stage, you are tired from an hour or so of pushing a heavy shopping trolley up and down the aisles, sometimes back-tracking because you just can’t seem to remember which aisle the garbage bags are in, or whether it is at this end of the aisle or the other end. (Supermarket signs on each end only read half of the aisle, if you haven’t already noticed).
Your toddler is growing tired of sitting in a hard metal seat getting swamped under an overflow of grocery items that can’t quite fit into the trolley basket and is attempting to climb out into your arms for a cuddle. Your preschooler has been standing on the wheel-brim at the front of the trolley, going from getting down then up again, then down again, meanwhile you are concentrating hard on not ‘running her over’; or she is sprinting across the aisle grabbing things off the shelves and placing them in your trolley and within moments you are putting it back as you continue on – trying to get the shopping over and done with, a constant drone coming from your lips “Don’t touch that, put it back, we don’t need it, leave it alone – NO! ”
Your focus tunes back onto your child’s beaming, pleading, conniving face, you have a decision to make, if you cave in to the pleading, melt to that irresistable smile and say that she can have the chocolate eggs, ensuring you a fairly non-eventful exit through the checkout, while you have a vision of guilt before you at your child’s next dentist visit “Don’t give her chocolate and lollies” he says with a look that makes you feel as if you are the only mother in the whole world who would do such a thing!
- or say NO and have a whinge-ing, non-cooperative, sullen child (God forbid if she throws a tantrum!) whom you need to keep in check with one eye and hand, whilst unloading the groceries onto the conveyor belt with the other hand and with the other remaining eye on the checkout operator making sure he doesn’t double-scan an item, furthermore you are most likely cradling a tired, cranky, lead-heavy toddler on your hip at the same time.
If you do so much as get to the checkout counter without the unleasing of little people’s emotions, beware your preschooler is smart – there’s the chocolate and lollies display at the checkout right within her reach beckoning her to just try her hand at sneaking it out without Mum noticing. (The times I have had to return the ‘stolen goods’ or worse still fork out the cost of a half-eaten chocolate with the remainder smeared over face, hands and clothing)….and all this with just the first trolley-load of groceries. I have to brave it out at least one more time round and through the checkout again before I’m finished with my usual grocery shop for the family.
Mind you, I can get more in one trolley with the older kids (making it only 2 trolleys at most) but if I do, all of them have to come along. I then have SEVEN voices vying for my attention all at the same time ‘helping’ me shop with ‘we need this and that’ and a certainty of a ‘panic attack’ when I see the price tally running considerably higher than I budgeted due to items added to the trolley I hadn’t counted on.
If my eldest daughter goes solo with the grocery shopping – close encounters of the chocolate kind!
The battle of the ‘Confectionery War’ is lost for yet another time.
Confectionery marketers and supermarket managers – have a heart! Let chocolates be what they are meant to be – an ‘occasion’al treat and give us Mums a break – make them less enticing – no more ‘Bright and Beautiful’. PLEEEESE!!!! (accompanied by a ‘who can resist this smile’ smile).
Copyright 2005 Rebecca Laklem.
Whatever happened to the turkey burgers. Did they really take them back?
I have always heard that you should NEVER pray for patience, because God will send you the opportunity to work on developing it. I’m glad God is giving you the grace to deal with your very challenging little guy. I have a busy boy too, and I am always reminding myself that the strong will is often a good quality in adulthood. That doesn’t keep me from going INSANE some days, of course.
OK, you are the person I want to sit down and have a cup of coffee with…and just laugh. And we kinda do. Only you’re on the writing end and I’m sitting here with my cuppa joe laughing like crazy. All I did was get on my soapbox this morning on my blog. Makes me wanna go write something funny. I’m just sayin.
Have a better day (and thanks for the laugh!)
When I pray for patience, I get pregnant. I’ve stopped praying for patience, at least for now. There are plenty of other gifts/fruits of the Spirit I could work on.
Here’s the thing I’m stuck on… if your t-shirt was tied around your waist and then fell to your knees, that would mean you don’t have hips befitting a mom of three. My badonkadonk behind would never allow such a thing to happen. Oh, and sorry you had a bad day. Maybe some Benadryl next time?
I feel ya! I have two boys, 2 and 3 respectively. And when hubs is deployed, I am left to grocery shop with them, (while pregnant 30 wks thank you very much) NOT fun. The sudden I have to go POTTY NOW Mommy! And then back and forth with who is sitting where, front, back climbing over the seat. Grabbing things off the shelf if I get too close. Then the irritated glares from the grannies because I am SPOILING THEIR shopping experiences. And the well-meaning clerks who get in the faces of the boys and want to know why they are crying and giving mommy a hard time. Which only tends to make it worse.
Don’t feel bad about the “leash.” My mom used to have one for me, it was rainbow striped (I’m an 80′s child) and I had flame red hair that stuck out all over from my head, so it looked more like she was trailing a small orangutan than a child. And I hope you have a better day today too! Maybe you could try praying for impatience!
This was too cute!! AND TOTALLY RELATABLE (is that a word??)…what I mean to say is I CAN *SO* RELATE!! I will be making a trek out this afternoon for groceries with my crew…I will pray for patience…and perserverance!! Have a great day!!
You are a dream writer – and I can’t believe you wake up every day and have days like this.
And then have the wherewithal to write about them.
