I haven’t written much about Jensen’s ongoing escapades at the Sunday School Nursery. Mostly because he hasn’t been floating the nursery toys in the toilet, or entertaining everyone in the building with The Screaming, or even spit on the other little nursery attendees using their own sippy cups. All has been wonderfully quiet.
Until Mothers Day.
I got him all settled in on Sunday morning. He clung to me for all of 3 seconds, and then he was off and running. As long as the ladies keep a stash of Fruity Cheerios in the cabinet, he’s good to go. Now, two weeks ago, there was a slight panic. They gave him a cup of regular Cheerios, that only had one lonely Fruity Cheerio in it. He fished out the lone Fruity Cheerio, shoved it in his mouth and began protesting about the lack of more Fruity morsels of deliciousness. This could have ended badly, but out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a cute little 18 month old girl playing with his favorite carcar. So, all of his attention was directed at charming that little tiny girl into giving him the car. Fortunately, the Cheerio shortage was forgotten.
After this I make sure that my girls get to their respective classes. In other words, I tail them. And while I am in a checking on children mode, I always peek in on Jensen one last time before I head back over to the main sanctuary to settle in beside Fiddledaddy and commence to worshipping our Lord and Savior, and hear a totally awesome and inspiring sermon. Which our Pastor delivers. Every. Single. Week. He’s truly gifted.
My sister-in-law, Trish was with me, checking on her kids too, because we’re cut from the same overprotective cloth. Stealthily, we sneak past Jensen’s class. Since there is no audible screaming, I’m feeling pretty confident that everything is okay. As I pass the room, I catch sight of Jensen playing with something shiny. He’s completely mesmerized. Opening it, closing it, opening it, closing it. “Trish, what does he have in his hands?” There were three paid nursery workers and only about 5 kids. I heard the sound of my own voice saying, calmly, “Those are scissors.” More loudly, and a bit anxious, I hear myself say, “My son is playing with scissors.” And then shrill enough to startle anyone within earshot I shout, “DEAR LORD, YOU’RE LETTING MY SON PLAY WITH SCISSORS?” These weren’t a pair of innocuous child scissors, my friends. These were a good 8 inch long pointy scissors. The kind of scissors that I would keep on top of my computer cabinet at home and never let my children anywhere near. The kind of scissors that kill. I’m just sayin’. And he was playing with these things a good 40 seconds or more while I stood outside the room across the hall trying to figure out what he had in his hands.
When, oh when, will I start wearing my glasses.
The nursery worker hurriedly removed the scissors from Jensen’s grasp. As I was going to talk to her I saw that my son was drinking Kool Aid from not one, but two sippy cups belonging to other children. That did it. I tucked my son under my arm like a football, and gathered his Power Rangers backpack, scaled the baby gate, and headed to the Cry Room (which as you know, I affectionately refer to as HELL) in the main sanctuary. Where I thought I might have a good little cry. All I could think about was a story my mother-in-law told me years ago about a family she knew who had a small son who died from falling on a pair of scissors. Those kinds of stories just stick with me.
When Fiddledaddy learned of the incident, he went back over to the children’s building to have a word with the Coordinator. Who was very wonderful about the whole thing and assured us it would be dealt with.
I have yet to find the humor in this one, my friends. We’re not sure what we should do from here as far as entrusting our son to nursery care. We’re considering taking turns going to church, so one of us would stay home with Jensen, while the other takes the girls to their Sunday School class. At least until he gets a bit older. And no longer gravitates to all things dangerous. So, we may not be back in church together until the child leaves for college.
Any kind words of wisdom would certainly be appreciated!
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Why not just keep him in church with you two? Our church doesn’t have Sunday School during the service, because they want the children to be used to the service, to participate so it isn’t something they shift to as teenagers or adults, and because they want to welcome families, and large families. We’ve had our kids in the service with us since they were babies, and they do very well. We have to correct them sometimes, but they listen, pray along and sing with the church.
You might try that, rather than not go to church together as a family or miss it entirely.
DeeDee, do you own “The Power of a Praying Parent” by Stormie OMartian? My middle son was much like Jensen in his toddler years. Anyway, I love her prayer for Releasing My Child into God’s Hands. Chapter 2 She writes that when her first child was born she worried about ~everything~ until God reminded her that He cared even more about her son than she did.
