Zorro Rides Again
April 25th, 2007 by FiddledeedeeI’m a light sleeper. I always have been. All conditions must be perfect in order for me to find slumber. My sleep number bed is set to the proper degree of softness. I have my favorite pillow hollowed out to fit my big fat head exactly. The white noise is fixed at the perfect decibel. And all is right with the world. Except for one
thing. Well, really two things. The two year old NOT sleeping down the hall, and any kind of light will keep me awake. Even the light up dial on the digital alarm clock. I’ve solved the problem by wearing a black slumber mask. Call me Zorro, if you will. Without eye holes.
But then, the mask disappeared.
Emme was sick last week, so we all played musical beds for a few nights. In the shuffle, the mask went missing. I searched the house from top to bottom. No Zorro mask. I even tried fashioning a black headband into an eye mask. It just cut off the circulation by squeezing my head. That’s never good.
Enter Fiddledaddy.
After the children were asleep, he offered to drive to Wal•Mart for a replacement mask. He has learned after 10 years of marriage, that if momma isn’t happy, ain’t nobody gonna be happy. So, he saved the day, or night as it were, by bringing me home a deluxe slumber mask. It is by Protégé and is called the Contoured Eye Mask. It even comes with complementary ear plugs. Which may just solve the problem of the two year old. Y’all, this is the top of the line in eye mask fashion. It is molded and “allows you the capability to open, close or move your eyelids.” It is even adjustable, so as to not squeeze my head. And it cost less than five dollars.
When my daughter spied it the next morning, she exclaimed, “Mommy, is that your booby caps?” If you’ll recall, “booby caps” is code for bra at our house. I guess if one is desperate, it could be converted into a strapless bra. If you’re 7.
I am a vision of beauty at night now. With my contoured black slumber mask, retainer firmly placed on my pearly whites, feet besocked after first being slathered by Crisco, and hands housed in white cotton gloves. It’s easy to understand why Fiddledaddy continues to sleep in the bed next to me. Lucky lucky man.
So, if you’re like me and are a light sleeper, try a slumber mask. But if you have to make a mad dash down the hall to tend to a two year old, don’t forget to take it off first. I’m just sayin’.
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Posted in Works For Me Wednesday | 17 Comments »
April 25th, 2007 at 5:16 am
I will have to look for that brand at WalMart. I always use one, but the cheap one I got last time is so stretched out it is awful.
April 25th, 2007 at 6:21 am
hmmmm… this is something to check out. From one Zorro’s mouth, to another Zorro’s ears =))
April 25th, 2007 at 7:04 am
You are writing about a sleep mask and I’m cracking up for goodness sake! I don’t even wear one. I am such an easy sleeper that I can sleep so long as someone isn’t actually hitting me or shouting in my ears, but your writing about the sleep mask makes me want to go buy one! Great blogger, love to read your adventures!
April 25th, 2007 at 8:08 am
Oh, and I can get one at Wal-Mart–my second favorite store!
I don’t think it will solve my sleep woes, but you never know. My problem is I just can’t sleep most of the time. But when I do…waking me is hard. Now I can nap on a Sunday afternoon on the couch with two exploding boys crashing through the living room jumping off the other furniture.
I am sure Fiddledaddy thinks you look lovely and very mysterious in your night attire.
~Blessings~
April 25th, 2007 at 8:29 am
My husband waits until the kids are in bed, too. Any thing I need, he will run, well-drive, to Wal*Mart to retrieve for me. My hero!
April 25th, 2007 at 8:54 am
I’ll have to try a slumber mask – I have a plain old white one and I if there is any light I still have to squeeze my eyes shut so I don’t see any light – the ear plugs wow, that’s what I’m talking about. I always hear our DD when she gets up she thumps around the house and wakes everyone up even on Saturday.
April 25th, 2007 at 9:09 am
Gotta love Wal-Mart! [Or "Wal-Marts" as my southern aunt calls it] And please tell me you were kidding about the Crisco?
April 25th, 2007 at 9:56 am
That’s funny that you posted this today. My daughter wears one and I used it today as my wordless wednesday. It’s not a fancy one like yours though.
I can’t stand anything on my eyes when I sleep, or my feet for that matter.
Michelle
April 25th, 2007 at 12:07 pm
Not me. I sleep like the dead. In fact I had a dream last night I found a dead body outside my bedroom window. 8^0
April 25th, 2007 at 1:13 pm
You crack me up. I even knew about the crisco but still laughed out loud when you mentioned it. You are one hot mama!
April 25th, 2007 at 3:06 pm
Well, you know, you just have to make darn sure that its “cheaper to keep her” when you have such a bedtime routine, lol. Or, just be that hot when the stuff is off, hehe.
April 25th, 2007 at 4:27 pm
Okay, I confess: I have been a bad blog reader. I have been an even worse blog commenter.
Now that that’s off my chest, I have to tell you that I saw your oh-so-cute self at Faith Lifts and was wholly impressed. Even the Zorro mask can’t hide that:)
And I’m sorry to hear about your van/dalism woes. If I had to stay home for an entire week without going past the mailbox, I’d spend the following week committed somewhere. With lots of Diet Coke
April 25th, 2007 at 7:07 pm
This one hit home. I don’t get bothered my light, but I am bothered by noise. I wear ear plugs and have for years. I have wondered at the raving beauty that I must be at bedtime, with my ear plugs, and my nose tape to help me breathe, and of course my socks on my Crisco covered feet too (well, I have to admit I use cream). After 26 years of marriage I haven’t heard any complaints. I think it is because the ear plugs were originally to shut out his snoring, and saved him from the kicks in the middle of the night to make him turn over
April 25th, 2007 at 8:11 pm
So funny! I wear ear plugs every night. I started wearing them since my hubby snores/breathes loudly and now I can’t sleep without them even if I sleep alone when he’s gone. Love the quiet. I’ll have to look for this new mask. Thanks for the idea and the chuckle today.
April 25th, 2007 at 9:05 pm
Okay, I may have to pick up one of those masks for my next 15 hour flight. Great idea!!
And, how do the Crisco socks factor into the “mad dash” down the hall? Be careful now!
April 25th, 2007 at 10:44 pm
Hey if it makes you feel any better I have a big ole fat head too! Hats never fit my head!!
Laura
April 26th, 2007 at 7:09 am
“She heard Jensen screaming and it scared her off” …that is hysterical!!!
Cute story.