Fiddledaddy came strolling through the room the other night while I was wasting time working on the computer. He said to me, “Your posts have been pretty shallow lately. You need to come up with something deeper soon.”
Not today, y’all.
In order to write something profound and meaningful, I would need to experience a few consecutive nights of uninterrupted sleep. My brain cells are not in any condition to rub together to even emit a coherent thought pattern. Caffeine is not helping. And that’s just plain unfortunate.
I caught Jensen drinking from the Neutrogena lotion bottle. Again. I thought I had it back far enough on the changing table. But he evidently is able to stand on his little tiptoes and retrieve it. I heard him making his “ummm” sounds. That’s Jensen speak for “delicious.” He rounds the corner with the pump apparatus in his pie hole, spots me, screams, and turns his diapered bottom around and runs down the hall. Clutching the bottle.
Instead of Betty Ford, I may need to look into the Elizabeth Arden Clinic For Toddlers.
I looked at the bottle, after I wrestled him to the floor to get it back. I couldn’t spot any ingredient that might prove addicting. Or good tasting. It’s fragrance free, for the love of pete.
Earlier today I took Jensen to the doctor. Not for his addiction, but to get another opinion about his eczema. This doctor was very helpful. I think. It was hard to hear over all of Jensen’s screaming and protesting. The doctor said something to the effect of my limiting his sugar and caffeine intake. “WHHAAAT?”, I yelled. When he repeated himself, I informed the doctor that Jensen doesn’t get any sugar OR caffeine. At all. Not even white flour. He only eats whole grains.
And Neutrogena Fragrance Free Lotion.
Then he told me about something that may very well change my life. He said that I need to supplement Jensen’s diet with DHA For Kids, from the health food store. He said it might make him calmer. Before you could say “see you in two weeks”, I was out the door, strapping Junior in the car, speeding heading to the health food store. I also was given a prescription for some cream to help with his itching. It’s a one treatment ointment and I have to leave it on him for 8 hours, so I’ll give it a go tomorrow.
The DHA For Kids is a Dietary Supplement which will boost his immune system and support “learning, attention, and concentration.” Far out. The only problem is, that it’s really nasty tasting. And Jensen has a rather refined palate. Thus far, I haven’t been able to sneak it into anything without his taking notice, and promptly spitting it onto the wall.
I may slip it into his bottle of Neutrogena, and leave it within a Jensen’s arm reach. Even in my vegetative state, I can have a flash of brilliance.
If all goes well, I could be sleeping through the night by tomorrow evening. Then ready yourselves for some really cerebral and thought provoking writing.
I know. I can’t wait.
{ 31 comments }
Elizabeth Arden Clinic for Toddlers. You are hilarious! Here’s hoping you get a good night’s sleep soon!
Love your writing- even if Fiddledaddy does think it’s shallow! It’s right up my alley!
You tell Fiddledaddy to leave well enough alone…laughter is good medicine, and I always get a healthy dose when I stop by here.
Hoping you get a scholarship to the EAC for Toddlers….I hear their stuff is pricey!!
Man, you had me ready to head to the health store until you said the stuff was nasty-tasting. I’ve got an 11yo who could stand a little help in the “learning, attention, and concentration” department.
I am new to your blog, and I am sitting here alone, like a dork, laughing out loud at the “Elizabeth Arden Clinic for Toddlers” line. Priceless!
Hope the supplement helps
I second slipping it into the lotion. Lol! And boy can I relate to bad sleep=questionable blogging.
I don’t know what could be deeper than talking about a toddler’s struggle with Neutrogena addiction.
I, for one, am always entering deep, deep thought whenever I read your blog. I know that at the end of each post, I will have learned something that I wasn’t aware of before I got up this morning.
Like today, I learned….
Nope, sorry. Nothing today. But I still love your blog. Laughter truly is the best medicine and I will keep coming back for my daily dose!
I am reading your blog for the first time today and I am really enjoying it! Pooey on what Fiddledaddy says- you are quite funny!
Of course the DHA’s nasty tasting, if it actually does any good! I am not above giving my kids Dr. Pepper, in order to slip a little nastiness by them. And DHA is definitely on my check-it-out list, since it allegedly helps with “learning, attention and concentration.” My three could definitely use help with the last two of those three critical attributes.
Hilarious story!
My kids suck on the lotion and soap bottles too. I watch them like hawks and grab those bottles away. What I can’t figure out is why they do it… soap and lotion taste TERRIBLE.
Oh, and also, pretty much every single afternoon in the bath they DRINK the bath water… I’ve given up trying to stop them.
You’re deep enough for me. My kids like to eat that pink baby lotion. I can’t figure it out. They won’t eat beans or any other vegetable, but they’ll eat that.