Then she prayed. “Lord, my son is the biggest “care” I have, and I release him into Your hands. Only You can raise him right and truly keep him safe. I will no longer strive to do it all by myself but will enter into full partnership with You.”
I can’t count the number of times I have gone through that thought process. Now that my son is driving I constantly remind myself that prayer and God is the best insurance policy I”ll ever have.
Whenever she had fear for her child she would pray until she had peace. “This took the pressure off me and parenting became much more enjoyable.”
Besides God, you know Jensen best, and I’m sure you’ll make the right decision. Just remember that God is the most perfect babysitter of all. Other that that we just use the brains God gave us and do the best job we can to protect our little ones.
I hope this makes sense, as it is almost 1:30 AM now.
Dee, although I’ve been reading your blog for a while now, I typically hate to leave comments. Until today.
I have a 4 year old rambuctious boy who just cannot talk quietly no matter what I do. He also can’t sit still for more than five minutes. I. do. not. take. him. to. church. For a while, I took part in the co-op nursery (unpaid) at church. But not enough parents took advantage of it so it became three of us taking turns working, which kind of defeated the purpose of a co-op.
Anyway, I now go to a service with my 8 year old daughter when my husband can stay home with the boy. This is what is working for me now. I know there are plenty of people who believe that you should train kids from the beginning to be quiet and respectful in church, but it just doesn’t work for me. I have a hearing loss in one ear and when there is any kind of background noise (like babies crying) I can’t hear what the speaker is saying. Also, if I’m constantly telling my son to be quiet or answering his questions, I’m also not hearing what is happening during the service.
To me, this is punishing me and anyone else near me. I go to church to hear the readings and the sermon, not to “make an appearance.” I would rather miss a week than go knowing that I wouldn’t be able to catch a word being said.
Sorry this is so long-winded. It’s just that it’s been such a tough decision to go this route and being in church means so much to me, but it’s something I have to sacrifice every so often for my sanity. I also had a teacher tell me that we probably shouldn’t expect kids to be able to sit through service with a minimum of disturbances until they’re about 5 or 6 or in my son’s case, 18. (Of course, I know there are plenty of young ones who do fine, just not mine!)
Sorry – no advice. There was NO excuse for that. I’m just stunned! Would love to hear what the coordinator did about it though!
I have worked with children as a volunteer in the nursery at church, as a Sunday School teacher, and as a public school teacher. I know that we are all human and people make mistakes. But in this situation- there is NO excuse. Totally unacceptable, someone could have been seriously injured or worse. My child would NEVER go back to that nursery.
Bringing Jenson into service with you would only be distracting to you, Fiddledaddy, and everyone around you. If it were me we’d be taking turns staying home with him until he was old enough to go to Sunday School.
Let us know what you decide to do.
You did the right thing, I would “spy” the next few times if you can. You have a reason to be worried, there is a 6 year that just died because they were getting them down from the top of the refrig and fell with them in hand.
It was awful. YOU DID NOT OVER REACT!!!
Since you go to a church where the nursery workers are paid (which I personally find absurd), then the coordinator needs to make sure there are activities for the kids to participate in that relate to bible themes. I bet there is a great supply room with videos, puppets, stories, figurines, sing songs-simplistic, but related to why they are there. If nothing else, they could actually PLAY with the kids being that they are PAID and all. At our church, once a child is 3, they go to children’s church while services are going on. I think it is good for him to be there and don’t believe you have to sacrifice your going. (although I am not an advocate for forcing him at his age to be in the actual service; I am realistic, not sadistic.). I have a 2 year old boy’s boy myself! Hang in there!!
We have a 7,6,5 daugters so we did the nursery thing for a long time. I think that staying home in my opinion would work against you in the long run. Sunday worship and getting edified through the Word helps you make it through the week, especially when you have children…..really for that matter anytime. I am putting myself out here when I say we have a “real enemy” who would like nothing more then stop our progress at church and disrupt our times of learning and worship.
I know it is hard to trust a nursery worker…..it is hard to trust anyone with our children. God put them in our hands to take care of. We have to make tough descisons, but someone said it earlier. Deal with the nursery workers from the top down and then trust God for the rest. What a basket case we would be if we could not let God watch over our children. And then I would say for a long time. SPY SPY SPY SPY……you may get looked at as the crazy mother but who cares they are your children.
