It Coulda’ Been Worse

When Fiddledaddy and I were first married, we rented a little house in Tarzana, California. We soon learned that the homeowner employed the liberal use of duct tape for many home repairs.

We hardly noticed.

I mean, silver duct tape blends in so well with black and white linoleum. Why replace it, when holes can be so easily masked by a strip or five of duct tape?

And the whole reason that duct tape was created in handy silver, is for the repair and maintenance of plumbing issues. Albeit temporary.

Until the entire septic system backs up into the house. While you are away on your honeymoon. And your new sister-in-law and her husband are housesitting your very angry cat. And there is only one bathroom.

We had to inform our landlord that the duct tape didn’t cut it anymore. But nice effort.

I’ll admit, that now as a homeowner and mother of three, I always keep a roll of duct tape handy. In case I need to keep a kid quiet.

Oh, relax. I am kidding.

I did, just yesterday in fact, repair the shower head with a well placed strip of duct tape. I’m awfully fond of my shower head. And with the addition of the duct tape, I ought to get at least another 6 months of good use out of it.

But, this last week, Fiddledaddy found a creative use for duct tape that I never would have dreamed of. As you know, Jensen wakes up in the night with fits of wild scratching. I’ve sewn socks onto the hands and feet of his superhero pajamas. Sewing worked oh so much better than the stapling.

And my original thumbtack idea was seriously flawed.

However, my boy has herculean type strength, and has been able to wriggle out of his pajamas, despite my best faux Betsy Ross type efforts. One night, while I was wandering the streets muttering obscenities at the light poles out, Fiddledaddy fastened Jensen into his superhero pajamas.

Using the duct tape.

And he sold the whole idea to this skeptical 3 year old by telling him that the duct tape was really a superhero belt. That even included a codpiece. And Jensen bought it.

So much so, that he refuses to go to bed without being taped into his pjs.

I’m only hoping he grows out of this phase before potty training commences. Or before his first sleep over.

Or at the very least, before his honeymoon. But, by then, I will happily hand him, his nasty Blues Clues blanket, and his duct tape over to his wife. Who I have been praying for since he was one.

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I have been so very blessed regarding all the comments yesterday. Your support means the world to me. And boy, when I asked for information, y’all really stepped up to the plate. I’ve been organizing all of the data and informational websites into a file. Thank you again!

I’ve needed to take a little impromptu blogging break. We’re dealing with some significant health issues with my baby boy. But finally, praise God, we’re seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.

A very long tunnel. But I now have hope, so if I squint, I can see the end of it. That hasn’t always been the case.

Jensen has been diagnosed with severe Atopic Dermatitis. Simply put, he feels as though his skin is on fire, most of the time. He is miserable. He has trouble sleeping. And he can only look to us, his bedraggled parents, to make it all better. And so far, we’ve been unable to do that.

We’ve been doing our research, and trying many many different approaches, but, it seems that for every two steps forward, we take three steps back. This accounts for so many of his behavior issues. He is in pain.

And it has left me heartbroken.

This week, we met with a Christian holistic medical doctor in another town. It will take time, patience, and mean a lot of changes, but, he is very treatable.

HE IS VERY TREATABLE!

And unlike other Pediatricians we’ve seen, who simply want to slather him in steroids and hope he’ll grow out of it, this doctor goes about the business of healing the patient from the inside out.

I’ve been trying many different things with his diet, but this doctor has given me a very clear direction. Effective immediately, I have to take Jensen off of all dairy, wheat, gluten, and citrus fruits.

And here is the really great part! HE’S A REALLY REALLY PICKY EATER! And would eat only McDonald’s nuggets if I let him.

But there’s a new sheriff in town. One who is going to have to get awfully creative. With a bag of rice flour.

OH YEAH! And our little town doesn’t have a Whole Foods. Or a Trader Joes. A challenge, to be sure.

And he can only wear clothes made of 100% cotton. I just discovered that all his favorite blankets that he sleeps with are made of 100% polyester. Who thought that one up? Even his socks are not 100% cotton.

A while back, I started making my own washing machine detergent for his clothes. And I double rinse them and use those funny blue dryer balls, instead of fabric softening sheets.

I’m just like Ma Ingalls. Except I don’t have to beat the clothes on a rock by the creek. Yeah, I’m just like her.

Without going into all of the medical explanation, my boy is unable to digest many foods. This is also called “Leaky Gut Syndrome” and is linked to Candida, yeast overgrowth. For Jensen, it manifests itself as Atopic Dermatitis. He has a rash all over his little body, and he will scratch himself until he bleeds. He is now on very powerful probiotics, and oils, to boost his little immune system.

There is so much more to this, but I’m still trying to wrap my head around it, and there is still so much more research that I need to do.

I wanted to put this out there, to see if you all could help me, if you have any knowledge of this problem. Specifically, I’m looking for websites, recipes, cookbooks and tried and true products that can aid me in cooking for this little man.

Also, I want to find stores that sell clothing made of 100% cotton. Especially socks. And pajamas with feet in them.

