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“Dear Toothfairy, Keep Your Day Job”

Emme lost another tooth. If she keeps losing teeth at this rate, I’m going to have to start feeding her a steady diet of porridge and take out a loan.

After a week of watching this snaggled tooth, so loose that it hung out of her mouth, and listening to much wailing and gnashing of other baby teeth, she finally yanked the thing out of her head. We all offered to do it for her. The list included parents, cousins, and a couple of aunts. Just so the complaining might stop. Cailey especially was eager to give it a try. “Emme, just let ME do it!” she a little too gleefully hounded. Ad nauseum, as she followed her sister around each day. Hoping above all hopes that her big sister would change her mind, and her mother would grant her the use of pliers.

No such luck.

The adult tooth was impatient, waiting for the baby tooth to fall out. So, it’s my theory that Adult Tooth just shoved Baby Tooth out of Emme’s mouth, as it is already halfway up. We placed the tiny tooth in a sandwich baggy and I wrote Emme’s name and the date on the outside. I expect to have many such baggies before the three children reach puberty. This is a wonderfully clever way I’ve found to keep track of the teeth, and idea that I got from Meritt quite a while back.

After the extraction or murder (depending on how you look at it), Emme sat down to pencil a letter to the Toothfairy. We’re beginning to study Writing Composition, and the timing couldn’t have been more perfect. The letter was two pages long. She had quite a lot to tell the Toothfairy, evidently. Mostly about the pain and suffering she endured waiting for the tooth to fall out. She took her two page letter and baggied tooth, and placed them under her pillow. To await the Toothfairy.

Who never came.

You see, the Toothfairy hasn’t been getting much sleep lately, and isn’t quite up on her game. It was another rough night with Jensen, and when I stumbled out of the master suite this morning, I remembered. Oh no. Emme was already up having her “coffee” with Fiddledaddy in the front reading room. Her “coffee” consists of whole milk in one of my favorite coffee mugs. This makes her feel very civilized and mature.

Maybe she forgot. I know. But a mommy can dream. I rifled through my purse and could only find a five spot and some change. I considered just using the five dollar bill, perhaps to alleviate some of the guilt, but reconsidered. This would be setting a precedence that I might never financially recover from. Do the math. Each kid has about 20 teeth to lose. Times three kids. I then raided Fiddledaddy’s cash stash and only came up with a five plus change. But I was able to put all the change together to make one dollar. I stuffed the coins into a sandwich baggy, labeled with her name and date, and quickly scribbled a note which cleverly said something like “Good job Emme! T.F.” And stealthily tiptoed into her room to make the exchange hoping she would think that she overlooked it.

Later I found out that she did indeed notice the absence of money under her pillow and sadly reported her findings to Fiddledaddy. He offered two explanations. “Probably the Toothfairy had a really rough night and couldn’t make it.” She looked at him doubtfully. So, then he added:

“Or the Toothfairy heard Jensen screaming and it scared her off.”

A more plausible reason for a 7 year old, I think. Thusly taking the heat off of the poor bedraggled toothfairy. But then, when Emme went to make her bed, she found her baggy of loose change and the note. Excitedly she came running out of her room. “She came, she came after all!”

No questions asked.

A tired tardy toothfairy is better than no toothfairy at all.

31 Responses to “Dear Toothfairy, Keep Your Day Job”

  • The toothfairy has been slipping this past year…. one night… she didn’t come here… actually, THREE NIGHTS IN A ROW she didn’t come here… and on the 4th day, she came while the kids were at school and I was at a lunch meeting…

    She’s also a real stickler for the tooth being UNDER The pillow… if it falls to the floor she’ll just leave it and make you try another night… lol…

    i’m so glad I’m not the only one… 🙂


  • I messed up and the tooth fairy was late too. I put the bucks under the pillow and told Jon that he must have missed it when he checked. He bought it. It’s a sad state of affairs when I have to make an effort just to stay up later than my kids!