Our church has a nursery, but no attendants, so we just keep our kids with us. I have a bag of fun stuff, which I dole out bit by bit. Age 1-2 is the hardest, and sometimes we stand at the back of church for a bit if they are feeling restless. But usually by the time they are 2-1/2 they can make it thru church w/o too much stress. (our church last 1-1/4 hours)
All the parents at our church are working on training their kids to be in the service as a family, and the vast majority of kids do quite well at it by the age of 3. Makes for a little work between the ages of 1-3 , and since there are lots of little ones in our church, there’s always a bit of scuffling and some fussing (no one expects perfect silence from their little ones), and to me the training is well worth it to have the reward of being able to worship together as a family. Out of our 8 children, we occasionally have to stand at the back with the 2 year old, and now and then have to remind the 5 year old it is not conversation time (she’s chatty). But we have zero issues with anyone else. One thing that has really helped our prereaders particiation is teaching them some of the most commonly sung hymns at home. They love it when we sing a song they have memorized!
Mary
Oh my goodness – absolutely NO excuse…the fact that you were the one who noticed – and the fact that he was drinking from two cups – that speaks volumnes about their inattentiveness. However praise God that He caused you to walk by at that exact moment – not a coincidence. We went through stuff like this with my now five year old…she is/was a lot like your little guy and we stayed home or did alternating shifts. The one who was home watched it on TV. By the time she was three she could tell us what happened during her “Sunday School Class” and we closely monitored what was and what was not going on.
I also used to work in child care and if they think that you might be watching them at any given moment – trust me they will be extra careful and watch him even closer.
Hmmm… the scissors thing I think is pretty serious and hopefully the Director will address that and all the people in that particular room will be very aware of that sort of thing from now on. The cup thing… yuck, but I tend to tell myself kids that age, it just happens…they stick their hands in their mouth after touching the floor or whatever; a few more germs will just boost their immunity.
My kids are going to pick it up somewhere- at the grocery store or park if not at church.
You might need to assess what your long-term thoughts and hopes are for church… is it important to you that you all attend church? Is it important to you he have age-appropriate lessons? Is it important to you he get used to being with other teachers and kids? Do you think he is truly in danger or at risk? If so, then that needs to take precedence.
If it were me, I’d probably stick it out, recognizing that I screw up at least ten times a day myself, hope this situation actually improves the nursery, pray over my child, offer to help write up a nursery rule manual or something, and keep checking spying. Praising God with you that he is ok!
Oh my word. I audibly gasped when I read he was holding scissors!
I completely understand your pain. While nothing that dramatic has happened at our church, I have been really uneasy about dropping my 2 little ones off in ours, too. (We have 3 paid workers as well, when they all show up.) We have 2 small rooms that have been accommodating up to 18 children!
There are 4 and 5 year olds who have been let in there because their parents don’t want to deal with them during the service and it drives me nuts! My 3 year old and 19 month old really should not have to be dodging running 5 year old boys in a small space. I have done a lot of praying over how I can help fix the situation, but so far, God hasn’t given me any answers yet!
I was raised in our church and we’re not leaving, but to a visitor or someone who wasn’t set on staying, an unsafe nursery situtation is enough to send young parents running for the door. Let us know what you decide to do. Good luck!
Thank you all so much for your thoughts!!!
We have visited other churches that have a better handle on the child care situation, but the teaching is SO solid at our present church. And we’ve invested 8 years here, pushing for a better and safer invironment for the kids. (And I mean pushing to the extent of making a few people really angry.) I’ve been a volunteer teacher for 5 years, and I’m considering teaching again next year. A lot of safety concerns have been addressed and fixed, but the nursery at this particular service is problematic. But, starting in September it won’t be my problem as Jensen will be moving up to the 2 year old class. And that may be the class that I need to teach. Heavy sigh. The two year olds are a tough crowd! Especially mine. But, it’s an every other month commitment. And who knows, it could make for some very fun blog fodder.
As far as the sippy cup issue goes, I know, it happens. My own son licks the floor, for crying out loud! However, scissors of that type should never be in a children’s classroom. Especially within reach.
This really should have been a whole other post.
I’m verbose even in my own comments.