(I did just order 3 pairs of size 5 pajamas with feet from Gap online. Woot!)

The diet that Jensen will be on is very similar to the diet used for kids with autism. And, thanks to Jenny McCarthy going public with her struggles and eventual cure of her autistic son, a holistic approach is more mainstream now. And there is a lot more information.

I am so grateful to have hope. I mean, this is not life threatening. And it is treatable.

And I am so grateful to you all, who are a listening ear when I need to just vent and ramble! Thank you, my bloggy friends!

In the days leading up to Mothers Day, I wasn’t in a celebratory mood. It had been a particularly difficult mothering week in the house of Fiddle. Hanging my head in shame, I could not, for the life of me, understand why God had entrusted me with three children to mother. I don’t have to look far to see wonderful, incredible examples of mothering goodness. Women who bask in the glow of motherhood, and revel in the ups and downs of parenting.

Not me.

For the better part of the week, I just wanted to curl up in the fetal position, and bark like a dog until someone saw fit to ply me with prescription medications. Just so I wouldn’t feel like such a loser. It didn’t work, everyone just stepped over me. The barking didn’t even phase them, they’ve been wanting a dog for some time now.

I went to bed Saturday night, not really looking forward to greeting Sunday morning. Mother’s Day. A funny thing happened. I woke up Sunday morning with tears on my pillow. Tears of relief from a dream that I had. I dreamed that I was homeschooling my three children. Which I think at times can be rather nightmarish. But my middle child, Cailey, who had been giving more-than-ordinary-grief all week, wasn’t mine. She belonged to a woman standing beside me, who had hired me to teach her. And as I stood there with this woman (who was much younger than me), I saw Cailey come running up to us, her strawberry hair flying behind her and bright blue eyes shining. She came to me and gave me a big hug, saying “I love you, Mommy.” And I thought to myself, “her mother isn’t going to like that.” And I panicked. Oh Lord, this woman could take Cailey from me, move away, and I would never see her again. And I hugged Cailey back, tightly, wanting to hang on to her and never let go.

And I woke up. Tears streaming from my eyes. Af first from grief, but then from the realization that Cailey is mine. And no one is going to take her from me. I believe that God sometimes uses dreams to show us things. He showed me perspective. And on that Mother’s Day morning, I looked at my role of mother with different eyes. And I was grateful for each of my three children. Who love me even when I fail. Who look to me to care for all of their needs. Who think I’m the greatest mom in the world.

Even when I’m not.

I can’t shake that dream. And the feelings it stirred in me. Even now as I write, I have a lump in my throat and am fighting tears.

I remembered a conversation that I had with Emme when I tucked her in bed Saturday night. She was asking me questions about Crystal, her little cousin who died in 2002 from cancer. She was only 11. Emme wanted to know if she would ever see Crystal again, and if her Aunt Cathy still cried. I had answered yes to both questions. Yes, she’ll see her Crystal in heaven, and yes, Aunt Cathy still missed her baby very much.

I cannot fathom what it’s like to lose a child. My grief over potentially losing one of mine, was immeasurable. And that was just a dream.

My Mother’s Day was not what I had expected. It was wonderful. As I hugged my children tightly, I thanked God for each one of them, and rejoiced in the knowledge that they are a gift from Him.

My most wonderful Mother’s Day gift was that dream. And the perspective that it left me with.

Originally published May, 2007

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After a particularly busy week, I’ve been unable to write a post for The Busy Mom’s Club on this weeks devotional. And I don’t want to just hurriedly slap something together and throw it against the wall to see if it sticks. Not unlike most meals I’ve prepared this week.

So, on this day after Mothers Day, I looked back in my archives to see what I had written a year ago. I had forgotten all about this post. But, when I read it, the memory washed over me, like a drowning wave. All of the same emotions surfaced. Fear, relief, panic, and finally, a great sense of gratitude.

And, on those days, when I don’t feel like journaling the days experience, I’m awfully glad that I do. In the years to come, I’m going to look back on each post (well, some I will likely pretend never published) and I will remember where I was and what I was doing when my children were small.

Because, if it were not for my daily ramblings here, I would forget. And I never want to forget. Because some day, sooner than I imagine, these babies of mine will be all grown. And my empty arms will long to hold them in a tight embrace. One more day.

Happy Belated Mothers Day, all you blogging, and blog reading mommies!

I’ve been holding out on y’all.

After yesterdays post, you may think that’s simply not possible. There could be nothing left to hide.

Not so. I have many many surprises up my sleeve.

Ready?

There is a package of Oreo cookies in my house. They’ve been here nearly a week. I even know where they are.

And I haven’t touched them.

But, that’s not possible, you say.

I finally, after much procrastinating, started back on Phase 1 of the South Beach diet. Today marks week 1 completed of the recommended two weeks spent in Phase 1.

Phase 1 mandates that I consume no sugars (even fruit) or bread or rice. This is to “clean out my system” and thusly, irradiate the cravings. I did Phase 1 after Cailey was born, and then stayed on Phase 2 and 3 for nearly a year. I lost about 30 pounds. I felt fabulous.

