I’ve decided to tackle a subject that I’ve never covered in my blog. I would like to talk about menstruation. At this point, any male readers should turn from their computers and run shrieking from the room. I guarantee that’s what my husband will do. He can’t handle it. The man has been on the business end of me during three births, but anytime I start talking details of a menstrual nature, he turns green and backs out of the room. Near tears.
As hard as a period is on us, ladies, it’s difficult for our men too. They try to understand what we go through. But can’t. The hormone changes, mood swings, bloating, constipation. Yes, I said constipation.
And the pain.
I have cramps that would kill any mortal man. I’ve had them since I was a teenager. It was a sure bet that on the first day of my period, my mom would have to come and collect me from school. And back in the 70’s, there was nothing I could take that would help. Midol was a joke. Short of hitting me over the head with a mallet and rendering me unconscious, nothing brought relief.
A number of months ago, my doctor prescribed a mild pain killer; however, it made me drool and run into walls. While I was fun to watch, I had to discontinue it’s use. I find that alternating Ibuprofen and Extra Strength Tylenol brings a good deal of pain reduction. Although, I have to keep careful track of what I take and when. I want to avoid the following headline on our news station: “Housewife Accidentally Overdoses On Ibuprofen, Found Face down In The Carpet, Clutching An Oreo. News At 10.”
My husband indeed tries to be understanding. He sends sympathetic looks my way. He hands over the heating pad to me during “that time” with no strings attached. No pun intended. Last night, he brought home a piece of chocolate cake that my sweet friend, Lisa made. I licked the plate that it came on. And while picking doily out of my teeth, I murmured a great debt of gratitude to both my husband and Lisa.
But really, since the day of Adam, they can’t possibly understand. In the third Chapter of Genesis, after Eve had listened to the serpent and eaten of the forbidden fruit, and talked her husband into eating it as well, the Lord God pronounced this on womankind:
Genesis 3:16 To the woman he said,
“I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing;
with pain you will give birth to children.
And there it is. The whole reason that we menstruate is to be able to bear children. God willing. I’ve never had to struggle with infertility. I have three beautiful healthy children. So, I’ll bear this pain and consider it a privilege. It is something that sets women apart from man. Our ability to bring forth life.
Oh yes, I’m going to gripe and complain and moan and groan a little lot. Especially if it nets me a piece of chocolate cake every now and then.
{ 27 comments }
Can you send a piece of my chocolate cake my way?
Thanks for the post!
~tonya
Now that I am done with having children I would love to be done with the periods. I have the gyno give me a perscriptions for pain medication, the over the counter stuff does not cut it. And they make me feel wonderfully loopy
My sister has them so bad she has to give herself a shot…l
I feel your pain sister.
I too feel your pain, although this month not as much. I’m thinking the exercise is finally paying off (I have always read that exercise helps with cramps but never did anything about it until recently). Prior to pregnancy #3 (I think, it is all a blur really) my doc gave my some hormone that blocked the pain recpetors or something. It was great, but then I got pregant and didn’t need it and don’t know what it was.
I try to remember it is a gift to be this blessedly regular and that it has indeed made me able to bear 4 children. And we can always offer it up! While eating chocolate of course.
Gimme, gimme, gimme CHOCOLATE!
I’m not sure why God allowed me the joys of menstration since He knew I was going to adopt all my kiddies. Yes, it’s been a long 32 years of cramps and mood swings, but can you imagine if it was the other way around? Men are not tough enough to handle it~whimps!
I am woman, hear me ROAR!
Great post. This is a true topic for every red-blooded woman..IE? Every Woman!
K, I love your blogs they are great. And just made my day today…can’t wait to read more.
Chrissy
Awesome blogs!!
is there NOTHING you can do? i used to have bad cramps as a teenager, but i went on the pill…i didn’t even feel them anymore.
I know where you are coming from. I have so been there. When I was younger I started taking all the b vitamins and magnesium which really helped, then I found Traditional Medicine’s “Female Toner” which helped even more. Then I found the wonderful little product that I wrote about here which has changed my life (hubby agrees).
Just how many times can you divide that piece of chocolate cake? Enough times for me to have sliver? LOL.
Luckily for me I just consumed my children’s M&Ms, so for now I’m good.
Dee Dee, this was hilarious…OH I can relate. I’ve found Aleve to be more helpful than ibuprofen, by the way.
I have heard Nancy Campbell from Above Rubies say that Woman actually means “womb man.” You made me think of this little factoid with your post.