You’ve already gotten lots of advice, but I feel like adding my 2 cents. My kids (ages 3 1/2 and 1 1/2) are both having trouble with their Sunday School classes right now. We left a church we attended before my daughter was born and until she was 17 months old because she could not tolerate the nursery, and neither could I, for that matter. I felt judged and condemned constantly by the pastor’s wife and other mothers because I wouldn’t do things the way THEY expected me too. I couldn’t participate in the service and worship if I didn’t feel my kids were safe and not in misery. After all, I didn’t want them associating God with pain and misery! I imagine you cannot participate either if you are worried for your son’s safety.
We ultimately left as the problems could not seem to be solved, and we found a better church in which the pastor and his wife personally welcome us to keep our kids in the service if that is what is best for us and them.
We did go through a phase of taking turns attending church with our daughter when our son could not tolerate missing his morning nap and would bang his face into the floor. His needs took priority. I feel that family comes first. Yes, even before church. *gasp!*
I knew we were at the right church when I ran into the pastor’s wife one weekend at the local Stuff Mart and we started talking about these struggles and she stated that family is more important than church (SHE said it to ME first!) and that we needed to do what we felt was best for our own needs. I just bawled because it felt so good to be validated.
I say do whatever feels best and right for your situation and your family. Even if that means keeping your son in the service with you, taking turns attending, or even switching to a different church (after you’ve tried to the solve the nursery problems, of course). There’s not one single way or “right” way to manage it, but you will need to find the way that works best for your family.
I feel your pain! Since both my kids are currently refusing to be in their classes, they are sitting with us each week–except that my 1 1/2 year old son does not “sit” of course. It’s not without its own stress, but it’s the best option, and fortunately our church welcomes us regardless of what we choose.
Whoa. I am absolutely stunned about the whole situation. You definitely did the right thing.
My five year old is now expected to sit in the church service, which I see as a little harsh, but like you said, the preaching is sooo worth it. My two year old, however, would not make it. Keeping him in church with us would be a complete nightmare. Since you only have until September, I would totally take turns either staying home or sitting in hell – oops! I mean the cry room. Sure you’re giving up hearing the sermon for a while, but compared to Jensen’s safety? Not such a big sacrifice. (Our sermons are on podcast. Maybe yours are too? That helps when you have to miss.)
De-lurking to say oh my word. Honestly, I think that since the workers are paid, this one should be severly repremanded. Possibly told that her services are no longer needed, seeing as how small children and scissors are not a winning pair.
I do not think that you overreacted. I would do the exact same thing. I little boy at our church was once left on the church bus by the Asst. Pastor during the entire Christmas program (Chicago + winter= freezing cold). If it were mine, I quite possibly would have been looking for another church after I locked the Asst. Pastor in the van for 3 hours by himself in the cold. Not that I’m protective or anything.
DeeDee, believe it or not I am not sure what to say, except pray, pray, pray and seek God’s will in this situation. I would hate to see either of you missing out on being fed by what sounds like a fantastic pastor. What happened with Jensen is wrong and his safety does comes first.
Would it possible to go ahead and move him to the two year old class? Maybe the main teacher in there will know just the trick with Jensen.
I, too, will be praying for this.
I can’t help but to comment on this one. For one I can’t believe these people are getting paid. That’s unheard of, at least to me. Anyway, if he’s two and he’s in the classroom with peers his age, why on earth are there scissors around. I have worked in the nursery for years, but now that my kids are out of diapers, I can’t stand to change one. So therefore, I work the check in desk. Okay anyway, in every nursery I have been in, I have never seen scissors. My son is 4 and his class has scissors, but they are way up high in a cabinet in a container with a lid on it. They aren’t just laying around within a childs reach. Plus I am sure they are safety ones. That sounds that an oxymoron. SAFE SCISSORS. HMMM. Anyway, I would follow through with the childcare coordinator to find out what happened to the workers and to the monstorous scissors.
Keep going to church. Don’t give up.
Katy
I usually lurk too but I have to say I agree with Amy..perhaps you could request your wee one be moved up and offer to help in the class?
Especially since the help was paid, I would not let the issue go until I found out how the director dealt with the situation. Not for only your children’s sakes but for the others whose parents do not know what happened.
We dealt with something similar in a large church with paid staff except it wasn’t safety but plain old rude workers who told us if our child was going to cry, he wasn’t welcome to stay. Hubby and I took turns in the foyer every week. But, in my mind if I stayed home, Satan won. And once you get in the habit of staying home, it is sooo hard to get back. He will use the thing that defines each season of life to try to put a wedge in our worship and for young moms, those things are our children.