Then got pregnant again.

Cue the violins.

I’ve been loosely following South Beach since Jensen’s birth. I say loosely, because for me, loosely means I may have consumed entire boxes of Girl Scout Thin Mints from time to time. In one sitting.

The cravings were winning. So, I’m fighting back. After a week, I’m feeling great, and have lost 4 pounds. When Phase 2 begins, my weight loss will slow to one or two pounds per week. And that’s still really really good for me.

I have 13 pounds to go. Which is not a huge amount. But, on my short little dumpy body, I know I will look and feel better.

If you want more information on the South Beach Diet, check them out in my left sidebar. They are an affiliate because I am such a big fan. I am subscribing to their website for 4 weeks, to get new recipes, organize my meal plans, and let them put my shopping list together.

If they would only come and clean my house, I’d be joyous.

I’m eating a lot of eggs for breakfast these days, and I have many great breakfast dishes to share. This one is actually from the first South Beach cookbook.

Cheesy Frittata

2 t. Smart Balance Margarine
1/2 Sliced Onion
1/2 Cup Sliced Red Bell Pepper
1/2 Cup Sliced Zucchini
2 Small Plum Tomatoes, Diced
1 T. Chopped Fresh Basil (or 1/2 t. Dried)
Pinch of Freshly Ground Black Pepper
1/2 Cup Liquid Egg Substitute
1/2 Cup 1% Cottage Cheese
1/4 Cup Fat-Free Evaporated Milk
3/4 Oz. Shredded low-fat Monterey Jack Cheese

Coat an ovenproof 10” skillet with cooking spray and place over medium-low heat until hot. Melt the spread in the skillet. Add the onion, bell pepper, and zucchini and sauté over medium-low heat until the veggies are lightly browned, 2-3 minutes. Add the tomatoes, basil, and black pepper to the skillet and stir to combine. Cook until the flavors are blended, 2-3 minutes, and remove from the heat.

Preheat the broiler. In a blender, combine the egg substitute, cottage cheese, and milk and process until smooth. Pour the egg mixture over the vegetables. Cover and cook on medium-low heat until the bottom is set and the top is still slightly wet. Transfer the skillet to the broiler and broil until the top is set, 2-3 minutes. Sprinkle with the cheese and broil until the cheese melts.

This recipe serves two.

This is one of my favorite breakfast egg dishes. I’ve even made it for a light dinner. It is not nearly as complicated or time consuming as it sounds.

As usual, if you have a recipe to post for Saturday Stirrings, join in below. Link back here, and enjoy the rest of the weekend. I am amassing a wonderful array of new recipes thanks to y’all!

Learn more about Saturday Stirrings here.

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In order to understand what I’m about to say, you will need to read the post from Tuesday, and from Wednesday. That will be 5 minutes of your life you can never reclaim, but they are relevant.

Otherwise, you will just think I’m a raving lunatic.

But then, after this post, you will be certain I’m a raving lunatic, so it really doesn’t matter. Carry on.

This is all about the mugshot that my computer wouldn’t let me post. Some of you commented, asking Fiddledaddy to step in and work his technological magic so that the offensive photo can be viewed.

In good conscience, I could not ask him to do it. Because he would have said “NO!” As he found it insulting to would-be bank robbers everywhere. Bank robbers are people too, you know.

My sweet husband, who really should be used to me, is now convinced that I’m a few french fries short of a Happy Meal.

My blogging friend, Kelli, commented that she had not received her copy of the photo via e-mail. And I believe she was hurt by this.

Since Kelli and I have a blogging history, and she understands my level of crazy (at least she pretends that she does), and she knows all too well the affects of sleep deprivation, I sent it to her.

With only the caption: “Because you are my friend.” No other explanation.

After a few hours, I hadn’t heard back from her. Unusual, given the circumstances.

I thought I may have pushed the boundary of friendship, and she had deleted me from her hard drive altogether.

So, I checked my outbound e-mail to make sure it was indeed, outbound.

Imagine my horror when I discovered I had sent it to the wrong Kelli. To a Kelli from my MOPS group like 5 years ago. A Kelli who has no idea who I am.

Allrightythen. I quickly followed-up with an e-mail to stranger-Kelli explaining that hackers had commandeered my computer and I was not responsible for the content.

And then a lightening bolt came through the ceiling, knocking me out of my chair, rendering me senseless.

So, I told the truth.

Then I e-mailed the picture to the correct Kelli, telling her of Kelli #1’s misfortune at having received this horrendously frightening photo.

She assured me she would visit me in the poky. And today she let me know that I was now displayed on her computer desktop.

She’s depraved, that Kelli.

All that to say, that I took all of your comments to heart, and I certainly don’t want to disappoint you. What I have done, to honor your requests, is nothing short of brilliant. I took a picture of the image on my screen, and downloaded that into my blog images. It’s not as clear as the original. But, that’s probably for the best.

If this gives you nightmares, it’s your own fault. You should have listened to Mac.

If this is your first time visiting my blog, you should know that hackers have commandeered this post and…..

Phhhhhhttttttt.