A Matter of Modern Convenience

I’ve been reading the “Little House on the Prairie” series to my girls. They are loving the stories of life in the “olden days.” I’m continually bewildered by the fact that Ma Caroline ran her household without ANY of the modern conveniences that I enjoy, and no one starved. Well, Mary did go blind, but that wasn’t Ma’s fault.

If I had been born during Laura Ingalls Wilder’s time, my family would have perished within a week. Whenever there is a new installment of “Survivor,” I lament that I didn’t send in an audition tape. My husband cannot suppress his laughter. “You’d be voted off within an hour!!!” Hardy har har.

I admit that I’m a little attached to my little modern conveniences. Tom reminds me every hurricane season of the nightmare I had when we first moved here. I dreamed that a hurricane was eminent, and I ran through the house screaming “Save the appliances!” Of course, this was before children.

Simply, there are some things that I don’t think I could live without. It’s no secret that I’m highly addicted to caffeine. I have 3 coffee pots. One is for a large pot of coffee, in case of company, or a sleep-deprived Mommy. One is my amazing Senseo coffee maker (a Christmas present to myself) which brews me the perfect cup of coffee in less than 30 seconds. And the third is a small 4 cup coffee maker that I keep in case the other two break. I also have a wonderful blender that will make me a frozen mocha no-sugar-added blended coffee drink anytime I want. I thumb my nose at you, Starbucks.

I also adore my bread-maker, citrus juicer, and electric ice tea pot. I have a love/hate relationship with my auto ice maker. It’s bipolar. Feast or famine with that one. I press the button, no ice. After I walk away, ice comes tumbling out onto the floor, like large golfball sized hail.

I need never leave my kitchen, really. Come to think of it, I seldom leave my kitchen (also known as “The Bridge” for all you Star Trek fans.) I have a tiny T.V. (to keep caught up on the weather), and a boombox to listen to my favorite tunes while I slave over my crockpot. My kitchen is a virtual cacophony of sounds. My baby boy runs away screaming like he’s on fire when I turn on the food processor. I have to haul the thing, ingredients, and all, into the bathroom to use it. You would think that he should be used to the sound, because I use it so often. Oddly, he has no problem with the vacuum, which gets turned on only on special occasions, like when something falls to the floor and breaks. I don’t get it.

There are those little appliances that I will have nothing to do with. As evidenced on a trip with my girls to the thrift store a couple of days ago. We’re walking down an aisle and Cailey says “Look Mom, a surf board,” as we strode past an ironing apparatus. My husband likes to remind me that his mother use to iron his Dad’s underwear. “Well, you didn’t marry your Mother, now did you?” Natalie, Tom’s mom, has since been enlightened by Oprah and all of us girls in the family. Actually, I am very much like Natalie, but that’s beside the point.

How do I feel about camping? To me, roughing it is staying at a cabin at Fort Wilderness in Disney World. The rough part is how expensive it is, especially when you add in the golf cart to get to the pool. This year, Emme will be joining American Heritage Girls, which is a scouting organization. The culmination of their badge earning year is a real honest to goodness camping trip, with the whole family. That organization is already eying me suspiciously. At a get-to-know-you meeting a couple of months ago, the scout leader led a discussion on community helpers. When asked if she knew what a policeman does for the community, my Emme promptly answered “They give my Mommy speeding tickets!” (Really, it was only one, and just a warning…really).

My dependence on modern conveniences could be tested. We’re smack dab in the middle of hurricane season. If we should have to be evacuated, we will go to a shelter. I know that the shelters don’t take pets (we’ll have to hide Barko), but can I bring my appliances?