I’m with Lisa – what happened to the turkey burgers? (A YEAR? For crying out loud…)
No more patience! Pray for wisdom, anything else!
Oh, they gave me my money back, all right. At that point, I think they would have given me the entire contents of the cash register with no questions asked.
I am so glad I am not the only one who has this experience. Everytime I pray for patience – well enough said.
I look like a professional dog walker with the backpack/leash things because I make my five year old and three year old wear them – a teddy bear and monkey respectively. It never fails that we clear aisles coming through. Someone almost ALWAYS throws a huge fit and I am a bundle of suppressed breakdowns by the time we get to the car!
You are by far my favorite read of the day! Congrats on making it through this!
And this is why God invented good coffee, to keep us sane =))) Praying hubby returns soon (along with your sanity girl)
oh how I love this blog. I so needed this smile you gave me.
Thank you!
I loved the leash. People may have qualms about it, but it works!
Maybe you should join a co-op.
I keep telling my girlfriend there is MONEY in having your groceries DELIVERED!!! I would gladly pay to have them brought to my door to avoid the same thing although I only have one (quite the drama queen) I think I will try the leash! Can I use the dog’s??? Hahahahaha!
I suggest praying for a close-by relative (or *really* good friend) with enough free time to watch the kids while you go grocery shopping.
That, or find a 24-hour Wal-Mart so that you can drag the brood in at 3am and walk around the store while they’re hanging out of the cart snoring.
Before I became a mother, I used to criticize mothers who used a harness with a leash on their kids, thinking that they just didn’t know how to control their kids….that was until I found I needed one for my kids! They are great, I recommend them especially in crowds and when travelling on public transport etc.
I really enjoy reading your blog, it’s my favourite read. Keep it coming!
Oh girl, you should have picked up some wine while you were out too.
And I think getting God to chuckle is a feat to be admired. You go girl.
I have so been there! I do most of my shopping online now just to avoid going to the store – any store – with my three tornados, ages 6, 3 and 18 mo. If you have online grocery delivery, look into it! Most of the time, I don’t care if it costs more., which it doesn’t always.
Today I just had the two younger ones at Target and I’ve just gotten my period and all I want to do is be in bed! I hate going to the store.
I do love the leashes, though. I’ve used them with all my kids. I don’t care what people say, they’re about safety. My middle child would NOT hold anyone’s hand and had very selective hearing and would kick and scream if she was carried or in a stroller. Sooo, the leash came in very handy. I’ve actually had people thank me for controlling my children. Heh. If they only knew.
Great post!
Did he get a cookie?
You poor thing! I’m sorry that I’m chuckling at your trials! I learned a LONG time ago to never pray for patience! I find myself praying for self-control instead!
You know what I do with my guys (ages 5 and almost 2)? I open about half the food before we buy it. They eat a piece of bread, then we open the cereal, then they get into the crackers, then we get to the dairy case and they share a chocolate milk (I always pack straws in my purse) and then we swing by the bakery for a free cookie on our way to the checkout. Yes, I know people are judging me right now for feeding my kids so much, but it’s once a week! They get more than enough exercise to work it off AND it helps me to still be a nice person when we leave Kroger.
bless your heart! I feel for you. I have had trips like that too! I loved the attention to detail you discussed about your looks at the end of the shopping trip, I too have had glimpses of myself in the same “style” and believe it or not I walked out of the store one day in that “style” with three cranky kids and a baby I was watching and there was one of those “survey” people who looked at me with totally full arms pushing a cart and all and asked if I wanted to sign their petition for something stupid lol…I looked at him and said “are you kidding me?” your really asking me this? and then I walked on. i bet he learned his lesson.
but glad you made it through the shopping trip. you hang in there! your doing great! I think they should give out medals with vacations attached to them for any of us moms who have to endure a shopping trip like that. 
Jenna
Can I just applaud during the whole comment section?
(Clap-clap-clap-clap-clap)
Gayle
Wow! You should be the poster girl for patience after that experience!!!
Do you have peapod Delivery? it’s my only hope when Matt’s away. Also, amazon bulk delivery (bulk diapers!) I hate shopping with an audience and my middle child usually cries and attracts and audience, ugh, patience, let me try some of that….
Holy crap, you carried 38 pounds around the whole store? I guess you must build up your muscles as he grows. I know I can only carry my 35 pound 4-year-old for about 5 minutes before she’s on her own.
I agree with the other posters who suggested delivery is the way to go; especially with diapers!
I swear I would just wait and pay full price rather than go through that, lol. I’m definately not patient enough for it, because I’d pop his hiney too many times, lol. He’ll outgrow it eventually.
I’m a total cloth diaper nut, so I say “Go for it!” And I have tons of information for you, lol. Can’t help in the gardening area, I kill every plant I get.
“My cute little mommy ponytail had become a hood ornament on the side of my head.”
Oh my goodness DeeDee, you make me laugh harder than when I read Bill Cosby books. I can so picture you and I am dying again as I write this. My belly hurts. But it’s a good kinda hurt!
I so feel your pain.
I only go grocery shopping with the kids if it’s ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. If I cannot go alone then I take hubby along as backup.
If you can afford the luxury, Peapod is the way to go. Fresh groceries, straight from the warehouse, delivered to your house!! God is good.
Comments on this entry are closed.