I pray this resolves for you!! I know, know, know how difficult this is..Let us know what you do!
Many Prayers!
Lisa
When our kids were small I would think, “To go to church and have my child with me to not hear the service or learn a thing or worship meaningfully kind of defeats the purpose of going to church.”
I feel so for you on this one. I have no answers. The baby comes first. This I know. This you know. Safety should not be a concern in a church nusery. I am so sorry.
I will tell you that I am a pastor’s wife. I have not sat in church with my husband for years. Some people know each of us for years and are amazed to discover we are married. Yet, my church experience is quite meaningful and fulfilling. SO maybe, for temporary, that would be the solution. Taking turns. Let us know what you decide. Sad.
Wow. This makes me glad that my church doesn’t even have a nursery!
My baby is 18 months old and very active. I won’t go to church if my husband can’t go, since I can’t keep a handle on him and the other two kids by myself. I don’t like missing church if I can at all help it – for me, it’s where I get refreshed and I believe that just my being there, even if I can barely participate, is a sacrifice to God and that He honors my heart’s desire to be there. And I can still receive communion, whether I hear the sermon or not, which is what I’m really there for anyway, although my pastor is a very gifted teacher.
But sometimes, it’s just too much and either my husband or I will stay home with the baby. It’s usually my husband, since he has a different need than I do for being in church. I know other parents who do this too and what we all try to remember is that it’s only for a season and eventually our kids will be better able to participate and we’ll all enjoy church together! I want my kids to look forward to church and not just see it as a time they get in trouble for being kids. Their need to learn discipline needs to be balanced by their ability to learn it.
I guess my advice is just to pray (as I’m sure you will) and do what is right for your whole family, including you!
I agree with all of those who stated the workers had no excuse for 8″ scissors even being in the room. That’s crazy.
Since I am the baby nursery overseer for our church (non-paid), I am in the nursery more often than I’m in the service. So, I make it a point to go to my Ladies’ Bible study mid-week. Fortunately, we usually have a couple of teenagers willing to watch the kiddos while I’m there.
If you decide to take turns with Fiddledaddy staying home, then maybe you could also take turns going to a mid-week service or Bible Study, to keep your cup full. I can’t make it more than about 4 days without going to church – I’d explode!
Hopefully, the nursery issues will be addressed promptly and carefully, and you will not have to worry about missing church at all (other than your visits to the cry room). I’ll pray for you guys.
A great book that addresses many concerns and opinions in these comments on Church attendence and little ones is Parenting in the Pew by Robbie Castleman. I heard her speak recently and the way she addresses this issue is so different than anything I’ve seen. I hope that you find a way that works for your family. By the way, I lurk and read all the time. I love to read your posts and usually laugh until in tears!
No advice for you today. At my church when they turn two they are sent out of the nursery and to Sunday school. Sorry, babe.
I have no wisdom for this one. We, too, are dealing with scary nurseries in trying to find a new church home. I have been appalled at some of the things I’ve seen, where I ended up NOT leaving my baby. Very frustrating.
Maybe he’ll move up into a better class situation.
And a cry room? So far, the places we’ve gone haven’t had one, but I’d try that. I’d actually prefer that any day to some of the caregivers we’ve come across. SCARY, isn’t it? Childcare is not THAT hard.
Sorry you’re dealing with this…..promotion day is soon, right?
I am with the others–pray. When He gives you wisdom on the situation then run with it.
We have been through many different situations–now we homechurch while we figure out how to handle Rachel’s struggles. Our church has their weekly sermons online so we listen to them there after having a small church service for the younger two (Rachel LOVES listening to sermons so she sits in with hubby and I).
Sweetie…the take turns idea is a fine one…get you some DVD’s of messages, talk to the staff at your church about getting your pastor’s sermons on mp3′s or DVD’s…teach Jensen some praise and worship tunes by worshiping with him at home…and pray that God send some attentive workers to that church nursery.
If you need ideas about DVD’s to get…fire me an email…I have lots!!
Sweet Jesus! That would most definitely have disturbed me to the hilt. Sorry I do not have any words of wisdom to impart. I do hope that you and your DH can once again enjoy service as one soon.
