Yesterday afternoon I saw Cailey dart down the hall after exiting Jensen’s room. All was peaceful. Odd. “Cailey, where’s Jensen?” I call after her. “I dunno,” she replies, settling herself into her favorite chair. An investigation is warranted. Judging from the quiet. I walk down the hall into Jensen’s room. No Jensen. I walk over to his closed closet bi-folding door and open it. I hear a gasp within. As the light shines into the closet, I see a wide eyed Jensen standing there, wearing his “My Mom Thinks I’m Cute” bib, clutching his bottle of Neutrogena lotion in both hands, with the evidence dribbling from his lips, down his chin, and onto his bib.
He’s an addict.
As was documented in this post written a few weeks ago, this has been an ongoing problem. Afterward, I wised up and began storing the coveted pump bottle way up above his little grasp. However, someone must have retrieved it for him. The most likely suspect goes by the name “Cailey” and is a well known enabler in this house. She stands 4 feet tall, has sparkling mischievous light blue eyes, long strawberry blonde hair, dimples, and freckles. She, by the evidence I’ve witnessed, is his supplier.
As with any addiction, once you start sneaking into the dark of the closet to act upon your impulses, and it is a known fact that you are even afraid of the dark, you have a real problem.
But don’t we all? Really, it’s only a matter of time before Fiddledaddy stumbles upon me, in the dark of my closet, wearing my “I Use To Be Cute” bib, clutching an empty container of Ben & Jerrys. And a spoon.
Confession time. When the light shines in the dark recesses of your closet, what would we find you with? And don’t forget, y’all, this is a family-friendly blog.
{ 39 comments }
Me? No skeletons. Starbucks coffee, and Reeses peanut butter cups (the latter can only be found in the US to my knowledge and I am an Australian living in Thailand). Both are a rare comodity for me.
BTW, Silence can be very loud can’t it?!!
Blessings,
Bec.
http://www.askbec.blogspot.com
Leftover rolos from Easter baskets, individually wrapped.
I realized I had a problem last week when I waited for my husband to go upstairs for something and then quietly unwrapped the aluminum covering so it’s noise wouldn’t give me away. Then I hid the wrapper under a cushion when he quickly returned.
But it isn’t a problem, really. I am just shy about consuming yummy chocolate and caramel in front of others. Really.
Blessings!
Kelly
Oh, I know what would be found and it ain’t pretty. I would be hunched over the latest issue of US Weekly, scarfing the rest of the bag of gourmet chocolate covered raisins that is taunting me from the kids Easter stash. And don’t worry, Kelly, you aren’t the only one who unwraps in solitude to avoid detection. And you aren’t the only one who guiltily buries the evidence in the guest bathrom trash under a pile of tissues.
I’m glad it’s not just me who sneaks her treats and hides the evidence. Unfortunately I’m teaching my daughter to do the same, (except she isn;t very good about hiding the contraband). My hubby has a thing about no sweets in the house, he’s very health concious and after all these years still does’t understand anything about PMS cravings.
Wow, he is an addict.
You’d find me with something containing chocolate and something containing peanut butter. But, when you find me, just close the door and walk away. I cherish the moments in my closet.
thanks.
hehee..
Ummm my laptop??
I don’t think I hide my addictions, because our computer is right in the living room. I have to keep mine out in the open. Its a bummer, really, because the kids call me on it all the time, but I don’t care, I blog when I want to. And my cloth diaper buying addiction, can’t hide that either, the kids get the mail and see the packages.
I would be hiding in a pile of wrappers from various ho-ho’s, candy bars, and powdered donuts while reading every gossipy magazine known to man and listening to beyonce’s “irreplaceable” singing “to the left to the left” over and over.
Chocolate, Dr. Pepper, Cheetos Puffs and a book. But I consume all that on my couch in plain view sometimes.
I would definitely be caught with brownie mix. You know…….the kind that’s ready to be poured in the ban for baking, but never quite makes it there.
You know, I would rad the label and look for specific nutrients he might be short on. Sounds like a vitamin deficiency–esepcially with the screaming and all. My middle child used to scream all the time, and be covered with exzema and would eat certain foods non-stop (especially the blueberry pie and chocolate cake she consumed while sitting in the middle of the kitchen table). We discovered she had severe food allergies–to corn and rice, and after tryng elimination which helped found more. She was still off the wall however. Then we discovered food enzymes and found out what a sweet, smart kid she is, and the screaming stopped as did the weird food issues–she used to eat EVERYTHING including a whole bottle of Benedryl. What we found was that she wasn’t getting certain vitamins because her body wasn’t using the foods right–called leaky gut from Candida. The foods with the vitamins she needed were leaking instead into her blood stream and causing irritation–eczema and stamach issues and thhus screaming. Anyway, once we had the enzymes her body healed itself and she quit with the screaming (and the eczema went away completely.)
So about addictions, thrift shopping for clothes. I adore clothes and shoes and have very hard time dropping things off at the thrift shop without going in to see if anything funky has shown up.
The bags I bring home from Hobby Lobby & the Half Price Bookstore.
You’d think it would be the chocolate, but when I figured out they all knew and didn’t care, I gave up the pretense.
Ice cream. Chocolate. And whatever TV show I happen to be addicted to at the time. Sad, really.
