I emerge from the bathroom, head hanging low,eyes downcast. My husband asks, “So, what did the scales say?”
“Get off,” I reply.
The year has come to an end, and I hadn’t accomplished one blasted thing that I set out to do at the beginning of 2006. Oh, I had lofty goals, to be sure. A clean, organized house. The loss of all baby weight. Especially since the “baby” is nearly 2. All Homeschooling books and supplies neatly shelved and journals up to date. And what did I accomplish?
A big fat nothing.
In fact, the state of things around here has been worse than in January of last year. I’ve really had to do some soul searching to be able to account for my lack of progress. And backsliding.
And what I’ve realized is that the very thing that has always kept me centered, kept me pressing forward, has been my joy and comfort, has been sadly neglected. Well, no wonder I’ve been wallowing in all this muck. And sticking to my cheap linoleum.
What I have forsaken, is my relationship with my Savior. I’m not reading His Word. I’m not in a Bible study. My prayer life has been condensed to “Oh Lord, help me” in times of stress. Sort of like “Hail Mary” throws into my basketball net of life. And I’m not a very accurate throw.
So, now that I’ve pinpointed the problem, what am I going to do about it?
Quite a bit, actually.
I’m beginning a Bible study with a bunch of women and we’ll be covering the book “Celebration of Disciplines: The Path to Spiritual Growth” by Richard Foster. This study will be starting this month and I cannot tell you how excited I am about it. I’m positively giddy. Also, I’m putting Jensen through “baby boot camp” to get him to sleep through the night again. Then I’ll be able to rise early in the morning and spend time reading the Word of God, praying, journaling, and sucking down coffee at breakneck speed.
The key for me is discipline. Like will power, I don’t have much of it. And the key for discipline is accountability. I have always seen the most growth in my spiritual walk when I’m committed to study with a group of Godly women. God calls us into fellowship so that we can encourage one another, and learn as well. And I think God knows that we need other women, because our husbands can only take so much of our yammering.
Starting this blog this last summer has been a godsend for me. I have been blessed and encouraged by other women who are experiencing the same trials that I am. I am also wanting to use this blog to be more transparent. So that I can be held accountable in this venue as well. I’ll be writing about the study, my relationship with God, and the growth that I fully expect to experience in my life. Don’t worry, my posts will still contain plenty about my exploits with poop and boogers. And I’ll be sure to record the inevitable vomit accounts, for your reading pleasure.
And I’ll write about the cleaning and organization of my home. But I’ll keep the gross details to myself. Like the removal of the dead cockroach that I smashed in the door jam. Initially left to serve as a warning to other cockroaches. There’s a new sheriff in town, people.
And the weight loss. I’m oddly excited about that. More about it later this week.
At the end of 2007, I will look back in my archives at this page, and I’ll write about the changes in my home life, and my spiritual life. And I fully expect that they will be wonderful.
“For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13
Happy New Year everyone!
(For more New Year’s meditations, check out Laurel Wreath.)
{ 33 comments }
Hi,
Happy New Years! I too am going to use my blog to stay accountable. Good luck with your goals. I can recommend Laura’s and Lara’s blogs on organizing.
http://www.orgjunkie.blogspot.com/
http://laragallagher.com/blog/index.html
Reading these blogs has really helped me get organized. And I am a chronic case believe me!
Happy New Year’s!
Just as a recommendation, for a great (as in excellent, really superb, life-changing) Bible study group, try Bible Study Fellowship (bsfinternational.org). They meet in groups around the world and it is by far the best Bible study I have ever been involved in – non-denominational, small groups, excellent teaching straight from the Bible. This year we’re doing Romans, last year it was Genesis. But check out their website for a group near you. I’m in New Zealand and we only have a few groups but in the States they’re all over the place. I find that accountability is key for me as well and knowing that I have to show up each week and meet in my group and actually have somewhat intelligent answers to frequently tough questions makes me actually put my novel down and pick up my Bible. I can’t say enough good things about it!!
I also look forward to stories about boogers and vomit. I can totally relate.
Happy New Year! Great goals. I’ll be praying along side you as I make some of those same changes in my life.