  • That Tooth Fairy really is slack, isn’t she?! She’s done that twice at my house, too. Fortunately, she’s been able to sneak to my daughter’s bathroom & leave the money with her toothbrush, with a note explaining that she didn’t want to wake the light sleeper. ;p

  • It seems the tooth fairy is really having issues with her job, as she has also been somewhat lax / sneaky at times here in our home as well! 🙂

    And you keep your kids’ teeth?

  • wow good recovery! The toothfairie missed a night here too and so the toothfairie “called mommy” to tell her that there was a lot of babies born that night before and she did not have time to make it but for sure would be there the next night. daughter was not all that convinced, however when the tooth fairie “did” come the next night she also left a handwritten note apologizing to daughter. That really worked. she not only had the cash but she had a personal note! lol

    also we always put the lost tooth in a jar of water on the window sill so the toothfairie can find it easier and it is easier for her to get in and out with out waking little ones up. 🙂

  • It’s a rite of parenthood. You’re not the “real deal” until you’ve let the toothfairy fall down on her job at least once.

  • I volunteer to pull her next tooth! I LOVE pulling teeth. I do so enjoy the crackling sound it makes :o)

    When I was around 7 my brother convinced me that there was a Hair Fairy. All I had to do was collect all the hair from my hairbrush for a whole week. Having long locks I had a lot of hair by the end of the week. My brother watched me everyday as I pulled the hair out of the brush and placed it under my pillow. Finally after a week my Hair Fairy did indeed come! I showed my brother my shiny new half dollar and he was so suprised. He told me then that it was a joke. Seems my mom caught wind of it and didn’t want to disappoint me! Mom also told me that what she had heard was The Hair Fairy was a once in a lifetime deal. I guess I should have saved it for a year!

  • i haven’t had to experience this yet.
    but i don’t look forward to anything that requires losing more sleep.


  • Our toothfairy had this same problem on a number of occasions – we tried to pass it off that the toothfairy was really, really busy! I don’t know if they bought it, but if they didn’t they were smart enough to pretend so that the tooth fairy kept visiting.

    Good thing you held out on that fiver! I think by the end we were giving $3/tooth to our youngest – she couldn’t wait to lose a tooth…..lol!

  • The Tooth Fairy has been known to be very lame at my house. I once told my youngest daughter that the Tooth Fairy did not work on Sundays to cover for my forgetfulness, which was about the saddest lie that I ever told, in my opinion. I still have guilt.

  • Emme wrote a 2-page letter to the Toothfairy? Wow! That’s a mouthful…no pun intended. 🙂

    Glad the T.F. arrived eventually. Better late than never!

    We’re still waiting for Snuggle Bug’s 2-year molars to come in so the T.F. won’t be visiting our household for a few years yet.

  • I have not had to do the tooth fairy gig yet. In fact, I’m not sure my oldest knows about the tooth fairy. Maybe I can skate through without doling out cash. Or not. We’ll see.

    Were you not at all worried that she would recognize the writing on the baggie as being the same as on the tooth baggie?

  • Hooray for the tooth fairy and for kids that a $1 is still a huge fortune..even if it is late.

  • I was so thankful last spring when , after a marathon winter of tooth losing, my 9 year old lost her last precious baby tooth. The tooth fairy was going broke! Fortunately, ahem, the money saved from the tooth fairy visits can now conveniently by shared with the orthodontist to pay for the braces on all those beautiful adult teeth:-)

    (A friend of mine’s daughter lost her tooth the night before Easter , and the mom said she hoped the tooth fairy and Easter bunny didn’t collide on the stairs!)

  • Even the toothfairy needs sleep! 🙂

    Have a good day,

  • ROFLOL! The tooth fairy once forgot to do her banking at our house too. My dd had a major ‘tude about it, which cracked me up since she long ago had ‘fessed up that she knows her dad is the tooth fairy (that visual alone brings laughing tears to my eyes). Her logic? “Mom, p-lease! I know Dad’s the tooth fairy because there’s no way a dinky little fairy could fly around my room. She wouldn’t be able to see with that $5 bill flappin’ around in her face.”