First of all, your blog is just FINE the way it is. But do you know what? My husband told me the same thing (about my blog, not yours!) the other night, too.
Hi,
This is my first visit to your blog. It’s great! I got your address from MaryBeth’s blog.
About the whole eczema thing, we found out (not from our pediatrician) that eczema is almost always food allergy related. For our son it was dairy and soy. Aquaphor “helped” while we were figuring things out, but never cured it. He hasn’t had an outbreak since last March when we figured this out! Good Luck!
Dear Fiddledaddy,
We in Blogville need~NO~we crave FiddleDeeDee’s posts! I say this in the sweetest tone~please leave well enough alone! We deal with real life everyday. I know how much your wife’s posts help me start my day out with a giggle or two. Not only does she make me laugh, but she does reinforce God’s Word in many of her posts~usually just when I need to “hear” it the most! Thank you!
Neutrogena now with D.H.A. I can see it now!
As for the eczema I can relate – I have terrible eczema. Have you tried bathing Jensen with Goat’s milk soap? The milk in the soap helps keep the moisture in the skin and that helsp people with eczema. You’ll still need the prescribed lotion but it may help in conjunction with it.
I’m completely vindicated. This is why we need blogging girlfriends! Men can only take so much talk of feces, menstruation and puking.
Now, in Fiddledaddy’s defense. He is perhaps the funniest person I know. And he (gently) persuades me to “dig deeper” when I write. Which is great, because it stretches me. But Fiddledaddy has discovered that I’m not very pliable these days! I’ll just bet that he brings me a little chocolate when he gets home from work tonight!!!
It’s just not fair that I have to share you with all these other ladies.
You will have to tell your husband that you put together better posts than most of us put together – even when you are in a vegetative state (with one arm tied behind your back). Ha.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh my word, you are too, TOO funny!
It is a rare day I don’t enjoy our blog. You are always funny and have interesting kid stories. Did ya ask the doc about the lotion? My dear brother used to eat paper all the time. Doc said he was missing a nutrient found in paper and when his body found another source he would quit. He eventually did.
I agree with all the above.
I sat here trying to conjure up some witty comment and response but everyone’s already said it and if you’ve got the chocolate, what more do you need?!
Oh, I was getting ready to head out the door for my 20 month old some DHA. But, she too, won’t take it if it’s nasty. Wonder if it works if you just rub it on them? ha ha
I hear ya sister. Lack of sleep, or zoloft for that matter, makes for a poor blogging experience.
Go for the chocolate, Big guy…..it’s the way to every womans heart.
I’m sure Fiddle Daddy is a wonderful man and that’s why you married him. But clearly, he is not a woman and doesn’t understand that we love you just the way you are!
Thanks for sharing your life and mishaps with us and for letting us laugh at – I mean WITH – you!
I can only say that as a mom with a boy that is now 4-1/2 with eczema, I wish I’d have known about the DHA…he was so crazy hyper as a toddler, but has calmed down. Interestingly enough, our Pedi told me to limit his milk consumption (I began giving him goat’s milk) and it should help clear up the eczema (in addition to no bubble baths or soap of any kind on his skin)- now the only time he breaks out is when I decide to do something stupid and let him have a glass of chocolate milk!
OK, DeeDee, I’ve been trying to find a way to e-mail you but I’m striking out. Your post the other day about shopping inspired me to share a story on my blog. (I wanted to leave it as a comment, but it’s too long!) Anyway, here’s the link – enjoy!
http://surviving-motherhood.blogspot.com/2007/03/shopping-with-susan.html
My kids all have eczema and food allergies. There are lotions that make it better, but don’t get rid of it.
I hear if you mix gross medicines with Neutrogena lotion, it makes them work quicker
I would suggest seeing an allergiest, they would probably be more help. Jensen is 2, he is suppose to be full of energy.
Jensen sounds very smart — it looks like he’s just working on clearing up his eczema from the outside in. Very logical.
Yeah, I’m lacking on the deep stuff lately, too. And the sleep. I agree — they go hand in hand. But you always make me smile, or laugh out loud, and when I’m living on very little sleep, that’s just what I need.
And of course, I meant that Jensen’s working on it from the INSIDE out. See? I told you I was sleep-deprived!!
LOL! I hope the DHA helps. I’ve started taking fish oil capsules myself…
Gosh I feel your pain on the excema. We have dealt with it with my middle son since he was a baby and he is 7 now! He has it bad…related to food allergies. I recommend frequent baths, vaseline creamy right after the bath while still wet and cotton everything. Scent free detergent and no dryer sheets. Hope that helps!
Laura
Instead of reading my daily proverb like a good girl should, I woke up today and read this blog about the neutrogena pump…then I read it aloud to Ted and we were cracking up. Kids are so trippy!
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