Oh sweet friend, I am right there with you. This is why I am stepping down with helping with the middle school. I have such a desire to be in a group, around people who can help me if I fall in my pity parties (which I so happen to do on occasion), and for the accountability. I am excited to hear about your study, I have not heard of that author.
I too am doing the exercise thing. My boys are beginning basketball at the YMCA, and well while they practice Momma’s going to be working on a new body herself. I. just. need. to. get. over. there. Why does that drive seems sooo far away when it is only about a mile, ha!!
I look forward to getting to know you better this next year. You have been such a blessing in my life.
I, for one, will be waiting impatiently to find out what in the world could possibly be making you EXCITED about exercising? Please tell me you’ve found some new magic exercise machine that burns 20 calories per minute and is super easy to use…
Yes ma’am. Right there with you.
I just linked to you – hope that’s okay. Email me if it’s not.
Happy New Year!
I think this is my first time to your blog, and wow…this was good.
I need discipline too…
Happy New Year and here’s to a year of growth for both of us!
Great post. I totally know what you mean. I have prayed for you today that God will help you sift through the condemnation from the enemy (which will weigh you down) and cling only to the conviction from Him (which will pull you up.)
And the “gross details”… you don’t have to keep them ALL to yourself…
Happy New Year!
I think too that the best way to stay focused on the task ahead of us, as wives and mothers, we need His strength. We do need the accountability with other women…I pray that I will too find a great Bible study group with up-coming year. I am thrilled that you have found that group already.
May our Lord with give your the strength to see you through this year. BTW – Philippians 4:13 is my lifeline
I can truly understand this. I have moved 4 times this summer. Yep, 4. Now I am in a home and with the holidays unable to see what the local churches look like. They are never “normal” at the holidays…programs, cancellations and such. I have no local friends. I know no one. So I am starting from scratch, again. I miss the fellowship of my old mega church. I miss my time alone with the savior. God be with you on your new year’s journey to rest at his feet.
Blessings to you as you are open and honest about your struggles. We have all lived there. I thank God that He is patiently waiting for us, to strengthen us, and to draw us closer.
Well, for everything you didn’t accomplish in ’06, you did at least start your blog and I have thoroughly enjoyed it. Adding your experiences with growing closer to God can only add to that, but I am pleased to hear you decided to keep the poop and boogers. It’s highly entertaining. Blessings to you in the New Year!!
That blog could have been written by moi! Just yesterday at church, I realized the reason for all my stress, worries, frustrations, lack of focus,relationships going downhill, etc. is because I had neglected the most important relationship of all – the one with my Savior. I am glad that you have realized it as well – I look forward to continuing the journey with you and seeing what terrific things the New Year holds for both of us!
May you be encouraged, DeeDee. I think your writing is really on target, and I’ll be checking in to see how your goals are joyfully and humorously achieved. Happy 2007!
Happy New Year!
At church this morning the priest was talking about making more time in life for prayer – every morning should begin with prayer. It really struck me how I’ve let some of this slide when life gets hectic.
I’m doing an online bible study and I’m planning on doing morning and night prayers with my DH and evening prayers as a family.
Life is a pure gift and I think the big thing I do is take it for granted. There is a young mother of 4 that I know who is dying and it really forces me to realize that a lot of stuff that I think is important or a big problem – in the grand scheme of things isn’t.
May God Bless you and your family with health and happiness for 2007.
Happy New Year DeeDee! As much as I love the Lord I have been neglecting Him lately too. My family is so dependent on me and I set aside any alone time I have so I can be there for them. Not that that is such a bad thing, but I have realized that I cannot be affective if I am not focusing on Him first! I need Christ to give me the answers! Since so many of us are struggling with devotions hopefully we can all hold each other accountable!
My mom and I talked this morning about this very thing and she said her Bible will stay on her bed at all times so that it will be the first thing she does every morning. Our pastor also says that nothing becomes a habit until you do it for about thirty days straight~I am looking forward to the end of January to see if he is right!
Know that I will be praying for you this coming year. I hope I can be an encouragment to you somehow, someway!
In Him, Amy
Good luck with all of your goals. I too am in need of spiritual revitalization. I have been blessed beyond measure by my Bible Study with women and will keep meeting with them as long they’ll let me.