    I wanted to say, “Good thing DAD is your outsted tooth fairy then, because MOM tooth fairies don’t have any $5 bill visibility problems. Nooooo, missy. They do have gravitational issues though, what with those nickles weighing them down so.”

  • Lisa,
    Oh yes, in the time honored tradition of my packrat ancestors, I will be keeping the teeth. My mother kept mine. I still have them. In fact, after my mother died, I discovered an envelope of gold filled teeth. Checking around, I have since discovered that they belonged to her father. He wanted them extracted after he died, because he was practical like that. And yes, I still have those as well.

    Much to my husband’s horror.

  • Our first TF visit came after a visit to the oral surgeon when DS1 forgot the brakes on his bike and used his face instead. Oops. He’s working on a loose tooth right now, so I’m sure we’ll have an authentic, natural, non-surgical, lost tooth soon.

    Oh, and I am SO keeping the line about the baby screaming and scaring TF off!!!

  • The TF didn’t show up when my son lost his very.first.tooth. It was New Year’s Eve and Hubs and I had been up a little late and I just forgot. Early in the morning I was greeted by a teary-eyed five-year-old telling me the TF didn’t come. Fortunately, we’d had a big snowstorm that night and so we told him the TF got stuck in the snow. He bought it. The TF made it in record time the next night!

    What a hoot. I love the line about the baby scaring away the TF. What a funny post!

  • That’s the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothin’ but the tooth…right?!

  • I’m not to the toothfairy stage yet, but you have inspired me. I hope it’s as fun as you make it sound. Yes, I really mean that. 🙂

  • Well Amen to all the fellow moms who have forgotten to leave the “big bucks” to their dear child who lost a tooth. I am just as guilty as everyone else, yet I usually say something to the effect, “Oh no, not again, you must have bumped the money off your bed in the middle of the night. Let’s go look under the bed.” And as I am looking, I stash the dollar under the bed somewhere. Now they are onto the TF, so they look under the bed for the money. And can’t find it,so mom must go and find it. Life is never dull with kids!
    Thanks for a fun post!! 🙂

  • We use the baggies, and our kids write letters to the TF. Then, when I go in for “just one more” goodnight hug, I slip a baggie with the $$ and a note from TF under the pillow and grab the baggie with the tooth while I’m lingering over a nice long hug.

    4 kids, 40+ teeth and counting, and we haven’t missed one yet. And I don’t have to wait for them to go to sleep.

    If they feel under the pillow and discover the treasure, they’re completely amazed that TF without being seen.

  • From your post, comments already posted and the fact the the Tooth Fairy missed our house two nights in a row last week, I am thinking that we should all get together and find out what’s going on!

  • I recently posted about a similar incident at our house. Our tooth fairy was held up because of a really bad storm and you know they can’t really get around that well in the rain because they’re so small. And when she forgot, the next night she came and brought extra cash to make up for her delay.
    I’m just glad to learn that there are other tooth fairies out there as goofy (and sleep deprived) as ours. 🙂

  • I have now appointed my husband to be the tooth fairy in our house because just recently our seven-year-old son lost his tooth and the tooth fairy didn’t come. He was pretty disappointed, poor thing. Being in my first trimester, I conk out as soon as my head hits the pillow. Your post made me smile.

  • Oh, so been there done that. And I’ve always feared Santa would pass out and not make an appearance. Stressful thought.

  • Must be something going around with the toothfairy these days! She forgot to show up at our house last weekend, too. Then she came later in the day!

  • BTDT lol With 3 kids and my insane life I have so missed a few times. I have used excuses like “oh the tf doesn’t work on holidays, weekends etc” or “dangit I think I forgot to forward our new Oklahoma address”…honestly I will be so glad when they are old enough to just ask for the money and no longer believe in the tf:-P

  • ROTFL!! This has happened several times here – so much so that I had to CALL the TF to tell her to shape up. Poor Hubbers didn’t know what I was talking about for a while…

  • Ah yes – the tooth fairy. Surprising my hubby never had one when he was small so was surprised when I told him I was planning on keeping up the tradition. I think a little magic (even late magic) is important in the lives of our kids.