Love your blog and look forward to reading it every day!
mmmmmmmm! oreos! Okay really Dee Dee, You need to stop these kinda posts they have me laughing so hard I think all my inards are going to explode! I have tears rolling down my cheeks and Kai is patting my back saying ” It’s okay mama, It’s okay”
I have one day that is so heavy I can’t leave the house. I’ve finally found a nighttime help for that: sleep on one of those waterproof baby pads!
I’d like to kick Eve in the shins.
As a infertility “alumni”, I can tell you that “Aunt Flo” is actually praised in many of those circles! *wink* It means the “plumbing” is trying to work normally! LOL So, she is still (begrudgingly) on my something-to-look-forward-to list for a little while longer!
Mmm, yes, Kick her in the shins, then make her sit through 13 hours of prenatal videos (of the uncensored variety)..
I just found your blog and oh my gosh I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time! My husband is so afraid of “my friend” he can’t even say the words!! It sound ridiculous for a 40 something man to refer to it as “your friend” She/It is NOT MY FRIEND!!! Friends do not bring cravings for chocolate, friends actually BRING the chocolate!!!!
LOL I figured out I may need to take some chill pills (st. johns wart) when my 7yo ds said he wanted to save the rainforest when he grows up because cocoa beans grow there and they are used to make chocolate and since he has a mom and 2 (at the time) sisters and will eventually have a wife, he never wants the world to run out of chocolate!
this was a typical conversation at our house “Mom, can I have some of your M&M’s?” “This is the time of month you better not even ask for my chocolate!”
Hear! hear! Sometimes being a woman sucks, but I get to have a ‘secret’ stash of chocolate- hubby keeps it stocked up!
I hear ya. I have Multiple Sclerosis. I once had a nuerologist suggest starting me on Chemotherapy to ammend my immune system. The reasoning behind this was my immune system was attacking itself so if We killed the immune system it would stop attacking me.
I remember him pulling me aside and say in a hushed tone that he was sorry that I would lose my cycle. Lose my cycle–HMMM let me think…I had two kiddos and the cramps were STILL well you know…Sign me up.
This was when I learned that men don’t know #%@!. No CYCLE ?
Yeah right. My cycle was 3 weeks on and one week off for 8 months. 3 on one off. 3 on one off. My poor husband–It was always that time of the month. I finally complained to my regular docter. He put me on the pill for 6 months. It evened out my system 
Luck of the draw when that 6 mnths was up my Chemo was also up. I haven’t had a cycle since 2003. The Dr.s assure me that it isn’t menopause and I’m not pregnant–I just went out with a bang.
Every once in awhile my hubby will bring home a bag of chocolate. I am always grateful for this. I asked him the other day– Honey Why Chocolate? He said Dear its habit have you looked at the calender?
Gotta love him. That is probably why we are still together these 23 years. He knows my buttons. Our daughter is 13 and her cycle hasn’t started yet. I cringe.
My son (14) has a friend who has started her period. He is so impatient with her when she is on her period. I always tell him to suck it up and get used to it. He says NEVER! He is only 14.
Have a great day everyone
Pammy Jean
Ahhh, the curse. I am blessed to not have horrible periods besides bleeding enough to drown a small village. However, I’ve been menstruating since I was 10…talk about a looooong haul.
“…clutching an oreo.” OMGosh I am laughing so hard! My mom used to call it “the curse of Eve” LOL.
I had all but forgotten. Hot flashes are no picnic either and no one thinks to bring you chocolate cake when you are sweating bullets.
It’s the mood swings that get to me. I cry over silly things, get so “sensitive” and am so relieved when “it” finally comes because then I know the reason I’ve been so moody.
My poor hubby… we have two girls so it will be fun around here in a few years.
I’m blessed that my cycles aren’t too horrible… I get grouchy though. Poor hubby. As for dealing with Aunt Flo, things are much easier for me since I got a Mooncup… some of the discomforts I erroneously associated with AF’s arrival were actually caused by modern-day “feminine protection”.
I would however love to find a magic cure for migraines!
I live with my two guys, husband and teenage son. They told me that they are so glad that I’ve finally gotten my PMS under control. It only took 14 years! I notice that since I started taking my Calcium pills that I’m feeling much better during this time. The cravings have gotten in control too. Only one chocolate chip muffin yesterday and it because I was running to the store in my robe and slippers to get it.
Thanks for the opportunity.
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