For me it would be Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey and a juicy Romance novel. Except I prefer a hot bubble bath to hang out in than a closet..and maybe we can add some candles for light, and some soft music..hmmm..this is sounding good…
At the moment? Doritos. Preferably infused with extra carbs, if possible.
hmm. That’s a hard one. After I had my son (who is now 14 mo old), I went totally WILD with food. I was so careful during my pregnancy, but about 3-4 months later, you just might catch me with Twix, plenty of Dr Peppers, and definitely icecream in some chocolate form. Whether it was vanilla with chocolate syrup poured on it, or regular chocolate, or vanilla with Ovaltine on it……………. In addition to those addictions, I’m totally addicted to these funny blogs!!
Hi! Just wanted to let you know that you’ve been given a Thinking Blogger Award over at There’s A Frog in My Soup – http://www.afroginmysoup.com/2007/04/thinking-blogger-award.html!
I love reading, but have so much to do each day and rarely get it all done, but…I have a book stash in the bathroom, and when things (kids) are getting to me, I hide in the bathroom and read a chapter…or two!
Ummm…you’d probably find me in there with my laptop (assuming my wireless internet connection would work) and chocolate!
Pillsbury Frozen Cookie Dough…chocolate chip and Dr. Pepper!!
This story reminded me of my old childhood pets. Our lovely little mess of a dog, Dolly, used to hide a variety of goodies, (including my mother’s expensive diet chocolate cupcakes) in the sofa, which, luckily, was brown (it was the eighties). We could never figure out how she got things off the counter until we caught our CAT in the act of batting something down to her! It was so strange, because they weren’t even friends!
As for me? I have three words for you: Diet. Cherry. Coke.
I usually open my first (of three, four, or five) can by nine in the morning. Drinking soda this early in the morning feels SO uncivilized, and so for months I tried to sneak in the kitchen and quietly ‘pop’ the top and then leave it in a discreet place and just casually take a sip whilst walking through the kitchen.
But now I’m out of the closet.
Oh, my newest addiction is these little chocolate, marshmallow and graham cookies from Wal*Mart. Oh, I could eat the whole bag at one time (and for 94 cents a bag, why the heck not), but the most I’ve ever eaten at once is 3 because Sweet Hubby starts looking at me funny when I ask for a third.
Chocolate and Mt. Dew…….I wouldn’t make it long without the 2 of them!!
Oh my word. You guys are cracking me up!!
And making me really really hungry.
And I got to thinking about two things which I don’t indulge in anymore, but would dearly love to. Dr. Pepper and chocolate cake mix! Yummy.
an entire baguette of french bread with alouette creme of brie cheese. and a cherry/coke slurpee to wash it down. hey – don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it. actually, don’t knock at all. i like it here in the closet.
You will find me in my room, door shut, lights dim, cracking open my Diet Vanilla Pepsi (probably my fourth of the day)…reorganizing my books, gazing lovingly at the glossy covers, pulling one down and stroking it with a sigh, and then stacking my “to be read” pile according to reading importance, then thumbing through my most recent purchases, before finally putting them all up, and crying “I can’t find anything to read!”
Choice can be overwhelming:-)
You will never find anything in my padded walk in closet because I’m good at hiding my NOS energy drinks and my new love for dark chocolate.
Hey, while you’re peeking in would you please hand me a baby wipe for my face? Oh, and can you throw away these empty cans and maybe a few of the wrappers too? Thanks!
Considering the fact that I’m on a diet and just scarfed down two PB and J’s while no one was looking….I’m thinkin’ that’s it!
Gayle
butterfinger blizzards, and peanut butter cream pie, and cool ranch doritos, and a laptop…
This is a hilarious post! I can just see Jensen standing there with the evidence all over the place.
I have been known to ‘closet eat’ not literally but where no one would know what I consumed. I had plenty of Magic Moment pudding cups hidden all over the place.
If I was to eat something in secret now you’d probably find me with a huge bowl of Nestles’s real dairy French Vanilla ice cream, a tall glass of pepsi with ice and cheetos cheezies or maybe Hawkins…….mmmmmmm cheeezies! Yeah that’s what I’d be doing and I’d be sure to do it quietly so I don’t have to share….lol!
Probaby chocolate creme oreos, if I have a sweet tooth. If I want something salty, probably Cheetos puffs or Nacho Cheese Doritos. Or McDonald’s fries. No ketchup, thankyouverymuch.
If I can’t decide, then it’s the Swiss Mix trail mix by Anne’s House of Nuts.
I can eat alot more than I really should easily.
A laptop with Bloglines on the screen. An iced tea. And darned if I am not a sucker for ice cream myself.
I feel your pain. I have a lotion eater too.
In the bath tub I have to confiscate the soap pumper thingie or my baby tries to suck the soap out of it.
Do babies not have taste buds? That stuff tastes nasty!
Chocolate chip cookies and a large pizza … this week … I’m hormonal!
Betty Crocker peanut butter cookies (the quick mix), a glass of milk and something good to read. I actually bake whole batches and hide the container. Hint: bake early before anyone gets home and sniffs you out!
Mrs. Bairds little white donuts…yummm!!!
Whoooo boy. I think I’m with you, Ben and Jerry’s (New York Super Fudge Chunk….ooooo lala) and a spoon.
Oh and don’t forget the venti, decaf, extra hot, skinny mocha, no whip.
So he eats Neutrogena? Bleck.
Organizing baskets of course….and lots of them…I’d be sitting on them, have them all around me and one on my head…you know just for fun….lol!!
Laura
Milano cookies. The whole bag.
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