Another Weapon In Her Arsenal
April 16th, 2007 by FiddledeedeeLast night, I was sitting at my computer checking my stats catching up on the news. My water glass from dinner was on the table behind me. Cailey says, “Um, Mom?” I turn and she’s leaning on the table staring into my water glass. She looks up at me with shining blue eyes and continues, “Um, I think there’s a thinger nail in your cup.” “What?” She repeats herself enunciating e•v•e•r•y syllable, “There’s a thinger nail in your cup.” I’m not wearing my glasses, but I humor her and look in my cup. “I don’t see a finger nail in my cup Cailey.” “It’s right THERE, sticking up by the ice cube.” Remembering that Cailey has a rather clever method of exacting revenge, I asked her, “Cailey, how would a finger nail get into my water glass?” “I dunno.”
She leaves the room for a few minutes. In the meantime, I dump out my water cup into the sink, and sure enough, stuck to the bottom are two tiny Cailey sized finger nails. I rinse out the cup. Two or twelve times. And refill it. I go back to the table. When Cailey returns, I take a long drink of water. She halts in her tracks, staring at me wide eyed. I sat my glass back down on the table and began choking and gagging. Falling to the floor for effect. She was frozen. “Mom, are you all right?” “I don’t know,” I gasped, “I think I just swallowed a finger nail.” “I told you so,” she says as she reaches for her own cup to take a swig. And she immediately begins coughing as well. “There must have been one in mine, too.” Perhaps attempting to deflect guilt? And with that she leaves the room. Fast.
I wonder to myself how a finger nail really could have gotten into my cup. Odd. Did I do something to offend her? Certainly not. I gave her a full day of Cailey fun, even going to the beach at the river to play with cousins. It must have been an accident, I assure myself.
Today she came clean. Sort of. “Mom?” “Yes Cailey.” “Um, you know how yesterday there was a thinger nail in your cup?” “Yes Cailey.” “Well, um, I may have accidentally put it there. See, I had a thinger nail problem, and it kind of flew off and landed in your cup.” “Thanks for telling me Cailey, but you must always tell Mommy the truth when I ask you. Mommy wouldn’t have gotten mad.” Satisfied, she said, “Okay, next time I will.” And she bounces off to torture her sister.
No, Mommy doesn’t get mad. But she does get even. Tonight I spied one of my forgotten toe nails on the bathroom floor. It was a nice sized one. I picked it up and headed for the dining room. Her water cup was perched innocently on the kitchen table.
No, I didn’t do it. What kind of mother do you take me for?
But I certainly thought about it.
Posted in My Life as I See It | 15 Comments »
April 16th, 2007 at 6:03 am
Oh, DeeDee I SOOOOOOO take you as the kind of mother who would THINK about it! Ha! I am just giggling as I type this comment. What a great little exchange and what a fun read today. (okay, e.v.e.r.y. day!)
April 16th, 2007 at 7:16 am
I have thinger nail problems, too. But, like you, I wouldn’t. But, like Cailey, I don’t always fess up right away.
Too funny!
April 16th, 2007 at 7:35 am
I type in your address and as I wait for it to come up I lock my wheelchair into position because I know that if I don’t I am going to be laughing so hard it will roll all over the place. Seriously.
And I buy tissues now to keep at my desk because of you. *snort*
Remember the Folger’s commercial? This one’s for you~
The best part of waking up is DeeDee on my Dell!
Love, Amy (a total dork)
April 16th, 2007 at 11:45 am
so funny! i am the kind of mom who would consider that.
April 16th, 2007 at 12:05 pm
What a fun story! I love this blog and design..YOu are a fun mom!!!
On another note, Amy’s Random Thoughts is having a blogging scavenger hunt starting May 1st. Prizes to be announced later this week! Would love to see you there!!!
April 16th, 2007 at 12:24 pm
You are sooooo funny! I always enjoy your blog! And of course it’s okay to think about those kinds of things. What mother wouldn’t at least think about it! As long as we don’t always act on our thoughts………..
April 16th, 2007 at 1:13 pm
LOL!! You had me cracking up (and consequently coughing up a lung) at the fact that you spelled her words phonetically! That’s just too good.
I sure do like you…
April 16th, 2007 at 2:39 pm
HeeHee – I like your fake coughing incident – funny, funny.
And I’m wondering what kind of thinger nail problem exactly was there that landed one in your glass? That’s probably another post all by itself.
April 16th, 2007 at 3:01 pm
Oh, that Cailey is priceless. Shameless, but priceless. Gotta love a girl who is already concerned about thinger nail problems.
April 16th, 2007 at 3:56 pm
OH MY GOODNESS, YOU MAKE ME LAUGH! I’m repulsed and relieved…..that I’m not the only one with evil thoughts! Mwaahaahaa!
Gayle
April 16th, 2007 at 4:17 pm
I’m glad my kids are either a) not vindictive or b) I don’t know that they are vindictive, lol.
cause they could really get me, you know.
Thanks for sharing that, I love hearing all the cute things kids do!
April 16th, 2007 at 4:47 pm
I’d consider it and think about it for a long time.
April 16th, 2007 at 6:04 pm
Okay, so remind me to never accidentally drop any fingernails in your water. I fear you might not exercise the same restraint if it’s not one of your daughters.
Very cute story.
April 17th, 2007 at 10:29 pm
Got a good giggle out of this one. One of my favorite sayings around here when the kids get crazy on me is “chokey little neck!!!!” I gleam at them with those Mommy is going to get you eyes and they giggle and run. Of course, I wouldn’t choke them, but they enjoy the play-acting. Daddy just tells them he is going to eat their “apple pie bellies”. They always try and convince him that their bellies taste like yucky stuff. Of course, you know the stuff they most likely list off… boogars, motor oil, mud, MUSTARD! Revenge is sweet! Maybe your Cailey needs a “knuckle sandwich” (my mom used to give me those with her fist tickling my neck)… or a raspberry on her belly! Sounds like time to take matters into your own hands!
April 21st, 2007 at 11:46 am
I am soo glad I’m not the only one who tortures my children..I’ve often said they will be on a therapists couch before they are 20..:))
My number 3 boy (when he was 4YO) got mad at me one day cuz I wouldn’t give him a chocolate bar for breakfast. I was on the phone, ignoring him, and I felt a warm sensation down my leg. Looked down to discover the little creepy kid peeing on me. ON purpose. Aiming. Peeing on my leg cuz he is mad over the candy bar. How do you recover from something like that??! I’ll take your advice and maybe just think about peeing back on him..haha