DeeDee, I haven’t been a good commenter lately, but I’m coming out of lurkdom for this one! I have to admit that I found Grayson rubbing Chris’ razor down his chin the other day–he climbed onto the cabinet and pulled it down from the back of the counter–and I think I lost about 5 years of my life in the seconds between seeing him with the razor and grabbing it out of his hand!
We are blessed to have a church with fantastic nursery and preschool facilities. I volunteer one hour a week with the crawling babies, and now that I’m in there, I see how excellently everything is done. That said, there have been a few times over the years that I have been unhappy with some aspect–a child whose diaper didn’t get changed, or one who didn’t get fed (We’re there for several hours because we have multiple services, and my kids are supposed to be fed during the second service), or a worker who got overly-aggravated when my two year old acted like a two year old. I’ve always talked to the actual worker, if possible, and then called the director to discuss it. I know from my years of being a teacher that remaining calm helps the situation, and that parents and teachers/workers, when working together, only make the environment better!
All that (very long comment!) to say that God will give you wisdom, if you are open to any solution He gives you, and that your experience very well may help create a safer, better nursery for your entire church. But I do think a little spying might be in order
Good luck on this–sometimes being a parent is so hard, and there is no perfect answer.
Hey there
I see you’ve already had some good comments, and I may just be adding a moot point, but my husband is a minister and I know that at our church, if a child’s safety is not being dealt with effectively by the PAID staff and the coordinator, then it’s time to do what they do in the business world..go up higher. Talk to some other parents and get their take, and then go to your pastor. If those workers are being paid, then it’s YOUR tithes that are being used, and you should be able to attend church and be spiritually fed without worrying over your child’s safety.
And I guarantee you any Pastor worth his salt wants his congregation to be able to attend worship with no distractions or worries.
Besides, I don’t believ most three year olds are mature enough to attend a church service long-term without being a distraction to you and others. ( I teach the 3-4 year old Sunday school class, so I have some experience in this, in addition to having a 3 year old myself.) And besides, it’s not fair to Jenson to have to be isolated from his own age group and the ability to be spiritually fed on his own level. Anymore that it’s fair for you and your husband to miss out on spending quality time worshiping together.
DeeDee — First, LOVE the website. Makes me LOL often. Thank you for this daily blessing.
Second, I have a 19 month old active little boy and a 5 year old. Our church nursery is staffed by volunteers (usually parents or older ladies in the church) and everyone does a great job. The concept of paid workers in a nursery is foriegn to me except for very special occasions.
We expect our 5 year old to sit quietly in church and play with things in her church bag. She chooses quiet toys and we usually have just special toys for church only. My younger one we also have quiet toys and snacks for him during the church service. He stays in as long as he can handle it. Sometimes it’s 30 minutes sometimes only 5. Either way they are learning what behavior is expected in church — just like we have expected behaviors for the playground, in the house, at dinner, etc.
I guess when I became a mother who attends church, I accepted the fact that for the next several years I wasn’t going to get much out of the service personally. That is what my Bible study, small group, and Sunday School is for. What I am doing is teaching my children that worship is an important part of our lives and it makes God happy when we are there. I know that this is only a season and eventually I can play a more active part of the service.
Blessings to you and you are in my prayers.
Hi Dee,
i am totally new to this, but wanted to let you know there are other “Jensen”s out there. Mine is named Tanner but they sound like 2 of a kind. Tanner finally started sleeping thru the night completely more than twice in a row since he turned 3 at the end of march. we still dont go more than a week at a time without someone making a foray into my room at least once a night. Anyway just wanted you to know I have laughed more at your blog in recent weeks than i have laughed in forever and it helps so much to know someone else out there has a child w/ as much energy as mine….
I disagree with many of the posters. Sorry, but this is a church, not a daycare center. It was inexcusable, and scissors have no reason to be in a clas of kids that age. True. But isn’t this CHURCH?
God forgave each of us much worse. And those workers will NOT let that happen again, don’t you think? Surely forgiving them once for something is nothing compared to how many times Jesus asked us to forgive our brothers, or how many times Jesus forgave us.
But I do agree that we all need to release our children. I had to do that as my kids got older. I had to give them to God and LEAVE them there. I can’t possibly love them as much as God does, so why don’t I trust Him to make sure that only His will happens to them? I don’t even sweat when my kids drive a car without me for the first time, or are late or…. you know. I trust God. It was hard, but I don’t take it back.
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