I’ll be looking forward to reading your thoughts.
I definitely believe that spending time with God is the key to getting my entire life in order. Bible study in a group and alone is essential to that. I am glad to see that someone else is on the same wavelength as I am. I will be back to check out your other postings!
Happy New Years!
Oh, I can relate. I have the left over baby fat too – from 5 years ago. I’m finally getting mine off and that just started in the last 3 weeks. May God bless you especially well in this coming year and may 2007 exceed your expectations!
May God bless you richly as you step out in fellowship and desire to spend time in His Word, in prayer, etc.. If you seek Him, you will find Him! May He rejuvenate your life! Blessings to you in 2007!
Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster is one of my FAVORITE books. I think you will really enjoy the study!
Good goals. I wish you well in your achieving them. Mine are much the same as yours, with a few tweeks here and there.
And 2 years is normal for losing that baby stuff, right? 
Great post! Good to know you have a plan, Stan.
Just a note…I don’t think leaving the bodies behind deters the pests. I’ve been leaving ant bodies on my dining room floor…and it seems to attract more of them as they all come to ogle and point.
Happy new year.
I wish I had pregnancy weight as an excuse. My weight is just from too much cheesecake the past two months. Time to get back on my exercise schedule.
Wonderful post, DeeDee. Yup, same here. Lots of reading about Him and less focused Bible reading –I still haven’t finished my devotions for the day, keep getting distracted by all the cool stuff I could be doing.
Looking forward to seeing what He is doing iin your life!
You go girl! If transparent is your goal, you’ve started off on the right foot for sure! I agree, we’ll go nowhere fast if we haven’t gotten with the Savior first and in his word. I’ll be thinking and praying for you as you I commit to a new Bible study this month and continue pursuing living a life for Jesus. Love and blessings sent your way from under my pile!
I exercised today! Now I need to get started on those spiritual goals. I’ll be checking back in regularly on your progress.
Great post DeeDee! I wish you all the best in your new study. I’ve started on a new devotional journey as well…I too need discipline. I look forward to reading more soon.
DeeDee,
We must be on the same brainwave…I, too, am fed up with myself personally and want to get my rear in gear. My blog is going to feature my progress and I also want to be held accountable! My goal is to spend my life moments as wisely as possible. I will be exploring all the ways in which to do this, including getting myself back into the Word and staying faithful to my Bible study. Among MANY other pursuits toward this end! Anyway, I love knowing that we’re both in the same boat here, just sick enough of ourselves to want to do something about it! Good luck to you and to me, too!
Love,
Becky
I do love your transparency, and this is the Fiddledeedee that we’ve come to love, “I’ll be writing about the study, my relationship with God, and the growth that I fully expect to experience in my life. Don’t worry, my posts will still contain plenty about my exploits with poop and boogers. And I’ll be sure to record the inevitable vomit accounts, for your reading pleasure.”
You’re full of God, and you’re so full of life. I love that.
One more thing–I did a repeat of my blunder at CWO, forgetting to add you to my blogroll at my personal blog, but it’s not as bad as I’ve been slowly adding links since I put the site up. I couldn’t forget about the girl with the cucumber eyes, now could I?
I came here, following Laurel Wreaths links, and am glad I did!
I can so relate to some of what you said. I see by your profile that you also homeschool, and this is my second year…I feel so good about my choice, yet I sometimes feel overwhelmed with my lack of ability to keep up with housework, ect. I know, in the long run, what is most important, but I do want to at least become a little better at keeping the clutter down and get a system going. Oh…and the weight thing. I use to be slim, but it seems every Christmas I gain just a little bit more….
Anyway, nice to visit here…stop by mine if you can and say hi.
Blessings,
~Tammy
I admit, I’m distracted by the omlete maker and now I’m trying to figure out how to get to Walmart this week. Putting that aside, I can so relate to your post, especially the part about accountability.
I do find that being in a Bible study helps and I’m going to *try* to take two this winter but I’m okay if I determine it’s too much and I drop one. One is good. I’ll for sure be taking Beth Moore’s Living Beyond Yourself and then I’m going to check out the local BSF which a friend has recommended.
I look forward to reading more of your blog!
~Terri
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